Can you do this on your own?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
There are many ways to get sober. You have to find something that works for you. AA can be great, but it is not for everyone. Online AA meetings are available. Keep coming here to SR, start a journal, hang around sober people. One on one counseling helped me. I think that anybody that drinks to excess has underlying problems that need to be addressed. Look there for answers. Good luck! As others have said, don't wait another day. I wish I had addressed the problem far sooner.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Madrid, Spain.
Posts: 172
I think that asking for help and trying all options available is the best way. If you decide that a particular form of help/support isn't for you, then it is still positive. Something that doesn't work for you helps you to understand yourself better as you are discovering more about what makes you tick, and that takes you closer to your objective.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
If you've tried it on your own, and you can't quit, you need to try it with the support of others. While this may not be your preferred path, it would be a logical path. You're here asking for help, so at some level, you already understand this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,409
It all depends how you define on your own? In my experience recovery from alcoholism requires a profound personality change/spiritual awakening. This could be achieved on your own through bringing about this through implementing change in your life/mindset etc through working some form of recovery program. However I would advise just going to some AA meetings as you have nothing to lose and it definitely helps in my experience meeting others who have been where you are and that you can relate to. AA + SR has worked very well for me.
my question would be why do you want to do it alone though? It’s always imperative to try something different if what you’ve done before hasn’t worked.
Total acceptance of one’s alcoholism is the most important part of recovering in my experience.
my question would be why do you want to do it alone though? It’s always imperative to try something different if what you’ve done before hasn’t worked.
Total acceptance of one’s alcoholism is the most important part of recovering in my experience.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
I think you can. I am quitting with no other help other than this site. I have a supportive wife and other than that no one knows I'm trying to quit(theres really no one else to know). I drank for over 25 years on a daily basis. Probably was in my pint of rum a day habit for about 15 years. Drinking a pint of rum after work in about a 6 hr time span. On weekends or when I'm laid off I would drink most of the day. Recently I was drinking from 730 in the morning to about 8 at night. About a fifth, or close, of rum. I have been laid off this time for almost 8 months now and was drinking all day every day of that 8 months. I was getting highly anxious about health and overall looking like crap to the point people would notice. Finally woke up one day with no rum left over and I just decided that was it. I'm not buying any, any more. I successfully tapered off with just beer for 2 days then quit all together. I had very mild withdrawals. And while I have only been sober for 9 days now I hope to quit forever. I have not changed any other habits. I still sit around all day. I also do my chores around the house and outside and take care of my 9 year old so I am not really JUST sitting around but I am still home all day by my self(except for the 9 year old) doing the same ol same ol. Just not drinking. I feel much better, look better. I went to a dr at day 5(was pre scheduled, not cuz I quit drinking) and my pulse was a tad high at 104 and my bp was high at 160/90 but it had been for a decade(probably cuz of drinking.) I got put on another med that slows the heart beat and lowers bp, but I am hoping it will be alot lower when I go back in a month, when I plan on telling the dr my situation and see if anything is better naturally and not cuz of meds. My bottom line before this tangent gets way off line is yes, I do think you can do this on your own. If you so choose. Now granted I do not have a bunch of underlying issues that some have. I did not wake up feeling regretful, or depressed, or shameful. I didnt lose things or stumble around or embarrass my self. Nor do I feel that way now. I just drank cuz it became a habit after my teen years and everyone else going their own way(still drinking) and me at my house(still drinking). Was just a habit or lifestyle. After getting anxiety and starting to worry about my health(for better or worse due to anxiety from drinking) I finally realized it was time to quit. You can to, on your own or otherwise. Good luck to you and give it a seriously go. You wont regret it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
People in my life know I used to drink, and now I don’t. No one was aware of the extent of my solitary drinking, so likewise they aren’t aware of the effort and thought I’ve put into sobriety.
Probably not ideal, but it is ok with me. I have a casual to non-existent relationship with immediate family for many reasons, so a heart to heart was neither necessary or appropriate. My 2 closest friends are non-drinkers (go figure!), so they wouldn’t understand,
I think sobriety programs, face to face meetings, etc. are a great resource but as an introvert the thought scares me to death. Depends on who you are I suppose. SR is a great resource and I spent lots of time diving into the reasons behind my drinking, so I’m not at all saying anyone is exempt from the work of sobriety even if you don’t subscribe to a recovery method.
