Strugglingto

I don't think I titled it correctly. And I was not begging a response. I was in full day one withdrawal yet again. I can barely stand to hold my phone in that stage. Everything makes my skin crawl. Y'know they say cats are the most popular thing on the internet. I was merely expressing how I feel. I am not in violent withdrawal. I have had much worse but I can only deal with him in short bursts. Not glued to me like I am some interspecies conjoined twin

FreshStartOk

You do know the more you ignore cats, the more eager they are to get close to you for some weird reason? If you petted it more it might leave you alone ironically.

Strugglingto

I didn't title it right in my withdrawal state. Withdrawal scares the sh*t our of me. Because it can be the sickest you have ever been in your life and all the text book symptoms appear. This time it is just a slow burn and I brace for it to get worse. I am not violently sick. I feel heavy. Like all my limbs weigh a lot. And I can't stand to be touched. My legs touching each other knee to knee is uncomfortable when I lie down.

And I can't deal with a cat who went into what I call "mister cuddles" mode. Because it feels like unwanted contact. Like if someone groped you. I live in a country which is Russian/Ukrainian speaking, my Russian is passable but not good enough to express how I feel at a deep level. So I came here. Is this not what this site is for? I don't have an alternative outlet there are meetings. But when you don't comprehend the language at the visceral level you need to get support and explain how you feel I came back here. I don't deserve criticism for saying my cat is annoying me

MyLittleHorsie

I only found out back in University, my gf's cat died like right in front of us. The vet told her he had crystals, he was crying, that was about it. I have one cat in the house, and a couple barn cats. I am not big on them, I usually call a rescue who comes and traps any strays - too big a disease risk to my other animals and the kids who take lessons and participate in the therapeutic programs. People drop off animals a lot. I can always tell the city kids from the farm kids, city kid, aw, look at the kitty, dog, bunny, are you going to keep it? Big pleading eyes. Farm kid, are you going to shoot it? Little joke for a heavy thread.

Strugglingto

I grew up on a big farm in New Zealand. We call them estates, in the US I guess you'd say ranch. Had every pet you can imagine, including an owl. This cat is the clingiest animal I have ever encountered. And he doesn't help me much. I relapsed. I am not in a serious condition, I can clean up after him, like his litter without vomiting. I can eat but...

AnvilheadII

And he doesn't help me much. I relapsed.

was he supposed to swat the drinks out of your hand?

Strugglingto

I don't mind being challenged. Of course not. It was for entirely different reasons. It was brief and now doing the withdrawal thing. My point is it is difficult with this animal glued to me. Am I not supposed to look for support here?

FreshStartOk

It's not easy with cats because they aren't that responsive to training, and I know of two who never got over the trauma of being starved - they always meowed for food. I suspect they may have been brain damaged by it though.

Your cat sounds traumatized, and is horribly anxious about losing you. If you're going to keep it, I do think you'd get more peace by giving it attention for a certain amount of time every day.

A parrot, not mine initially, took to me and it was like having a baby for 4 years, so I know what you mean. Like literally screamed the house down if I left the room. Only got any peace when it went to sleep at nine pm! Still, it actually gave me stability cause I couldn't be totally drunk, and couldn't do anything but love it.

SoberCAH

I'm very sorry you're struggling getting separated from alcohol.

Most of us have been there before.

I am also sorry about your break-up.

I understand that the cat seems like a rock around your neck.

If you can get through withdrawals, I suspect the answer about what to do about it will come to you.

I hope you can get through withdrawals and that you then work on pursuing a plan or program of recovery so you never have to go through this again.

Many of us love animals very, very much.

I have always thought that children who grow up in alcoholic homes or in homes with other mental health issues or violence tend to love animals more than the rest of society.

It's certainly the case with me - we have cats, dogs (only 1 now, but more to come), donkeys and cattle (including 6 or 7 pet head of cattle).

We, mercifully, have no children.

My wife and I worry ourselves sick over our animals.

Glad you're here.

Keep up the good work on getting detoxed and sober.

