Clarification of "sober"?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
Clarification of "sober"?
I've been reading many threads here of people whp have quit alcohol and have been successful in doing so.
I guess my question is have they done it without switching it out for say medications or something else to "fill the void".
I know I could quit alcohol but not without switching out for something else because I have no one to depend on now but me.
Idk, seems hopeless.
The raw emotions even after I get through a detox period coupled with the lack of family or support is causing me to just want to be free of this life.
I used to know a woman casually who touted the benefits of AA and how "sober" she was to anyone who would listen and we would just roll our eyes at her because we all knew she was on pain pills and sleep meds and smoked pot.
Not sure if this is "sober"
I guess my question is have they done it without switching it out for say medications or something else to "fill the void".
I know I could quit alcohol but not without switching out for something else because I have no one to depend on now but me.
Idk, seems hopeless.
The raw emotions even after I get through a detox period coupled with the lack of family or support is causing me to just want to be free of this life.
I used to know a woman casually who touted the benefits of AA and how "sober" she was to anyone who would listen and we would just roll our eyes at her because we all knew she was on pain pills and sleep meds and smoked pot.
Not sure if this is "sober"
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm on a lot of medications, but none of them are to 'fill a void' they;re to make my quality of life the same as everyone elses.
I stopped trying to fill the void in me and worked instead on healing it.
Much better
The great lie we tell ourselves is we need something to make us feel better, take the edge off or whatever.
I was so much more capable and stronger than I ever knew - but I had to get sober first to find that out.
the good news is you'll find a lot of support here.
D
I stopped trying to fill the void in me and worked instead on healing it.
Much better
The great lie we tell ourselves is we need something to make us feel better, take the edge off or whatever.
I was so much more capable and stronger than I ever knew - but I had to get sober first to find that out.
the good news is you'll find a lot of support here.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 188
I'm on anti-depresents, namely citalopram. Above and beyond drinking, I find life unbearably taxing, I guess I'm too sensitive. It works for me, it doesn't work for everyone and it only suppresses emotions in my experience. There are different medications.
I don't know how it works in the US, unfortunately you might have to pay for it.
I don't know how it works in the US, unfortunately you might have to pay for it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
When I quit drinking I wanted to be sober not just not drinking. So I also quit marijuana, which I only used once or twice a month anyway. I also did not want to use any prescription drugs. I looked into an outpatient program but it was heavily drug based and that was not for me. I knew I would not have withdrawal though so that was a personal decision that would not be for everybody.
that being said, I do have a sweet tooth. I had a sweet before I quit drinking but my sugar intake went way up after quiting. It did not help that I quit 11 days before Halloween so there was a ton of candy around. After about a month my sugar intake reduced to what it was before I quit drinking, which is still way to much. Being sober though, I have picked up running which helps a bit. At some point though I will need to get more serious about significantly reducing how much sugar I eat
that being said, I do have a sweet tooth. I had a sweet before I quit drinking but my sugar intake went way up after quiting. It did not help that I quit 11 days before Halloween so there was a ton of candy around. After about a month my sugar intake reduced to what it was before I quit drinking, which is still way to much. Being sober though, I have picked up running which helps a bit. At some point though I will need to get more serious about significantly reducing how much sugar I eat
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
I didn't substitute anything for alcohol when I quit drinking. I've been taking antidepressants for a long time but they didn't help much while I was drinking. The antiD's are to 'level the playing field' for me. As Dee said, to improve my quality of life.
As far as someone being sober from alcohol but not pot, well, that's a whole different thing. Maybe she doesn't have a problem with pot like with alcohol.
As far as someone being sober from alcohol but not pot, well, that's a whole different thing. Maybe she doesn't have a problem with pot like with alcohol.
and Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by least 
I didn't substitute anything for alcohol when I quit drinking. I've been taking antidepressants for a long time but they didn't help much while I was drinking. The antiD's are to 'level the playing field' for me. As Dee said, to improve my quality of life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
If a mind altering substance or medication isn’t absolutely necessary then I don’t believe you should be taking it. We weren’t built to run that way.
That’s my definition of sobriety
That’s my definition of sobriety
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
I have medication I take occasionally for anxiety, and I also take medication at night to prevent migraines. I also take a daily medication that helps to increase my blood pressure, and lower my heart rate.
My opinion is if medication is prescribed and you’re using it as it’s meant to be used you are only doing what is needed for your body to remain healthy mentally/phsycally.
My opinion is if medication is prescribed and you’re using it as it’s meant to be used you are only doing what is needed for your body to remain healthy mentally/phsycally.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by Snowydelrico
If a mind altering substance or medication isn’t absolutely necessary then I don’t believe you should be taking it. We weren’t built to run that way.
