Almost a year - having a rough time
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Almost a year - having a rough time
On Thursday, I will be sober for one year. Overall, I’ve been doing well. However, this past week I’ve become fairly moody, a bit down, and just hum-drum, if you will.
I noticed that I’m having a really hard time with things that I was able to do before: go certain places, be with certain people, that kind of stuff. I stay away from these people/places because I know that I will either crave or become super annoyed.
I’m following August’s often given advice of just saying no and protecting my sobriety, at all costs.
Just wondering if these feelings/responses are typical at the one year mark.
I noticed that I’m having a really hard time with things that I was able to do before: go certain places, be with certain people, that kind of stuff. I stay away from these people/places because I know that I will either crave or become super annoyed.
I’m following August’s often given advice of just saying no and protecting my sobriety, at all costs.
Just wondering if these feelings/responses are typical at the one year mark.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Soberversaries (and other important life events like birthdays, etc.) always put me in a reflective mood.
NOT in a mood to drink, just maybe I think a little more about *stuff* in general.
Hang on, a year sober is a great thing. Two is even better. Focus on that.
NOT in a mood to drink, just maybe I think a little more about *stuff* in general.
Hang on, a year sober is a great thing. Two is even better. Focus on that.
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,280
Hi there 
I think the feelings may well be typical . I know most of us in the May 2018 class found the AV becoming more vocal around the one year mark. I guess after a year of sobriety complacency can creep in and we might let our guards down a bit, thinking we've cracked it.
Hang on in there and really well done on approaching a year of sobriety!
John
I think the feelings may well be typical . I know most of us in the May 2018 class found the AV becoming more vocal around the one year mark. I guess after a year of sobriety complacency can creep in and we might let our guards down a bit, thinking we've cracked it.
Hang on in there and really well done on approaching a year of sobriety!
John
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Sounds to me like you are a normal human being, congrats. When I get like you describe, I just try to relax knowing it will pass if I allow it to by not focusing on it too much. I also remember being squirrely around my one year mark, so you ain't the only one. I don't know if there is any solid evidence to support the feelings tying in with the anniversary or not, but just rejoice in what it does signify, (1) you are a normal human being, (2) you are almost a year sober!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
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Yeah, I remember feeling that way at about the one year mark. I was so busy getting and staying sober for the first year - treatment, lots of AA, tons of reading "quit lit," working on cleaning up the wreckage. I barely had time to pause and reflect on what would come next. As I got closer to that year mark, it struck me that I wasn't having to work as hard to stay sober, and that I was leaving my old life behind in a lot of ways. It was a strange place to be. Old life gone, new life not really started yet in a meaningful way. Sort of an in-between place. I wasn't hanging out with most of my old friends. But not a bunch of new ones yet. Not much in the way of new sober activities yet. I didn't want to be sober doing the same old stuff and being around all the same people. Not only was I afraid it would be a path back to drinking, but it was frankly quite boring. I figured it was time to start working on the "what now" at about a year. But I barely knew how to start. I figured it out, by making lists of things I might like to do in free time, and then starting to make them happen. Still don't have a lot of new friends I hang out with a lot, but rather a few good ones who stuck by me when I was at my worst. I did have to shed quite a few along the way. They were not really friends anyway, really just drinking buddies.
You'll figure things out as you go. I think we put a lot of pressure to feel a certain way at major milestones, and the truth is, we don't all feel like celebrating at those times. It's a time to reflect and sometimes that's not a pleasant thing for some of us. But it is good time to maybe make some goals for the upcoming year of sobriety.
You'll figure things out as you go. I think we put a lot of pressure to feel a certain way at major milestones, and the truth is, we don't all feel like celebrating at those times. It's a time to reflect and sometimes that's not a pleasant thing for some of us. But it is good time to maybe make some goals for the upcoming year of sobriety.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 239
Hi atlas! Almost a year is great! I'm sorry you're feeling down. I managed to stop for a year one time and for some reason got week and had a drink I thought I'd be alright..... needless to say here I am several years later starting over and it sucks!
I really hope you stay strong. It's not worth it. We just have to relearn how to cope without throwing alcohol into the cycle.
best wishes to you.
I really hope you stay strong. It's not worth it. We just have to relearn how to cope without throwing alcohol into the cycle.
best wishes to you.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
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I absolutely know how you feel! I hit my one year tomorrow and I almost feel I’m a depressed state. Everything feels “meh”. I am at a B&B in Wales as in the morning I wanted to do a really long beach walk to celebrate a year. The drive was a drag, there was wine in the fridge in the room when I got here and for a fleeting second I thought “I could have a glass...just the one won’t ’hurt”!! WFT?!?