Strugglingto

I think the issue with mine primarily is he was too young to be weaned. I found him on the street in snow. He climbed up my leg. But he fitted in my breast pocket he was so small. I looked for another cat and the rest of the litter. Nothing. He was desperate. It was outside a tire, brakes, and wheel alignment depo no housing nowhere to go, so I brought him into a home with two people. Fed him porridge, cottage cheese and milk with an eyedropper. And now there is only me. His other parent is gone. It is that that bothers him and for an alcoholic who was dealing with a break up it is very difficult. Maybe he was trying to say something when I did a binge. But I stopped and now need him to leave me alone at leave me to go through detox cr*p again with a little space

MyLittleHorsie

We have rover.com they are an app to find boarding/sitting/walking. Our vet boards. Maybe just for the acute phase, the cat goes somewhere else. Just for a few days. If you don't want to rehome permanently you could get some space, then contact a behaviorist or a communicator or even just a rescue who can help in person.

When we moved the dogs and cat went to the vet for a few days. I picked them up when the fence was up The cat hated it, the dogs don't care.

An owl, that is flippin cool!

CupofJoe

Sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope this is the last time you have to go through withdrawals.

I also had a cat that had been weaned from his mother too young. I loved that cat deeply, but sometimes he needed too much attention from me, too. That didn't mean I didn't love him or didn't take care of him--it just meant that sometimes he was a lot to handle! I really miss him, though. He's been gone for a few years. Being annoyed by a pet (even one that you love), especially while going through withdrawals, sounds normal to me. I was annoyed by much less! It sounds like you're taking good care of him and that's what matters. I hope things sort themselves out. Maybe you'll feel better in a couple of days and I hope you'll be able to enjoy his company.

I've also lived abroad and remember what it was like to not have people to talk to. It could get really lonely in a way that's hard to describe. Being removed from your culture and language (even if you love the experience) can take its toll. Add alcohol to the mix and it's even worse.

Wishing you all the best. все лучшее для вас!

Strugglingto

The owl was amazing. If any of the cats we had at that time went near him he screamed and the cats were terrified. And they were outdoor cats so were catching "lessor" birds. He was called Hootie. I had many pet lambs, my favorite was called Sheep. A pony, an ex race horse, dogs, claves etc. Cats are not really my thing. BUT I DO NOT hate this cat or want to dump him. I was venting because I was finding him difficult after the binge. And in a haze.

However, I kind of regret this post because I have have some harsh comments. It might seem trivial to some people. I lost my relationship and my job in quick succession. Those are bigger things. It is simply this is difficult here and now

FreshStartOk

I wouldn't worry, you just worded it a bit wrong for people who would rather sell their relatives than inconvenience their pets Steady meals and a safe environment and you're a better pet owner than some I've known.

Strugglingto

I know I worded it wrong. I was hours out of a binge. I will say this though. Everyone here has been there and the whole point is support right? I has seen many threads/posts that are less than eloquent. I feel empathy.

MyLittleHorsie

Hard words aside, I am really glad you started the thread. I don't participate a whole lot, but I keep checking on you today. So thank you. It's been awesome getting to know you, I learn new things every day, this thread has been really interesting and informative. You are a really interesting person. I wish you success in your recovery. I smiled when I read the owl was called Hooty

Misssy2

Bring the cat to a shelter...You will both be "happier".
Keep it simple...and take care of you only!

Obladi

It's been hard for me to handle harsh comments too, Struggling. I'm better at it now, but I've been here a really long time. Yet I'm still learning. Yes, this place is meant to support you and you should take full advantage. You can use the "ignore" feature if you find certain individuals are really getting under your skin.

My suggestion is to focus on the responses that are helpful to you in getting through this crap time. Try to avoid resentment and victimhood; those create fertile ground for the addiction to grow more roots. You deserve a chair here as much as any of us other drunks. Believe it.

O

August252015

I'm really at a loss with the whole cat thing. I home in on the parts about the drinking, quitting, etc.

What can you do TODAY to be sober? What can you do IRL to make it about you and what you need (not the cat) to start permanent sobriety?

Strugglingto

The cat is a reminder of my ex and the cat pines for her as much as I do. Today I plan to stay at home. Self-imposed imprisonment