Difference between admitting and accepting
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Hope
no judging here - bus as I said to someone else today you'll never find change by doing the same old things.
Admitting my problem was one thing - accepting the effort, the short term pain (and the self denial and discipline) necessary to stay sober was another thing.
I didn;t have much will - I thought I was very weak - but I kept asking for help and idea s and this community never let me down...and slwoly the real me came back.
You deserve to give the real you that chance too, Hope - whether it's here, or AA or another meeting based group, or some kind of rehab or counselling, or a mix...if you really cannot stand to feel this way ever again, leave no stone unturned and you'll get your wish
D
no judging here - bus as I said to someone else today you'll never find change by doing the same old things.
Admitting my problem was one thing - accepting the effort, the short term pain (and the self denial and discipline) necessary to stay sober was another thing.
I didn;t have much will - I thought I was very weak - but I kept asking for help and idea s and this community never let me down...and slwoly the real me came back.
You deserve to give the real you that chance too, Hope - whether it's here, or AA or another meeting based group, or some kind of rehab or counselling, or a mix...if you really cannot stand to feel this way ever again, leave no stone unturned and you'll get your wish
D
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Hope1989 
Hello everyone.
Without further due, I drank again. I would not call this a relapse because I have never been truly sober for more than a month or two, and/or work any program whatsoever.
I will not bore you guys with the same rhetoric I always do, as most of you are probably familiar with the anxiety, depression, and self loath which I currently am.
Yesterday, while I was lying in my bed after a terrible binge in Friday (same old consequences as always), I started to reflect in how I always tell people that I know that I am an alcoholic, and have known since I was very young. This is true. I admit it.
However, I also start thinking that I was dead wrong in something: I have not accepted it. If I had accepted it, I would have stuck into a program, get into therapy and all the other tools I could have at my disposal.
The real question is how do I get to accept it myself? I mean, I know I have it but I need inside me to understand and accept that I have a problem.
I am running of patience, strength and quite frankly people. I think even people in AA or even here do not believe in me anymore. It is quite heartbreaking, to be honest. I am so lucky my family is behind me, they will support me until death, but this is clearly not the idea.
Today, I wanted to go to an AA meeting, which God knows I need it, and they scheduled a work meeting a 19:00. And I can't really say no, because my job is one of the few things that I got left.
Anyway, I was sort of scared of posting (As going to work and AA), because I know that I will be judged. And I understand, is not people being bad, is just the nature of us human beings,
I wish you all a wonderful Tuesday,
Hope
Without further due, I drank again. I would not call this a relapse because I have never been truly sober for more than a month or two, and/or work any program whatsoever.
I will not bore you guys with the same rhetoric I always do, as most of you are probably familiar with the anxiety, depression, and self loath which I currently am.
Yesterday, while I was lying in my bed after a terrible binge in Friday (same old consequences as always), I started to reflect in how I always tell people that I know that I am an alcoholic, and have known since I was very young. This is true. I admit it.
However, I also start thinking that I was dead wrong in something: I have not accepted it. If I had accepted it, I would have stuck into a program, get into therapy and all the other tools I could have at my disposal.
The real question is how do I get to accept it myself? I mean, I know I have it but I need inside me to understand and accept that I have a problem.
I am running of patience, strength and quite frankly people. I think even people in AA or even here do not believe in me anymore. It is quite heartbreaking, to be honest. I am so lucky my family is behind me, they will support me until death, but this is clearly not the idea.
Today, I wanted to go to an AA meeting, which God knows I need it, and they scheduled a work meeting a 19:00. And I can't really say no, because my job is one of the few things that I got left.
Anyway, I was sort of scared of posting (As going to work and AA), because I know that I will be judged. And I understand, is not people being bad, is just the nature of us human beings,
I wish you all a wonderful Tuesday,
Hope
My experience suggests when I had admittance of the problem, and began taking action on the solution, I was evidently accepting the situation.
What it took is what I have heard described as a first step experience. A realisation that, left to my own devices I was doomed. Regardless of the most powerful desire, the most genuine of intentions, the firmest decisions never to drink again, it was inevitable as night follows day that I would always drink again. I lacked the power to make the required changes. I could not protect myself from the fatal first drink, and the more I tried the closer I got to death.
From that realisation, and a little bit of information from AA, that it would show me how to connect with a Power that would solve this problem, came the willingness to do whatever was required to get hooked up with that Power. I didn't argue or challenge, I just followed suggestions as they became apparent to me even if I did not at the time, see the point or understand the "why".
I took the action, experienced the result, and then came to know the why. I suppose it took a certain faith to do that, but then, what was the alternative?
Perhaps when you honestly assess your situation, you might come to a similar realisation. All the best.
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