Therapy is too hard right now.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Therapy is too hard right now.
I'm trying to "stuff" everything and just focus on sobriety..and then I go to Therapist and it basically takes all my energy not to have a crying melt down....
Which will exhaust me...today was tough..
Luckily I can't afford more than 1x a month...even thou my mental state really requires 1x a week...I can't afford it.
But I think that is good right now...I think focusing on not drinking...being proud that I followed thru with an appointment today....taking care of one thing at a time..
Easy Does it is MY PHRASE today.
Hope everyone is doing ok with the struggle...and those....loving the sobriety....That is a blessing.
Which will exhaust me...today was tough..
Luckily I can't afford more than 1x a month...even thou my mental state really requires 1x a week...I can't afford it.
But I think that is good right now...I think focusing on not drinking...being proud that I followed thru with an appointment today....taking care of one thing at a time..
Easy Does it is MY PHRASE today.
Hope everyone is doing ok with the struggle...and those....loving the sobriety....That is a blessing.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
I’m sorry to hear that today was rough. Tackling the mental stuff is very hard.
FWIW: I often break down in a crying fit during my therapy sessions. That’s the only place where I allow myself to have a good cry - by good I mean the can’t breathe, can’t see, snot streaming down my face kind of cry. And I’m not someone to ever express my emotions.
But it feels cathartic. Hard to navigate but out of that uncomfortable, yucky sitting with the bad feelings moments, something good/some sort of change comes from it.
This is long rambling response to tell you I think it’s ok to cry. I think it’s ok to take baby steps when tackling the tough stuff. I think it’s ok to take a break from the tough stuff too.
Hang in there.
FWIW: I often break down in a crying fit during my therapy sessions. That’s the only place where I allow myself to have a good cry - by good I mean the can’t breathe, can’t see, snot streaming down my face kind of cry. And I’m not someone to ever express my emotions.
But it feels cathartic. Hard to navigate but out of that uncomfortable, yucky sitting with the bad feelings moments, something good/some sort of change comes from it.
This is long rambling response to tell you I think it’s ok to cry. I think it’s ok to take baby steps when tackling the tough stuff. I think it’s ok to take a break from the tough stuff too.
Hang in there.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I'm trying to "stuff" everything
how is that working for ya? is that what ya did when ya drank? is that one reason ya drank-to try keep it all stuffed?
i had a crapton of crap surface when i got sober.
F.E.A.R.=
**** Everything And Run
or
Face Everything And Recover.
it took time to face it all. in doing so i learned about me-what makes me tick- and what needed to change for me to get away from who i was.
yup, it was hard but well worth it.
how is that working for ya? is that what ya did when ya drank? is that one reason ya drank-to try keep it all stuffed?
i had a crapton of crap surface when i got sober.
F.E.A.R.=
**** Everything And Run
or
Face Everything And Recover.
it took time to face it all. in doing so i learned about me-what makes me tick- and what needed to change for me to get away from who i was.
yup, it was hard but well worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Glad to hear you got through it and came out with a constructive attitude. Even if not "happy", sounds like you got some inner work done and know yourself a little better. I had a spiritual director I saw monthly last year, and they knew how to ask just the "right" question to make me reeeeaaaaallllyyy uncomfortable. BUT, I always felt better afterwards, even if a little shaken about what I assumed was true and how I ticked. Made me more aware of where my thoughts go, how to stay with a feeling and get down to causes and conditions of things, as they say.
But it's also nice to get it done and get home where it's safer and recoup for a while!
But it's also nice to get it done and get home where it's safer and recoup for a while!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 239
You're right... feel good about your follow through and your sobriety! I like the easy-does-it idea for now 
you are already accomplishing so much! Yesterday you tackled a lot of physical chores and today emotional ones. Way to go, Missy!
you are already accomplishing so much! Yesterday you tackled a lot of physical chores and today emotional ones. Way to go, Missy!
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Good on you Missie. For persevering with therapy. I usually feel worse afterwards as well and end up crying on the way home from it. I don’t know how old you are but at nearly 52 I am too stuck in my ways. When I was younger it was more helpful. Hope you feel better soon..
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I remember one time when I had to rush out of my therapists office and violently vomit. Not because of alcohol. Because of the sudden welling of emotion I’d been trying to contain. That was followed by sobbing and a total breakdown in his office. It was incredibly helpful. A breakthrough.
sometimes falling apart is exactly what we need
sometimes falling apart is exactly what we need
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by sweetichick 
Good on you Missie. For persevering with therapy. I usually feel worse afterwards as well and end up crying on the way home from it. I don’t know how old you are but at nearly 52 I am too stuck in my ways. When I was younger it was more helpful. Hope you feel better soon..
I really need to stop and process the "bad" so I can cycle thru it..instead of "stuffing"....and when I do that..it is super draining and I can't really handle it...so I'm just glad I don't have an appointment for another month.
Thank you for understanding.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
I remember one time when I had to rush out of my therapists office and violently vomit. Not because of alcohol. Because of the sudden welling of emotion I’d been trying to contain. That was followed by sobbing and a total breakdown in his office. It was incredibly helpful. A breakthrough.
sometimes falling apart is exactly what we need
sometimes falling apart is exactly what we need
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
If I fell apart in my psychiatrist office. All it would get me is either more medication or being locked up in a psyh ward. I don't want more medication neither being locked up. My psychiatrist is not a therapist. He just prescribed drugs.this is only my experience.
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