Does he really mean it ?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 10
Does he really mean it ?
My husband has been drinking again tonight. I went to bed to avoid being shouted at. I have been doing well recently with looking after myself - lots of exercise , self care , and felt that my mental health has been better. We are due to go on a big holiday this week. And tonight he told me I was selfish and that he was going to leave me to go on my own. I know he doesn’t mean it ( or at least I hope he doesn’t ) but you can’t help but feel devastated. Just needed to rant to people in similar situations xxxx
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
I'm sorry for your situation. I hope your husband makes a decision to seek help for his alcoholism. It's good that you are taking care of yourself. Have you considered AlAnon in your city as a support for you?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 10
Thanks for the lovely messages. He is aware of his problem and this week has started to open up about his feelings which is a major step. But I am also now more aware that I can’t make him stop, and no amount of me pushing will make a difference. I will keep being there to support him, but I was hoping to consider starting a family. So that can’t happen unless things change, which makes me so sad all over again !!!! Xxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
You also can only take one day at a time..after seeing how my kids have turned out due to me having alcoholism...I would suggest not bringing any kids into your lives until you have a long term stable environment...to do so would be selfish.
A serious effort at sobriety in my eyes and I'm the alcoholic...is being sober for a year...at least...that is enough time to be sure there is a good foundation..new better habits...etc.
I don't envy you...Did you know he was an alcoholic when you married him? You may not even still love who he is when he is sober...people change alot when they get sober....there is no way to know with the uncertainty of alcoholism.....
I wish I never had children because of my alcoholism and my X husbands anger issues...my kids never had a chance at a normal life.....
A serious effort at sobriety in my eyes and I'm the alcoholic...is being sober for a year...at least...that is enough time to be sure there is a good foundation..new better habits...etc.
I don't envy you...Did you know he was an alcoholic when you married him? You may not even still love who he is when he is sober...people change alot when they get sober....there is no way to know with the uncertainty of alcoholism.....
I wish I never had children because of my alcoholism and my X husbands anger issues...my kids never had a chance at a normal life.....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Sleeper
Unfortunately none of us can be sure if your husband is serious or not...chances are not tho, I think, just drunk talk.
I hope you'll consider AlAnon or some similar organisation for support.
D
Unfortunately none of us can be sure if your husband is serious or not...chances are not tho, I think, just drunk talk.
I hope you'll consider AlAnon or some similar organisation for support.
D
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