Railtek

So two years ago I experienced some very soul crushing news. Ironically it was a blessing in disguise because it made me stop drinking for three months. But sadly i went off the rails after those three months.

I proceeded to drink and I bottled up these emotions for two years because today I had updates on that experience - basically the same news 2.0..

It was not the news that hit me this time, it was the fact that I did nothing for my emotional state for 2 years. I spent two years drinking and I did not build any resilience nor did I learn to deal with these emotions and that situation.

Ironically again this is a blessing in disguise as it has made something click inside my head to not drink further.

I'm saddened that I don't know how to deal with life tragedies. I just do the norm, I drink them down but what a realization today was that it does not work because I'm still where I was after 2 years.. in fact probably even Longer because this is a compounding situation over 10 years.

Today I'm two days in, and it's not an achievement because it's the three months that will be my test. But I don't want to feel what ever I felt today again...

The the one thing that I achieved in those 3 months was a very strict gym routine (which helped) and I'm grateful that I used that knowledge to overcome today. I hit that exact same routine at 11pm at night and I came home a completely different person.

Thankyou.

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Anna

Two days of sobriety is an achievement and the fact that you are back and ready to do this again is great!

I think that stopping drinking and recovering (living a happy sober life) are two different things. As you said, it's important to deal with your emotions, rather than drink them away. It takes some hard work to deal with things that come along in life, but it's worth the effort. Like you, I found that consistent exercise helped me a lot.

And, remember you can always find support here, so keep reading and posting.

Dee74

I didn't know how to do a lot of adult things either when I quit - but life won't stop for us to get used to things - it keeps coming - so I learned fast.

I'm sure you will too Railtek.

I am sorry for whatever your news is.

D

Railtek

Dee, you mentioned " adult things" , that's the short point of the story, iam not where I should be due to drinking.

When I drink the front of my head hurts, definitely gotta be a correlation. I didn't write the topic because iam sick of running through it over and over and at the same time the first post would be a book.

theVman31

Hi,
How you doing today Railtek ?

HeadEast

You lost me at going to the gym at 11PM. Keep going.

Railtek

HI theVman.

On to 4th sober day. Doing alright, life is life.

Waking up with first thoughts being " 2 fkn years .."

I got alot of work to do.

theVman31

“The man who moved a mountain was the one who began carrying away small stones.” The trick with very ambitious goals.... is to take things in small steps much like carrying away those small stones a bit at a time.

DriGuy

You can learn to make some emotional set backs go away, but the big ones will never just evaporate. Sometimes you will be sad or angry. This is because it's what humans experience.

Many people say they drink to make these things go away, and I will accept that it may be true for them, but I know that in my case, drinking always made my anger or my sadness worse. It made nothing go away. I just experienced everything in a foggy swirl, with no actual relief.

I don't know what all emotionally mature people do to handle these feelings, but I don't think getting drunk is what they do. People who get drunk, are probably just run of the mill alcoholics in various stages of addiction who are looking for reasons to drink more. Drinking doesn't remove their problems. It does get rid of their cravings. Beyond that, they just remain drunks.