That’s my definition of sobriety
That’s my definition of sobriety
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,060
SUGAR has become my drug of choice or compulsion. I started using it to help with relentless cravings. It was a slow burn but now I know I am addicted to it. Have to have it. A cross over addiction from alcohol that now needs some serious attention.
Worry is if I stop sugar, (can't moderate) will I replace that with something else? A void that needs filling, a need for comfort, treat or reward. Messed up addictive thinking.
All said and done my addiction to alcohol was way out of control, all day everyday drinking of ridiculous amounts. I thought I would never be able to stop. I did and I am proud of that.
Worry is if I stop sugar, (can't moderate) will I replace that with something else? A void that needs filling, a need for comfort, treat or reward. Messed up addictive thinking.
All said and done my addiction to alcohol was way out of control, all day everyday drinking of ridiculous amounts. I thought I would never be able to stop. I did and I am proud of that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
I take anti-anxiety meds (not that they've worked because of the amount of alcohol I've taken with them)….
I started drinking because of the crippling health anxiety that I have. I'd rather be on my meds than drinking my bottle or 2 of red every night....
I know though that some say that "sober" is being off everything.....and that's ok.
Right now, I'm happy to be off the booze ……
xxx
I started drinking because of the crippling health anxiety that I have. I'd rather be on my meds than drinking my bottle or 2 of red every night....
I know though that some say that "sober" is being off everything.....and that's ok.
Right now, I'm happy to be off the booze ……
xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by ShiftHappens
I guess my question is have they done it without switching it out for say medications or something else to "fill the void".
I know I could quit alcohol but not without switching out for something else because I have no one to depend on now but me.
Idk, seems hopeless.
no one to depend on is an excuse. youre the most important person in all this and thats enough reason(not an excuse) to get clean and sober.
the most important decision i ever made was to stop drinking and all other mind/mood altering substances and get help to learn what was going on internally.
im free today. i love the internal peace. no more drama and chaos in my head.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
What works for me to remain sober is incorporating
a program of recovery on a continuous bases using
it as a guideline for living sober to achieve many of
lifes rewarding gifts.
Along with that, I also rely on my faith, education
and upbringing for emotional, spiritual strength.
Add that to my passion for gardening, birds, flowers
to help balance out the days work as I continue to
travel this road of recovery and journey in life
free from addiction.
a program of recovery on a continuous bases using
it as a guideline for living sober to achieve many of
lifes rewarding gifts.
Along with that, I also rely on my faith, education
and upbringing for emotional, spiritual strength.
Add that to my passion for gardening, birds, flowers
to help balance out the days work as I continue to
travel this road of recovery and journey in life
free from addiction.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
What Dee and Delilah said. And for me, pot is a no go. I wouldn't consider myself sober if I started using it. I also don't get calling sugar and caffeine drugs, but to each their own.
I take sleep meds as needed (they are prescribed for nightly use but I don't like the side effects like terrible sweats so I rarely take them), I'm on 2 mental health meds and I have ativan for anxiety. All prescribed and monitored, and I see my psych every 3 mo and we discuss.
If any of those weren't needed, I would not take them.
I take sleep meds as needed (they are prescribed for nightly use but I don't like the side effects like terrible sweats so I rarely take them), I'm on 2 mental health meds and I have ativan for anxiety. All prescribed and monitored, and I see my psych every 3 mo and we discuss.
If any of those weren't needed, I would not take them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I've taken anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds in the past.
I stopped taking all of them a few years before I stopped drinking.
Then when I stopped drinking I had a lot of anxiety and I toyed with the idea of going back on *something.* Thing is, all those pills have side effects of their own and I am not willing to live with those side effects so I had to find other ways to deal with my anxiety and depression such as prayer, meditation, exercise, sufficient sleep, healthy nutrition - which for me is a mostly whole food plan, little caffeine, low sugar.
Years ago I also struggled with food. I'm at a healthy weight, lost about 80 pounds many years ago, but the desire to stuff my emotions with food is still a struggle for me. Can't quit eating, right? I've learned that sugar (or just a lot of carbs) and caffeine give me an elevated mood and that's a problem! If a little is good, then more is the answer, right?
I have zero control over sugar once I start eating it. The same as alcohol.
I understand about "not having anyone." That's fixable. My family is all gone and I broke up with my long-term best friend but there are tons of ways to meet people so I have plenty of interactions.
Stay sober for a while and everything will make a lot more sense and the depression will lift.
