Anxiety and a sense of impending doom engulfed me after every binge. Took several tries but eventually I started playing the tape forward by thinking 🤔...if you drink, you will have another long and painful day tomorrow, feeling nervous and fearful. Then hopefully it was time for bed (take melatonin) and I would always feel better in the morning, knowing I dodged a bullet.

You will most definitely feel better after several weeks of abstinence from alcohol.

Thank you all for all the help and kind words. Felt a bit better today kept active. There is trauma I need to deal with it has I realised become a trigger and my mind goes bk to it then I feel bad so I suffer then I give in. I have done rehab 12 steps and meetings for a long time but always slip bk. I need to address it somehow I felt that in past I was told to just look at my behaviour etc and my defects in any situation step 5 work and I suppose iv always felt that I was asleaus told to address my drinking and that the trauma was left untouched like I was supposed to just get over it and hand it over etc etc. Anyways Im fed up now if feeling the doom after a drink and I will be playing that tape forwards. I have a lot to achieve and won’t get there if stuck here in the cycle. Day 10 triggers me also must be aware. I plan on trying to write a plan and use exercise healthy living posting in here and reading books podcast etc. I don’t know if I will return to meetings tbh but then again I might. Heads a bit stressed at the moment as I’m scared of another drink I have to change I need to change or else this is it

No I haven’t but maybe I should as I think it’s quite ingrained in my behaviour and think about it most days. This is something I need to think about doing as iv never addressed it only through 12 step work and it’s not touched it