As for living alone/time, for me I had to fill that time and create new habits. Exercise is a big part, as well as the free online research I can do via youtube and other resources. There’s lots of things to try, but IMO you must replace the “activity” of drinking with something valuable.
Gone are the days of my evening’s “plan” being “get wasted on the couch”. To be honest, in the throes of that I couldn’t imagine what I’d do with all that time, but ow my life is full of hobbies and activities I enjoy.
It’s worth it.
-bora
Probably not ideal, but it is ok with me. I have a casual to non-existent relationship with immediate family for many reasons, so a heart to heart was neither necessary or appropriate. My 2 closest friends are non-drinkers (go figure!), so they wouldn’t understand,
I think sobriety programs, face to face meetings, etc. are a great resource but as an introvert the thought scares me to death. Depends on who you are I suppose. SR is a great resource and I spent lots of time diving into the reasons behind my drinking, so I’m not at all saying anyone is exempt from the work of sobriety even if you don’t subscribe to a recovery method.
As for living alone/time, for me I had to fill that time and create new habits. Exercise is a big part, as well as the free online research I can do via youtube and other resources. There’s lots of things to try, but IMO you must replace the “activity” of drinking with something valuable.
Gone are the days of my evening’s “plan” being “get wasted on the couch”. To be honest, in the throes of that I couldn’t imagine what I’d do with all that time, but ow my life is full of hobbies and activities I enjoy.
It’s worth it.
-bora
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Battle Born
Posts: 24
Prinz Eugen der edle Ritter, eh?
Here's the thing though.
I'm single. I live alone. I'm not close to my siblings and my friends are all doing their own family things. That's one of the big reasons I drink actually, to alleviate the boredom and isolation. I don't work at present (thankfully). My parents are both retired baby boomers doing their own thing and generally enjoying life. They have absolutely no idea of my predicament and truth be told I'd rather keep it that way.
That is quite close to what my situation is (well, was, because no more drink) and in retrospective the drinking, this time around, was pretty much entirely driven by boredom and isolation. It's just way easier than to actually go out and find something reasonable meaningful to fill your day with, isn't it?
My good luck was that I hadn't yet arrived at a point where anxiety and sociophobia had gotten a hold. Sure makes it easier to leave the house...
I understand 'on your own' as meaning 'without the help / intervention of real world people or organizations', is that close? Because you've signed on to this forum and that is already substantial help!
To answer your question: In my case it seems to be shaping up to be possible. I suspect it depends a lot on how accountable you yourself can be to 'virtual' people on a website. In the little time I've spent here I have noticed some that interact with the forum members and respond to their advice very well and on the other hand a few that absolutely need more than mere interaction on the internet.
It's possible but not necessarily possible for you. I'm fairly sure that this is not a new thought for you, so just take my post as a confirmation and me as a data point.
Good luck!
Originally Posted by prinzeugen 
Here's the thing though.
I'm single. I live alone. I'm not close to my siblings and my friends are all doing their own family things. That's one of the big reasons I drink actually, to alleviate the boredom and isolation. I don't work at present (thankfully). My parents are both retired baby boomers doing their own thing and generally enjoying life. They have absolutely no idea of my predicament and truth be told I'd rather keep it that way.
My good luck was that I hadn't yet arrived at a point where anxiety and sociophobia had gotten a hold. Sure makes it easier to leave the house...
I understand 'on your own' as meaning 'without the help / intervention of real world people or organizations', is that close? Because you've signed on to this forum and that is already substantial help!
To answer your question: In my case it seems to be shaping up to be possible. I suspect it depends a lot on how accountable you yourself can be to 'virtual' people on a website. In the little time I've spent here I have noticed some that interact with the forum members and respond to their advice very well and on the other hand a few that absolutely need more than mere interaction on the internet.
It's possible but not necessarily possible for you. I'm fairly sure that this is not a new thought for you, so just take my post as a confirmation and me as a data point.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
No doubt that the alcohol and the smoking is the source of your anxiety.
If you are able to quit both at the same time (The way I am doing) yes you will suffer up front but after 15 days you will reap much better rewards.
Because the last time I quit drinking but kept smoking cigarettes I remember the anxiety was still with me.
If i needed a crutch I would choose to smoke weed over smoking cigarettes. Thats how I feel about it.
I mean cigarettes dont even "do anything". Once they are out of your life you wont even pine for them after a month.