I stopped taking all of them a few years before I stopped drinking.
Then when I stopped drinking I had a lot of anxiety and I toyed with the idea of going back on *something.* Thing is, all those pills have side effects of their own and I am not willing to live with those side effects so I had to find other ways to deal with my anxiety and depression such as prayer, meditation, exercise, sufficient sleep, healthy nutrition - which for me is a mostly whole food plan, little caffeine, low sugar.
Years ago I also struggled with food. I'm at a healthy weight, lost about 80 pounds many years ago, but the desire to stuff my emotions with food is still a struggle for me. Can't quit eating, right? I've learned that sugar (or just a lot of carbs) and caffeine give me an elevated mood and that's a problem! If a little is good, then more is the answer, right?
I have zero control over sugar once I start eating it. The same as alcohol.I understand about "not having anyone." That's fixable. My family is all gone and I broke up with my long-term best friend but there are tons of ways to meet people so I have plenty of interactions.
Stay sober for a while and everything will make a lot more sense and the depression will lift.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
"I guess my question is have they done it without switching it out for say medications or something else to "fill the void."
Humans, always seek, "Control." We seek control physically, mentally, emotionally. Addictions are all about control or more specifically regaining control of our emotions. Addictions always serve an emotional purpose.
We always have a binary choice. We can regain control of helpless feelings with displaced substitute behaviors (quick fixes or mood changers of drugs or other behaviors), or direct healthy behaviors that empower us. What humans really seek is a sense of control. We are biologically wired to seek control! What we really seek is not a drink, a drug, porn or a bet, but a sense of empowerment, in the face of feeling helpless. Addicts have learned to regain control of their emotions with a quick fix or mood changer of alcohol, drugs and other compulsive displaced behaviors. Non addicts, empower themselves and regain control of their emotions by facing them directly or replacing them with some other high value behavior.
The best antidote for any hurt, hangup or habit: Is when we choose a high value (Dopaminergic), personal relationship with Jesus Christ, when we replace the rewards of displaced behaviors (addictions) with the rewards of direct Christ Driven Behavior (CDB). Christ Driven Behavior (CDB), is a direct empowering behavior that honors God; a direct way to regain control over helpless, trapped, powerless feelings! When we delegate control to God, He empowers us with a seminal mentor that imparts motivation, conviction, purpose and the fruits of the Holy Spirit called values. Self-control is one of those fruits or values! When we act with direct healthy behavior and not with displaced-indirect behaviors, we exercise self-control. When we empower ourselves with direct healthy behavior, Christ Driven Behavior, that honors God, there is no displaced behavior, there is no addiction. There is a, “New Creation.”
When our values and purpose are Christ Driven Behaviors (CDB) that honors God, there is no addiction.
Humans, always seek, "Control." We seek control physically, mentally, emotionally. Addictions are all about control or more specifically regaining control of our emotions. Addictions always serve an emotional purpose.
We always have a binary choice. We can regain control of helpless feelings with displaced substitute behaviors (quick fixes or mood changers of drugs or other behaviors), or direct healthy behaviors that empower us. What humans really seek is a sense of control. We are biologically wired to seek control! What we really seek is not a drink, a drug, porn or a bet, but a sense of empowerment, in the face of feeling helpless. Addicts have learned to regain control of their emotions with a quick fix or mood changer of alcohol, drugs and other compulsive displaced behaviors. Non addicts, empower themselves and regain control of their emotions by facing them directly or replacing them with some other high value behavior.
The best antidote for any hurt, hangup or habit: Is when we choose a high value (Dopaminergic), personal relationship with Jesus Christ, when we replace the rewards of displaced behaviors (addictions) with the rewards of direct Christ Driven Behavior (CDB). Christ Driven Behavior (CDB), is a direct empowering behavior that honors God; a direct way to regain control over helpless, trapped, powerless feelings! When we delegate control to God, He empowers us with a seminal mentor that imparts motivation, conviction, purpose and the fruits of the Holy Spirit called values. Self-control is one of those fruits or values! When we act with direct healthy behavior and not with displaced-indirect behaviors, we exercise self-control. When we empower ourselves with direct healthy behavior, Christ Driven Behavior, that honors God, there is no displaced behavior, there is no addiction. There is a, “New Creation.”
When our values and purpose are Christ Driven Behaviors (CDB) that honors God, there is no addiction.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Sober to me, means no booze, no pot, no cigarettes, no benzos, no sugar.
Essentially a "boring" life as far as society would like you to believe, but absolutely truly amazing existence.
Essentially a "boring" life as far as society would like you to believe, but absolutely truly amazing existence.
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