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Starting all over again

Old 06-06-2019, 10:40 AM
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Starting all over again

I was doing good a bit. Then I started drinking again. I don't really like to drink with others. I'd much rather just drink by myself. This past year I really struggled with depression. I had never had it before. I slowly found myself pulling back socially. I didn't really lose interest in things I once loved but didn't really have a lot to do socially. My kids are getting older and they aren't in all the sports/groups they used to be. Never realized thats what made us so social too. I work from home. I kind of wish I had a work opportunity to get out more but I don't. I exercise alone too. It gets lonely. I think thats why I started drinking more and more. When I was lonely it filled that void. Im married and have 3 beautiful kids. I just find myself lonely. The kids are older and starting to go their own ways. The hubby has his own friends and hobbies. I guess as a wife and mother when you aren't needed anymore it gets lonely. I tried filling my time with hobbies and exercise but everything I do is alone. I think I'm going to try and join some fitness group or sport and do more crafting. My husband asked me what I want to do. I couldn't even answer. My life has been a wife and mother. Thats all I have known. We had our oldest son when we were 20 so my whole life has been being a parent. That is no excuse to drink. We were not raised around drinking. My parents never drank (until their late 50's). I just need a strong support system and better will to do good. Right now I just find excuses why Im going to keep drinking. I am going to therapy but maybe I'll give AA another try. I definitely need to make some changes because I feel like alcohol is just wasting my money, time and memories.
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Old 06-06-2019, 11:41 AM
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Hello and sorry for your situation.
You say you want to socialize more. I think AA would be a great idea. You say you've been before, so you're familiar with it.
I'd look at it as an opportunity to get out, meet people and help your recovery.
I drank alone mostly at the end, too. It was lonely. The only place I went mostly was to a bar.
I think AA is a great idea for you. I hope you try it again.
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Old 06-06-2019, 11:55 AM
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Welcome back! The 'empty nest syndrome' is really hard for us mothers. We raise our children to be independent of course, but it's hard to deal with when it's been the main focus of your life.

I'm glad you are planning to go to therapy. Taking action is always good. Volunteering in your community could be a good way to meet people and to feel positive about what you are doing.
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Old 06-06-2019, 04:45 PM
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I'm single with no kids and don't date. Alcohol has been my only real friend ever since it helped me feel "normal" my first term in college. I joined a church 2 years ago and started volunteering and participating in some of the activities, but it's mostly families, so my moods swing from overwhelming joy and gratitude by being snatched out of complete lonliness and despair, and feelings of lonliness and despair that I'll never meet anyone or find my true calling in life.

I'm back in AA a couple days ago, and looking at my "life" as composed of church and AA friends. Part of me says that's pathetic, then again is it so bad? or maybe this is exactly where I need to be right now. I don't claim I found "the" solution and I still feel all over the map in the course of a single day, but your post about lonliness among everyone else who seems to have a place in the world hit home with me! Peace!
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Old 06-06-2019, 04:47 PM
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I'm glad you made it back eachdayanewday
Being connected to other people is important to me, and to my recovery.

AA must be worth a go, if you're open to that

D
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Old 06-06-2019, 05:01 PM
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I also suggest looking into volunteering in your area. It's a great way to give back to the community and meet new people too.
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Old 06-06-2019, 05:56 PM
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AA will not hurt you...I think you should give it another try..it is like a "social" group...and you never know you may meet some really good friends...I met my BEST friend there 14 years ago.

And this time that I got drunk last year...I went back. main reason I was LONELY and drinking.and the women are there with open arms...there are even purely Womens groups in many areas if you want to make some friends.
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