Scared Straight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Denny - Congrats on 8 days. For me, everything felt a little strange in the beginning - I was a bit disoriented. Drinking was part of everything I did for many years. I was so relieved to be free of it though - I quickly adjusted. 
You're doing great.
You're doing great.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,811
First of all, congratulations on your decision. I want to see you keep it going.
Two things - first, you mentioned "functioning." Yeah, I thought I was functioning, too. And I guess technically, I was. Never lost a job, never lost a home, not hurting for money, etc., etc. But was I really? Were you, really? Looking back, I was hanging on by a thread. Barely keeping it all together. Probably one bad blackout from starting to lose a LOT. Like maybe even my life. I function much much better now, like normal people without drinking problems do. How refreshing.
Second - A Plan.
Ya gotta think about this. Lots of things you can do, starting with sticking around here. Look around for the thread that talks about books you can read. It's in the Stickies at the top. In fact, look at all those stickies. Great stuff there.
Face-to-face support isn't necessary for everyone, but it is for most folks. That can be AA, other methods like SMART or Rational Recovery, or just a few sober people to talk to and be accountable to. Sounds like your wife is supportive, and that's fantastic. Might help to find a couple other sober folks to talk to for the times when the going gets tough.
I think really important for you (and really just about everyone) is a plan for what to do about the fact that most, if not all, of your social life revolves around alcohol. Mine did, too. Family and friends pretty much ALL drink, some really heavily. I was so afraid my social life would dry up, and I'd be alone and bored all the time. (I'm divorced with one teenager at home). You at least have more family at home, so you're not alone. But what about the parties and gatherings? What's the plan for letting your friends know you quit? How will you deal with it when everyone is drinking and you aren't? Will you just need to not engage in those activities at all for a while (my advice is just that). These are all things you need to think about. You feel great now, and that's wonderful, but life is life and there will be temptations. It's important for you to get really honest with yourself and those around you. The more of an out-loud commitment you make, the better, IMO.
Wishing you the very best.
Two things - first, you mentioned "functioning." Yeah, I thought I was functioning, too. And I guess technically, I was. Never lost a job, never lost a home, not hurting for money, etc., etc. But was I really? Were you, really? Looking back, I was hanging on by a thread. Barely keeping it all together. Probably one bad blackout from starting to lose a LOT. Like maybe even my life. I function much much better now, like normal people without drinking problems do. How refreshing.
Second - A Plan.
Ya gotta think about this. Lots of things you can do, starting with sticking around here. Look around for the thread that talks about books you can read. It's in the Stickies at the top. In fact, look at all those stickies. Great stuff there.
Face-to-face support isn't necessary for everyone, but it is for most folks. That can be AA, other methods like SMART or Rational Recovery, or just a few sober people to talk to and be accountable to. Sounds like your wife is supportive, and that's fantastic. Might help to find a couple other sober folks to talk to for the times when the going gets tough.
I think really important for you (and really just about everyone) is a plan for what to do about the fact that most, if not all, of your social life revolves around alcohol. Mine did, too. Family and friends pretty much ALL drink, some really heavily. I was so afraid my social life would dry up, and I'd be alone and bored all the time. (I'm divorced with one teenager at home). You at least have more family at home, so you're not alone. But what about the parties and gatherings? What's the plan for letting your friends know you quit? How will you deal with it when everyone is drinking and you aren't? Will you just need to not engage in those activities at all for a while (my advice is just that). These are all things you need to think about. You feel great now, and that's wonderful, but life is life and there will be temptations. It's important for you to get really honest with yourself and those around you. The more of an out-loud commitment you make, the better, IMO.
Wishing you the very best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 40
Thank you for the comments MLD51. You make so many valid points. While I say that I was functioning there is no doubt that my productivity has not been nearly what it could have been for a long time now. I have a good friend of mine who over the last several years drank his marriage away. He then went to rehab for 90 days and has been doing great for a while now. Maybe I will join him and go to an AA meeting. At any rate I will reach out to him to be one of my people I can talk to when the going gets tough. It is amazing how good he looks just from his lifestyle change. I saw him just the other day and he has lost weight, his complexion looked better he just overall appeared to be more vibrant and healthy. As for the plan….It will no doubt be difficult with my family and friends as we just plain and simply pretty much drink all the time. Everything seems to revolve around drinking. I was invited one of my best friends surprise 50th birthday party the other night that his daughter had put together for him. I called her a couple hours before and told her that I was sick and wouldn’t make it. I knew that was going to be a drunk fest and this early on I just needed to stay away. At some point I’m going to have to face this head on, I realize that and in a strange kind of way I’m actually looking forward to it.
JADIII I haven’t seen the liver specialist yet. My doctor told me that they would do the referral and that someone would call me to set up the appointment. Well as of yesterday I still hadn’t heard anything so I called my doctor’s office and talked to the nurse. She was very apologetic and explained that she had totally dropped the ball on doing the referral due to a miscommunication between her and my doc. She said she would do it right away and that I should hear from the specialist office today about setting up an appointment. I will keep you posted.
Day 9 today !
JADIII I haven’t seen the liver specialist yet. My doctor told me that they would do the referral and that someone would call me to set up the appointment. Well as of yesterday I still hadn’t heard anything so I called my doctor’s office and talked to the nurse. She was very apologetic and explained that she had totally dropped the ball on doing the referral due to a miscommunication between her and my doc. She said she would do it right away and that I should hear from the specialist office today about setting up an appointment. I will keep you posted.
Day 9 today !
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
Hey Denny, glad to hear you're still doing well. It can't hurt to join your friend and go to an AA meeting just to see what it's all about. You need to have some kind of plan for dealing with the inevitable situation of being around family and friends who drink and with whom you associate drinking. This thing is a b****. Just when you're feeling great, your lizard brain will chime in, "Hey, one little drink won't hurt," and things go off the rails again fast.
You might want to look into finding a counselor or therapist, AVRT, SMART recovery and AA. Some people do beat this on their own, but I would imagine that the New Orleans drinking culture is a mine field for those of us that can't drink because it's a death sentence.
Don't be surprised if you go to the liver specialist and everything turns out to be just fine and dandy. The liver can recover fast, and your nine days of sobriety might give it enough time to do that. I mistook my "good health" as an excuse to keep drinking for many years, but now I can see how stupid that was. Just five weeks in, and I'm so much stronger physically, feeling ten years younger.
Anyway, keep it up.
You might want to look into finding a counselor or therapist, AVRT, SMART recovery and AA. Some people do beat this on their own, but I would imagine that the New Orleans drinking culture is a mine field for those of us that can't drink because it's a death sentence.
Don't be surprised if you go to the liver specialist and everything turns out to be just fine and dandy. The liver can recover fast, and your nine days of sobriety might give it enough time to do that. I mistook my "good health" as an excuse to keep drinking for many years, but now I can see how stupid that was. Just five weeks in, and I'm so much stronger physically, feeling ten years younger.
Anyway, keep it up.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,811
Also wanted to add - I found out that I have a lot MORE fun in general now that I don't drink. I still go to parties, but I don't stay as long, and I have fun until people start to get really drunk, then I'm out of there. I always have an escape plan. I have cultivated some new hobbies and pastimes now - that have nothing to do with drinking. You mentioned fishing without drinking - I'm also getting into fishing again now. Theres' no earthly reason to drink while fishing, really. Exercise is another great thing to do to pass time and has the added benefit of natural endorphins, no booze required. I'm almost never bored. So much to do, so little time. And it really gets easier over time.
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