Feels safer for me to stay away from Social Media
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Feels safer for me to stay away from Social Media
When I'm getting sober. I'm on Day 4.
With the exception of forums like this or reading forums about other interesting things....
Its not that there are posts of people drinking...It is just the isolation from seeing people going thru hard things...or getting requests for help in a certain area....I need to focus on myself and not get caught up in it.
I got so much accomplished today being off social media.
With the exception of forums like this or reading forums about other interesting things....
Its not that there are posts of people drinking...It is just the isolation from seeing people going thru hard things...or getting requests for help in a certain area....I need to focus on myself and not get caught up in it.
I got so much accomplished today being off social media.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Though I typically refer back to my "drinking days," taking a look at the whole picture, the drinking was more of just an easy-to-see outward reflection of what were (and are still....) some pretty serious internal problems.
I'm an AA guy so I'll borrow some comments and notions from the program:
maladjusted to life
restless, irritable and discontent....until they can again experience that first drink
full of fear
driven - to do things I didn't really believe in or necessarily think were "good"
Of course there are many more but the theme is this - drinking, while a big problem, it isn't the core problem. It's like a having a really bad cough. While the cough sucks, the real issue is the infection I have that's causing the cough.
I found it was best for me to distance myself from a lot of the people I used to hang out with, to avoid a lot of the social media (though there was a LOT less 12 years ago than there is today), to get to bed at a more reasonable hour, to get some type of physical activity going again...... basically a whole lot of changes to the outside of my life in an attempt to try and break some pretty destructive habits.
It goes without saying, without also doing a lot of "internal" work in my recovery program to address my alcoholism and attack it at the root, all the external stuff eventually would have lost it's shine and I probably would have gone back to drinking again..... as I'd done so many times before. I did find it helpful though, to make some positive changes (simple ones....like the ones I mentioned) to sort of get me prepared for the heavy lifting that was to come.
I congratulate you for even recognizing that simply talking about a problem, while occasionally helpful, isn't quite the same as discussing a problem AND A SOLUTION along with it. I could go back to the bar and hear all the "poor-me's" I could stand. A major theme in my recovery is not shying away from those painful times but being sure to accompany them with what solutions didn't work and which ones did work.
I'm an AA guy so I'll borrow some comments and notions from the program:
maladjusted to life
restless, irritable and discontent....until they can again experience that first drink
full of fear
driven - to do things I didn't really believe in or necessarily think were "good"
Of course there are many more but the theme is this - drinking, while a big problem, it isn't the core problem. It's like a having a really bad cough. While the cough sucks, the real issue is the infection I have that's causing the cough.
I found it was best for me to distance myself from a lot of the people I used to hang out with, to avoid a lot of the social media (though there was a LOT less 12 years ago than there is today), to get to bed at a more reasonable hour, to get some type of physical activity going again...... basically a whole lot of changes to the outside of my life in an attempt to try and break some pretty destructive habits.
It goes without saying, without also doing a lot of "internal" work in my recovery program to address my alcoholism and attack it at the root, all the external stuff eventually would have lost it's shine and I probably would have gone back to drinking again..... as I'd done so many times before. I did find it helpful though, to make some positive changes (simple ones....like the ones I mentioned) to sort of get me prepared for the heavy lifting that was to come.
I congratulate you for even recognizing that simply talking about a problem, while occasionally helpful, isn't quite the same as discussing a problem AND A SOLUTION along with it. I could go back to the bar and hear all the "poor-me's" I could stand. A major theme in my recovery is not shying away from those painful times but being sure to accompany them with what solutions didn't work and which ones did work.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
For what its worth, I no longer participate (much) in social media. I do not post personal info on facebook, no twitter, no instagram. I use facebook from a professional standpoint and checking messages.
I think you made a wise choice.
I think you made a wise choice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
As part of my overall self improvement goals I eliminated all social media after I got sober.
It had nothing to do with triggers or anything like that. I have found that social media is nothing more than hot garbage. Maybe a small percentage of people use it to stay in contact with distant friends but overall it is a disgusting cesspool of drama and passive aggressiveness. If somebody wants to know what is going on in my life they can.....gasp.....call me.
It had nothing to do with triggers or anything like that. I have found that social media is nothing more than hot garbage. Maybe a small percentage of people use it to stay in contact with distant friends but overall it is a disgusting cesspool of drama and passive aggressiveness. If somebody wants to know what is going on in my life they can.....gasp.....call me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
It pushed similar buttons as alcohol for me... mostly the drama. I gave it up almost a year ago. I was one of the early FB users, too... my profile was very old and very comprehensive. I was connected to hundreds of people I’ve known over the years and it felt like unnecessary baggage. I don’t miss it at all.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
No social media for me nor do I watch the news or read the papers with the exception of IG. The only things I follow are nature / ocean / landscapes / Yoga and meditation accounts so the feed is very positive.
I don’t miss social media at all and are glad to not have the drama and negativity it brought to my life before getting sober. xx
I don’t miss social media at all and are glad to not have the drama and negativity it brought to my life before getting sober. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
I closed my facebook page about 4 years ago. Mostly, I didn't find it interesting. Many sites seem to be devoted to confrontation. My facebook experience wasn't like that, but I've heard that facebook can get that way too. I remember a line from a recent movie where a woman describes passing her time "mixing it up with others" on the Internet. She made fists to describe what it was like, and I've seen poorly monitored sites that have become havens for trolls and misanthropes. Some certainly do qualify as unhealthy. A guy who is now dead gleefully said he enjoyed pissing people off in forums.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I'm a bit different than some of y'all on this one - in the sense that I manage (7 and growing!) Insta accounts and a master FB page for a recovery group for the restaurant industry. Soooo I'm on it "all the time." That usually means I'm on my own accounts too.