I can’t explain it, I just feel a bit flat. Hopefully the beachwalk might shake me out of this funk. Hope so xx
I can’t explain it, I just feel a bit flat. Hopefully the beachwalk might shake me out of this funk. Hope so xx
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Join Date: Dec 2018
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My first birthday was so-so. On the one hand I was happy to have completed one year of continuous sobriety which I never thought I'd be able to do. It just so happened that my birthday was on a Friday so I took the day off work, went to have an extravagant lunch, and then spent the day in the city. It was an enjoyable way to spend my day.
But as was already mentioned I was still in that "in between" phase. I was still focusing on getting my life straightened out so I hadn't really started the spiritual leg of my journey. Also I was still suffering the effects of PAWS related depression. There were definitely times when I thought to myself, "well I finished one year shouldn't I be feeling better by now?"
My second birthday was about a thousand times better than my first, that was nearly two months ago. Today I am even happier. It took awhile but I found when things got better it really snowballed. Now my happiness knows no bounds.
But as was already mentioned I was still in that "in between" phase. I was still focusing on getting my life straightened out so I hadn't really started the spiritual leg of my journey. Also I was still suffering the effects of PAWS related depression. There were definitely times when I thought to myself, "well I finished one year shouldn't I be feeling better by now?"
My second birthday was about a thousand times better than my first, that was nearly two months ago. Today I am even happier. It took awhile but I found when things got better it really snowballed. Now my happiness knows no bounds.
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Thanks everybody. It sounds like this is to be expected so that helps. I never thought of this as being in the middle of who i was and what I will become, that’s a good perspective so thank you for sharing that! I definitely need to get out of my own head and remember that this too shall pass.
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Originally Posted by MantaLady 
I absolutely know how you feel! I hit my one year tomorrow and I almost feel I’m a depressed state. Everything feels “meh”. I am at a B&B in Wales as in the morning I wanted to do a really long beach walk to celebrate a year. The drive was a drag, there was wine in the fridge in the room when I got here and for a fleeting second I thought “I could have a glass...just the one won’t ’hurt”!! WFT?!?
I can’t explain it, I just feel a bit flat. Hopefully the beachwalk might shake me out of this funk. Hope so xx
I can’t explain it, I just feel a bit flat. Hopefully the beachwalk might shake me out of this funk. Hope so xx
Let’s both get out of this funk together, shall we? I hope your walk was lovely and congratulations to you on your one year.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Like others have said its a common thing - and if I recall rightly you have a few things on your plate right now - that's enough to take the wind out of anyones sails.
Keep talking, keep using support - things will get better again atlast
D
Keep talking, keep using support - things will get better again atlast
D
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Very typical .....I went to AA for a long time...6 years....and everyone including myself...coming up on a year....got like this....This too shall pass....you WILL make your year....on Thursday.....and hopefully then your spirits will lift...
Congratulations on one year (close enough).
And believe it is totally normal....and hopefully you feel better soon.
Congratulations on one year (close enough).
And believe it is totally normal....and hopefully you feel better soon.
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Originally Posted by nez
Sounds to me like you are a normal human being, congrats. When I get like you describe, I just try to relax knowing it will pass if I allow it to by not focusing on it too much. I also remember being squirrely around my one year mark, so you ain't the only one. I don't know if there is any solid evidence to support the feelings tying in with the anniversary or not, but just rejoice in what it does signify, (1) you are a normal human being, (2) you are almost a year sober!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Originally Posted by nez
Sounds to me like you are a normal human being, congrats. When I get like you describe, I just try to relax knowing it will pass if I allow it to by not focusing on it too much. I also remember being squirrely around my one year mark, so you ain't the only one. I don't know if there is any solid evidence to support the feelings tying in with the anniversary or not, but just rejoice in what it does signify, (1) you are a normal human being, (2) you are almost a year sober!
I have found, actually, that the month before or after an anniversary of note has been my "best" - I didn't really "like" 12 other than yessss it was a year! 10 and 13 were actually my best around that time. And I kind of freaked out before the fam dinner celebrating my 2 yr....over what my step daughter had to wear ("nothing appropriate") and the whole fam who was coming (my parents, godparents and in laws....all who adore/love me...). So I get it and I think you are a normal alcoholic with your own ups and downs.
Each yr has brought different gifts, challenges and growth. To my "no" advice you cited (yay! it really does work no matter where we are)...being gentle with myself when I feel like this is really important.
enjoy the milestone...and keep it movin'....proud of you!
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