faith823

I hit ROCK bottom. I will spare the details but in a matter of eight days I was able to lose another job, end up in the hospital 3 times, crash in all different places outside parking lots and train stations seem to be a favorite of mine...(even though I had my own safe nice apartment) I had to give up my apartment although I still owe 5 grand to finish off the lease with no job. So it will be vacant until the rest of the year my parents are taking me in and taking me to a meeting every day.
My BFF/EX will not speak with me. I have to move on. I hurt him
terribly actually there is not one single person in my life that I have
not hurt terribly. I can not even take the verbal bashing of the consequences of my actions from him. I am to vulnerable and sensitive. I need to love myself however much of a loser I feel to be at the moment.

*BUT* I feel better only because I am alcohol free. I have hope this time. One day at a time. I found a really awesome meeting with caring people and I have heard stories of people that never gave up and now have solid sobriety.

The title of my post is in regards to a woman who raised her hand and when she started the sentence "we all have our....."my mind automatically finished the sentence with drunken stories.
It kind of struck me (and only me) odd when she said "sobriety stories"

I don't know if this makes sense.. but it gave me such a sense of hope. I am finally willing to go to ANY lengths to get Sober.
I can not wait to join the November class. I am keeping this a day at a time. I am putting myself and sobriety first. I will utilize this support board. It has helped me very much when I use it but then I disappear.

I root for everyone I am devastated if someone relapses. I know exactly how it feels. Going to start rooting for myself.

Thank you for all the support
Faith

doggonecarl

What an encouraging post. I wish you the best--the gift of sobriety.

gypsytears

I’m glad you made it back. You have your parents support and it sounds like you have a positive outlook & plan. No doubt your username has a place in your recovery. Best wishes.

HeadEast

Very encouraging post. Keep going!

faith823

Thank you guys! I am crying from the support. Emotional. I purposely did not put mascara on since I have been Sober. To much crying. I also do not even think about mascara during a bender so this is progress all ready. Sorry needed a bit of humor.
I am so grateful for my parents right now. They want me with them Not alone. My Mom also drives me to the meeting every day for support and reads her book in the car while I attend. So grateful but my life is an absolute disaster at the moment.
*BUT* I am alcohol free and this clears my psyche to rely on my HP/Universe to manage my life to unfold for what is naturally meant to be.


thanks

Dee74

welcome back Faith

D

snitch

You sound alot like me and where I was 18 months ago. I certainly hit my rock bottom. With a thud.... a 10 day day binge during which bad things happened. Like me though you are lucky and blessed to have made it out alive and given a 2nd chance at this thing called life. I got myself to meetings, stayed close to SR. Both have been instrumental in my recovery. I havent had a drink in 18 months and everything is 100 times better.

So glad you are here.

🙏❤🙏❤

silentrun

You sound like you have been through a lot. I'm glad you've survived long enough to start taking care of you.

I heard a good quote in my other recovery group:

You are under no obligation to be the same person you were a year, month, or even 15 minutes ago. You have the right to grow. No apologies.

Tetrax

Sorry for your rock bottom but glad to hear you're sober and with a good attitude to move past all this madness that sounds familiar enough.

faith823

I am so glad I am here too! It feels so good to be detoxed and taking care of myself. 18 months is awesome. You inspire me!
Keep going you are going to help/inspire alot of alcoholics. I should be dead 10X over. Time for me to get well and start living for a purpose.

Hevyn

We're so glad to have you here, faith. You sound ready.

faith823

Thank you Hevyn!!! Love your tag line. Thankfully I heard that barely audible whisper of my soul.


Crying again!

Anna

Welcome back, Faith! I'm glad you're ready to do this.

Misssy2

The gift of you recognizing that although you lost a lot in 8 days....you are appreciating life without alcohol....It is HUGE that you are wanting now to fight for your sobriety....rather than "needing" to be sober....for some external reason.

You sound really good....Your story has HOPE..it sounds like you are "blessed"....

DontRemember

Smart lady who said "sobriety stories".. I had plenty of 'drunken/party stories,but so does everyone else who's sitting beside me in a recovery meeting. Sobriety stories are what matters. As for the $5k.. don't worry about that right now..make payments when you can and it'll fall off your credit in no time. Focus on your recovery.

faith823

Thank you Don't Remember!

brighterday1234