20 days lurker, first time poster
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2
20 days lurker, first time poster
It all started out in high school. Even though I had an alcoholic dad at home, I thought some drinking here and there with my mates would not develop into a problem.
Moving from high school to college, drinking became a more recurring event in my life, but still, I was not the mean drunk my dad was, it was college, everyone was doing it, so it must have been ok.
After college drinking was usually reserved for weekends when we would go out. Hey, everyone was doing that so it must be ok.
Then, after a while it became a daily habit. No hard liquors like my dad, just 3 beers every day with a few binges every month, surely that must be ok.
After a lot of years I started to wonder if I do have a problem with all this regular drinking. So I started doing one month off alcohol every year. In that month I would lose weight, exercise like crazy, and feel almost no withdrawal effects. So I must have been ok, right?
Now, I am getting close to my birthday which also marks a certain stepping stone of adulthood and I have to admit that I do have a problem. The daily beers are between 3-5, and every week or so I would get into a bigger binge. This has got to stop.
I am not sure by what lucky twist of fate I still don't have a lot of withdrawal side effects.
The first few days were upsetting, I can definitely feel a shorter fuse due to anxiety from time to time, but I know that I am luckier than some of you who are a real inspiration for me.
I am now in my 20th day of sobriety with quite a few obstacles coming in the future (my birthday soon, then a vacation, then the first holidays AF).
Thank you for existing and keeping up the fight.
Moving from high school to college, drinking became a more recurring event in my life, but still, I was not the mean drunk my dad was, it was college, everyone was doing it, so it must have been ok.
After college drinking was usually reserved for weekends when we would go out. Hey, everyone was doing that so it must be ok.
Then, after a while it became a daily habit. No hard liquors like my dad, just 3 beers every day with a few binges every month, surely that must be ok.
After a lot of years I started to wonder if I do have a problem with all this regular drinking. So I started doing one month off alcohol every year. In that month I would lose weight, exercise like crazy, and feel almost no withdrawal effects. So I must have been ok, right?
Now, I am getting close to my birthday which also marks a certain stepping stone of adulthood and I have to admit that I do have a problem. The daily beers are between 3-5, and every week or so I would get into a bigger binge. This has got to stop.
I am not sure by what lucky twist of fate I still don't have a lot of withdrawal side effects.
The first few days were upsetting, I can definitely feel a shorter fuse due to anxiety from time to time, but I know that I am luckier than some of you who are a real inspiration for me.
I am now in my 20th day of sobriety with quite a few obstacles coming in the future (my birthday soon, then a vacation, then the first holidays AF).
Thank you for existing and keeping up the fight.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
welcome TheBeerdedGuy 
Most of us men have trouble envisaging a life without alcohol in it, but it is possible and its a good life.
I had to change my ideas about fun, and I had to change a lot of my social circle (heavy drinkers like me liked to surround themselves with other heavy drinking so they can slip under the radar) but I regret nothing.
My sober life is fantastic - I have a better social life than ever and I've become reacquainted with the real me, not the drink addled version.
My friends family and loved ones love the real me too.
The smart money is on continuing on the road you've started - you'll find a lot of support here
D
Most of us men have trouble envisaging a life without alcohol in it, but it is possible and its a good life.
I had to change my ideas about fun, and I had to change a lot of my social circle (heavy drinkers like me liked to surround themselves with other heavy drinking so they can slip under the radar) but I regret nothing.
My sober life is fantastic - I have a better social life than ever and I've become reacquainted with the real me, not the drink addled version.
My friends family and loved ones love the real me too.
The smart money is on continuing on the road you've started - you'll find a lot of support here
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
Can really relate, my progression was similiar. You definitely have a great asset here. There are a lot of other great tools out there in recovery too, that can really help. As for those events coming up, just try to manage with what you feel.comfortable with. My first year of sobriety I either did something simple like a nice dinner. Sometimes I just treated it like a normal day and chose not to participate in the event. People around me were understanding, and just happy to see me in recovery and happy.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Yep, that sounds like the way it went for me. It all must have been OK, until it wasn't OK. We did not plan to be alcoholics, we just assumed we were OK, but then we start to wonder, and then we start to suffer, and then we start trying to control our drinking, and now here we are asking why were we chosen to become alcoholics? How did we miss all the signs?
Now this is the part where I'm supposed to add, "But there is hope." The problem is that I don't hold the concept of hope in high regard. Hope is just a way of wanting something without taking action to get it.
But I will add this. You don't have to hope. You can take the bull by the horns and change. That is what most here have done, even those of us that started with nothing more than hope. We changed our behavior because as alcoholics, we had spent much of our lives hoping that we could keep drinking and recreate the old days when it seemed like it was OK. We had to adapt to the reality that alcoholics don't and can't drink like everyone else. We must abstain.
Boo hoo. Poor us, right? Not quite. Sobriety turns out not to be a sacrifice, but an achievement that brings us great satisfaction. It's a contentment that even some normies aren't able to achieve. Don't get me wrong. We are no better than normies. We have no exceptional advantage as alcoholics. We just had to find a way to live that brings us joy. And that's pretty much what everyone else has to do too.
Now this is the part where I'm supposed to add, "But there is hope." The problem is that I don't hold the concept of hope in high regard. Hope is just a way of wanting something without taking action to get it.
But I will add this. You don't have to hope. You can take the bull by the horns and change. That is what most here have done, even those of us that started with nothing more than hope. We changed our behavior because as alcoholics, we had spent much of our lives hoping that we could keep drinking and recreate the old days when it seemed like it was OK. We had to adapt to the reality that alcoholics don't and can't drink like everyone else. We must abstain.
Boo hoo. Poor us, right? Not quite. Sobriety turns out not to be a sacrifice, but an achievement that brings us great satisfaction. It's a contentment that even some normies aren't able to achieve. Don't get me wrong. We are no better than normies. We have no exceptional advantage as alcoholics. We just had to find a way to live that brings us joy. And that's pretty much what everyone else has to do too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Welcome TheBeeredGuy and congrats on the 20 days!
Initially for me, not drinking was a fight without a doubt; but the good news is that it is no longer a fight. Now it is a relief! How great it is to not have to drink. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not drinking. What a concept! Glad you are here.
Originally Posted by TheBeerdedGuy 
Thank you for existing and keeping up the fight.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Welcome to SR!
Your downward slope into daily drinking sounds a lot like mine. I did the 3 - 5 beers (or equivalent) a night for a many years, with a usual blow out on one of the weekend nights.
Eventually, the mornings after started to get uncomfortable and before long I was drinking a beer or two in the morning before work, to get back to "normal". That was the beginning of the end for me. Thankfully I survived that madness, and will be approaching a decade of sobriety in a few months.
Your downward slope into daily drinking sounds a lot like mine. I did the 3 - 5 beers (or equivalent) a night for a many years, with a usual blow out on one of the weekend nights.
Eventually, the mornings after started to get uncomfortable and before long I was drinking a beer or two in the morning before work, to get back to "normal". That was the beginning of the end for me. Thankfully I survived that madness, and will be approaching a decade of sobriety in a few months.
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