Starting Over
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 63
Starting Over
Hello everyone, Im starting over again after a bender..... im embarrassed to keep coming back here after yet another bender. But I feel isolated and demoralized ...I had 28 days now im just coming off a 3 day bender filled with wine and voldka and no food been on this site for almost 2 years and still struggling so much, I called of off work yesterday and will have to go in tonight otherwise I probably wont have a job anymore.... I flaked on other obligations ill have to address pretty soon as well. I need some support, please send me encouragement without harsh words, Im going to an AA meeting today if someone could direct message me with support I would really appreciate it. Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
I'm sorry you're suffering today, I've been there more times than I can count. I was also a binge drinker, a daily drinker, and a chronic relapser. I would get several months (4,6,8) of sobriety under my belt, only to return to the madness of drinking. I had to stop! I had to WANT sobriety.
If I can do this, you can do it! Get more support, ask for help here before you drink.
If I can do this, you can do it! Get more support, ask for help here before you drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Sweetipie, above all, be kind to yourself today. Recovery is a struggle and many of us took time to get it right. The main thing is that you're back here and working on your sobriety again.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Last year in April I managed to get 30 days, longest I had had in years and due to a situation I won’t go into detail on I got too overwhelmed and went on a bender for a week. I restarted my clock on 11th of June and in 3 weeks I will have a year sober! If I can do it you can too, all is not lost and remember it’s not about how many times you fall but how many times you get back up and continue to fight! It’s absolutely possible for you, you just need to believe in yourself and make sobriety your no 1 priority xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
good for you on getting back here AND making attending an AA meeting a priority. regardless of which program we choose, they all have the same baseline - do not drink no matter what. once we let go of the notion of "just one more" or "i totally deserve this" and accept that alcohol is no longer part of our lives, PERIOD, continuous sobriety comes a bit more easily.
if we lock and bolt the front door of our home, but leave the back door standing ajar, then we have not created a secure perimeter. recovery is the same thing - if we don't have all the latches, locks and bolts engaged, we might as well just leave the windows wide open.
be good to yourself in these first few days. do the next wise thing.
if we lock and bolt the front door of our home, but leave the back door standing ajar, then we have not created a secure perimeter. recovery is the same thing - if we don't have all the latches, locks and bolts engaged, we might as well just leave the windows wide open.
be good to yourself in these first few days. do the next wise thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 63
I made it to an AA meeting yesterday and today, and received a list of sponsors Im going to call and get a hold of, someone to start working the steps. Im very emotionally beat up right now and embarrassed.... but im going to try again I hope it sticks this time. Thank you everyone who direct messaged me and talked to me in the chat room, you helped tremendously Im going to actively use this sight in my recovery.... Im still trying.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 141
Hi Sweetie:
Succumbing to the very nature of our problem is no reason for shame or your own arse kicking (or anyone else's here for that matter IMO). In arresting this problem, disorder, disease, bad habit....whatever the hell you want to call it can be perhaps as much an enigma as the issue itself. Who knows what occurs within when we finally say "enough" and can truly start stringing along momentum that surprises our own self. Surrendering to our own exasperated acknowledgment that " no, we don't got this...we don't have it under control ..and we cannot quit anytime we like" is a huge part of finding some sobriety answers. Everyone here certainly understands how difficult this beast is to subdue.
We're all here together in this.
Succumbing to the very nature of our problem is no reason for shame or your own arse kicking (or anyone else's here for that matter IMO). In arresting this problem, disorder, disease, bad habit....whatever the hell you want to call it can be perhaps as much an enigma as the issue itself. Who knows what occurs within when we finally say "enough" and can truly start stringing along momentum that surprises our own self. Surrendering to our own exasperated acknowledgment that " no, we don't got this...we don't have it under control ..and we cannot quit anytime we like" is a huge part of finding some sobriety answers. Everyone here certainly understands how difficult this beast is to subdue.
We're all here together in this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by sweetiepie32 
I made it to an AA meeting yesterday and today, and received a list of sponsors Im going to call and get a hold of, someone to start working the steps. Im very emotionally beat up right now and embarrassed.... but im going to try again I hope it sticks this time. Thank you everyone who direct messaged me and talked to me in the chat room, you helped tremendously Im going to actively use this sight in my recovery.... Im still trying.
Try to look at things more positively. I know it is hard. It's good that you are embarrassed and distraught. It means that you know what you are doing is destructive and want to change. Use those emotions to your advantage. Remember how you feel in this moment and use them as a deterrent when you want to drink again.
It is very difficult and takes a lot of work to change but it is very possible. You can do it but you have to be honest with yourself and truly want to make the change.
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