Strugglingto

I relapsed in January after my girlfriend left me. I had been reasonably stable up to that point. But she left and immediately blocked me from all contact because she met another guy.
We had a cat together and she left the cat with me. The cat waits every day and is glued to my side and actually it becomes really annoying having this ginger brick beside you constantly. I get angry and kick him off my bed. It is relentless annoyance from an animal who doesn't understand I want some space. I know he has abandonment issues but I have my stuff including my addiction and I don't see it as loving it just p*sses me off. I want a break from it. Kids you can send to their room. But this cat is with me when I shower. When I sleep and I can't sleep with this massive feline lump on top of my bed

least

Don't blame the cat. It's just looking for affection.

BeABetterMan

AnvilheadII

the CAT is a trigger? if you cannot or will not give the helpless animal any of your time and attention, perhaps it would be best given to a no kill shelter? it doesn't deserve to be abused because you are in a foul mood.

babycat

Jj2518

Hope1989

Okay, I love animals and this post is very disturbing but I'll try to leave my feelings aside.

I guess we are all different, so I suppose we who love animals might feel touched by this. However, if he is your trigger, try to find a solution. Maybe try to give him away to a shelter or some friend, and both of you will be better off.

Houstin

Periodically through my life I have had animals (cats/dogs) act this way.

The thing is they know how much you are hurting and in there funny way they try and give you everything they know you are missing...

It might not make much sense now but if you go on to meet somebody else watch the cat go back to how it was before!

It's trying to be there for you, they sense things we could never imagine..
Bottom line is the cat is not out to annoy you, it is there for you, try and cut it some flack, it wont understand you want to be left alone, quite the opposite in fact.

Strugglingto

There is no abuse. I just find it difficult

Strugglingto

He is finding it more difficult than me. But it is difficult to be not left for even 20 minutes. I relapsed I am in withdrawal. I have to move the cat constantly to deal with myself. He is well cared for but it is difficult

Strugglingto

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I am day one again. I love him dearly. But he is very needy and follows me everywhere. I mean everywhere. And I find it too much when I don't feel good

Strugglingto

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i know. He understands I am sick. He doesn't understand why but in the depths of withdrawal for me at least it is not what I need. I actually need to feel like death by myself. And can't stand to even be touched. The withdrawal stuff and skin crawling anxiety is enough. We hurt the ones we love. But I find him difficult when he is still pining for his co-parent

Strugglingto

​​​​​ I know and the trigger for me is a constant reminder that the cat misses her. But I can't fix it. And it is painful to watch

Strugglingto

I do, he is a beautiful cat. But when you feel like this even 20 minutes away from him would be appreciated.

nez

I can relate, oh how I can relate!

Sometimes when I get like that the universe conspires to protect me from myself because it knows I can be my own worst enemy especially if left to my own devices and head.

Maybe the cat is there to get you out of your own head so you don't listen to the voices of your addiction.

I had a friend in early recovery who was getting squirrely at one point and he picked up the phone to call a friend for support. During the coversation it came out that he was at home alone. The friend screamed "Get out of the house now. You are in their with a killer!"

When I start to get that need space mentality, I really do some serious reflection on why I am reacting that way. Sometimes it turns out to be valid, but a lot of time it turns out that I am upset because I am not getting what I want.

Years of getting what I wanted, qualified me for my seat at this keyboard. Today I focus more on getting what I need, even if it doesn't necessarily match up with what I want because WTH do I know anyway. Iwound up here! wihch is not what I wanted; but it sure is what I needed.

Strugglingto

1. The issue is he waits for someone who is gone and I mean at the window every night at the same time like clockwork. He has been my rock many times and saved me in a way but when I do this to myself. I just need space. I should not have said anything. I have a grieving cat and he shadows me everywhere. I am day one yet again and I feel vile. And my skin crawls I find it difficult to have him in my pocket

Strugglingto

I was just saying. I relapsed AGAIN. This time it not so difficult physically. It was a brief relapse. This time it is difficult mentally. And I do have a damaged cat. Almost nine months of damaged cat. And I have done everything to protect him. But he is not getting better. I can accept my relationship ended. It was actually the worst thing that could happen. I miss my ex desperately. But this cat can be overbearing. Maybe I should get a baby carrier because that is what it is like. I don't need to be told I am not a good parent to my cat. I didn't even think it was possible for a cat to grieve for so long, but it is real. Whenever I leave home he sits in the window. I have had complaints from neighbors he meows the whole time I am out. And he is glued to me. It is a little much. He has toys and it is like Toy Story. I leave and they are at the door when I come back. I have never seen him move them. I miss my girlfriend very much. This is a whole other level.

Strugglingto

I apologise for this thread. I thought I could talk. This cat will not move on. And I don't know what to do. And I am not even sure he can anywhere else. Because almost nine months. I

Dee74

No need to apologise for the thread.

I remember I was once left with a cat too, and every time I saw the cat I'd be reminded of what I'd lost.

Eventually the cat went back to its rightful owner.

Its not the cats fault tho.

I'm not really sure of the emotional situation but if it makes you unhappy, or you're not giving it the love it needs, it's ok to rehouse Kitty.


If you want to keep the cat, tho, you're going to have to face what is the real trigger here - an inability to move on from the past and your breakup, and deal with the consequences of your addiction.

The only way to do that is to stop feeding the addiction, man.

The cats an innocent party in all of that

glad you got the avatar sorted tho

D

Strugglingto

The voice of wisdom as usual. It is day one for me AGAIN and I just can't deal with a clingy cat today. I know he is actually trying to help or be loving. But sitting and sleeping beside me or sitting while i shower is not what I need today.

I know one thing when I am in withdrawal (and I am so ashamed to make that sound regular) is I can't stand to be touched. Everything feels horrible when you are feeling your skin crawl and he is totally clingy. Likes to put himself to sleep on my left side. l It is maybe just me but I can't handle it. I was simply trying to talk about it. I don't feel very lucid. I couldn't even use this site earlier.

And letting go of the past is an issue. I am in an apartment we shared. Artur the cat was shared. And he is scared I think. I adore him but in this instance it is too much attention. I am not sure what to do. And his constant crying is a trigger for me. I want to let go of the past and the cat seems to not be able to do that. And I can't actually comprehend it because no cat I ever had before was so like this