I see guys at the AA meeting with over 10 years sober but still smoking cigarettes. Now for those gents the habit has now been ingrained with AA meetings (a symlink) so just imagine how tought its going to be for them to give up the cigs? The will probably smoke until the day of their death.
Because now they have such a strong association with AA + cigarettes.
I am from the school of thought to quit the cigs and the alcohol at the same time. Just suffer thru the 14 days and you will be handsomely rewarded at the tail end.
If you are able to quit both at the same time (The way I am doing) yes you will suffer up front but after 15 days you will reap much better rewards.
Because the last time I quit drinking but kept smoking cigarettes I remember the anxiety was still with me.
If i needed a crutch I would choose to smoke weed over smoking cigarettes. Thats how I feel about it.
I mean cigarettes dont even "do anything". Once they are out of your life you wont even pine for them after a month.
I see guys at the AA meeting with over 10 years sober but still smoking cigarettes. Now for those gents the habit has now been ingrained with AA meetings (a symlink) so just imagine how tought its going to be for them to give up the cigs? The will probably smoke until the day of their death.
Because now they have such a strong association with AA + cigarettes.
I am from the school of thought to quit the cigs and the alcohol at the same time. Just suffer thru the 14 days and you will be handsomely rewarded at the tail end.
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Just a simple plug for online spanish classes via skype through a school in Guatemala. Super cheap and the teachers are so warm and become like friends. Its one of my favorite parts of my week now!
I tried n tried on my own. Over and over. Im in AA now, so far so good.
I tried n tried on my own. Over and over. Im in AA now, so far so good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by prinzeugen
I know I will basically need to create an entire new pastime every night, to eat up the 5 hours or so I spend drinking.
Do this - do it like your life depends on it, because it does. You know this intellectually, but that is not nearly enough or you wouldn't be back here posting again. This disease is cunning, baffling, powerful, and most of all - progressive. If you continue to drink, it will take you down, it is just a question of when.
Good luck - keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
I remember my old humdrum drinking routine of watching Netflix and YouTube and even watching the same stuff again and again and again. What a boring waste of life it really was. Then i would get on the political forums or reddit and start arguing and fighting with people and insulting them.
When we finally break the chains of addiction we can WAKE UP and actually get busy with REAL hobbies and projects and actually we will be useful and productive and generate results.
We can finally pursue our real dreams and do something MARVELLOUS, we can build things, invent things, create art and so much more.
I really love this quote:
what will I do with myself when I can no longer drink/" The answer is I learned how to live rather than exist.
That is so well put. Im so bored with that old life and that boring routine of sitting around at home and feeling like a slob on a log.
Drinking at home by myself was like being sentenced to prison. A prison of isolation and boredom. But sobriety unlocks the key to our jail cell and now we are FREE
When we finally break the chains of addiction we can WAKE UP and actually get busy with REAL hobbies and projects and actually we will be useful and productive and generate results.
We can finally pursue our real dreams and do something MARVELLOUS, we can build things, invent things, create art and so much more.
I really love this quote:
what will I do with myself when I can no longer drink/" The answer is I learned how to live rather than exist.
That is so well put. Im so bored with that old life and that boring routine of sitting around at home and feeling like a slob on a log.
Drinking at home by myself was like being sentenced to prison. A prison of isolation and boredom. But sobriety unlocks the key to our jail cell and now we are FREE
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by prinzeugen
Great post man, thanks. Haha yeah, I sometimes have whimsical thoughts about that guy everyone knows who spent his whole life chugging a bottle of wine everyday and living to a ripe old age.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by Mac4711
Prinzeugen, this man does exist and his name is Gerard Depardieu. But have you seen a picture of him recently?
I dont look up to a guy like that. Seems he will drop dead any day now. And just imagine how much money he has wasted on booze, he has probably shaved at least 10 years off his lifespan.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by Purina
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebri...ferent-9544389
I dont look up to a guy like that. Seems he will drop dead any day now. And just imagine how much money he has wasted on booze, he has probably shaved at least 10 years off his lifespan.
I dont look up to a guy like that. Seems he will drop dead any day now. And just imagine how much money he has wasted on booze, he has probably shaved at least 10 years off his lifespan.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,673
Support- daily support and getting that support where ever, when ever I can is the game changer for me. Addiction, for me is a holistic sickness- the physical effects is obvious, but it is also a moral and spiritual cancer. AA and SMART meetings, journal, SR, GP, counsellors, psychologist, online CBT courses, research, whatever it takes. A good share.
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