At times, especially the first 14 mo til I got involved with the group, I took breaks or used the accounts minimally. I had actually closed my FB before I quit and when I reopened it at first a personal rule was only people for whom I had other contact info and/or saw in person as friends. That expanded as I got to know industry people and others in the positive circles I participate in. People who are, in a nutshell, tiring or full of it, no dice.
I have found a lot of great recovery accounts and made sober friends on Insta. Love the growing community of such. Especially the women.
That said, here at 3+ yr sober, I've had time outs of a weekend here and there, and even one work week where I only did MWF updates and let the city leaders know I'd be offline except email and text for their needs.
Up to each of us- but do what's mentally and emotionally good for you! Lastly- I have found that an amazing gift of being publicly sober in these arenas has resulted in a LOT of unexpected people approaching me about their own drinking, needing help, questions, marital situations around drinking- that's really cool and indeed one of the promises of AA in terms of service.
At times, especially the first 14 mo til I got involved with the group, I took breaks or used the accounts minimally. I had actually closed my FB before I quit and when I reopened it at first a personal rule was only people for whom I had other contact info and/or saw in person as friends. That expanded as I got to know industry people and others in the positive circles I participate in. People who are, in a nutshell, tiring or full of it, no dice.
I have found a lot of great recovery accounts and made sober friends on Insta. Love the growing community of such. Especially the women.
That said, here at 3+ yr sober, I've had time outs of a weekend here and there, and even one work week where I only did MWF updates and let the city leaders know I'd be offline except email and text for their needs.
Up to each of us- but do what's mentally and emotionally good for you! Lastly- I have found that an amazing gift of being publicly sober in these arenas has resulted in a LOT of unexpected people approaching me about their own drinking, needing help, questions, marital situations around drinking- that's really cool and indeed one of the promises of AA in terms of service.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
I stopped looking at social media 2 years ago. I deleted the app from my phone. It is scientifically proven to cause depression. If people want to be in my life or know how I am they have to directly contact me. Many people show only their good life on social media, not their real life. I read books now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
SR is pretty much my social media.
I've never opened a FB account, although my wife has chronicled portions of my life on it.
But I spend way, way too much time reading other sites on the web.
All to the exclusion of reading books (I bought 7 or 8 of them yesterday at the local used bookstore).
Books are classic sources of wisdom and art - not blogs.
I have to get better about this.
It sounds like social media can be both helpful (personally and professionally) and problematic, depending on the nature and time of usage.
I've never opened a FB account, although my wife has chronicled portions of my life on it.
But I spend way, way too much time reading other sites on the web.
All to the exclusion of reading books (I bought 7 or 8 of them yesterday at the local used bookstore).
Books are classic sources of wisdom and art - not blogs.
I have to get better about this.
It sounds like social media can be both helpful (personally and professionally) and problematic, depending on the nature and time of usage.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Closed my FB account probably 2+ years ago now. It became utterly useless and for a fairly long period prior to me closing it - using it was a liability. In addition to getting psyched out people's 'happy!happy!happy!' lives (which could be true, I guess, but seems oddly lopsided), it was a readily available tool of further destruction when I was drinking.
That sensation of 'what the hell did I message about to him/her yesterday ....' and then like turning notifications off on my phone. Glad to be rid of that crap, to be honest. And it was weird, too, because my then school/programme pretty much required a fb account to get certain pieces of important information. I found that revolting, really.
For me personally, social media was a useless pile of junk. People are way too interested in other people's lives, I found that out. Did someone start dating? Who? Did someone get married? Oh, they blocked me, I blocked them etc etc. That drama I am 101% happy to be without.
Watching other people's 'happy' highlight reel whilst being drunk and miserable, is just a recipe for depression (or deepening an existing one).
Wow - seems like I have some surppessed, unresolved emotions about FB :P
That sensation of 'what the hell did I message about to him/her yesterday ....' and then like turning notifications off on my phone. Glad to be rid of that crap, to be honest. And it was weird, too, because my then school/programme pretty much required a fb account to get certain pieces of important information. I found that revolting, really.
For me personally, social media was a useless pile of junk. People are way too interested in other people's lives, I found that out. Did someone start dating? Who? Did someone get married? Oh, they blocked me, I blocked them etc etc. That drama I am 101% happy to be without.
Watching other people's 'happy' highlight reel whilst being drunk and miserable, is just a recipe for depression (or deepening an existing one).
Wow - seems like I have some surppessed, unresolved emotions about FB :P
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
I enjoy emailing friends, but I have no particular desire to make these emails public. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing in them that is particularly private or confidential. But I don't understand what advantage FB offers over email.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 28
Love this! FB combined with drinking created so much anxiety for me, I'm sure not going to miss that combination! Waking up with a hangover and cringing to the thought of being online while pretty much in a blacked out state, yuck!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Mercifully, there was no opportunity for "drunk posts" when I drank.
But I certainly made some unwise choices about whom to call when I was drinking, even though I was certain they wanted to hear from me.
But I certainly made some unwise choices about whom to call when I was drinking, even though I was certain they wanted to hear from me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: fl
Posts: 246
Thank you for posting this i was just talking to my parents letting them know ill be giving FB Insta messenger a break while I deal with life
reading all the posts sounds like it has helped everyone Ill be using the boards but the social media stuff im going to give it a try! again great post made me address some issues im having with how people are on Social media
reading all the posts sounds like it has helped everyone Ill be using the boards but the social media stuff im going to give it a try! again great post made me address some issues im having with how people are on Social media
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I did a five week inpatient stay, where we had no access to the Internet or cell phones. I had withdrawal from that as well! but it proved useful.
I'm more like August now, I use social media for both personal and professional reasons.
I'm more like August now, I use social media for both personal and professional reasons.
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