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Old 05-17-2019, 02:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Forgotten how to communicate sober


I'm being hard on myself for not sharing at tonight's meeting; I went back to being that awkward guy in the corner. I thought I'd left him behind years ago, but turns out the drink must've been masking the issue.

Even though I've shared at several meetings I still feel I need to rectify things. Be more confident!

It was quite a busy one tonight, so maybe that was a part of it. I just don't wanna end up isolating too much again...
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hey Tetrax- sharing is important but so is not talking. I've had to learn how and when and what - and gradually started seeing that while I did need to share, sometimes just being there so another person felt heard by the rest of us was my job that meeting.

Do you have a sponsor yet?
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
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hey, MOST important part is you attended a meeting! we don't have to share all the time at every meeting. sometimes just listening is perfectly ok.

next time if you are still feeling a little shy or reserved you can simply say Hi I'm Tetrax, an alcoholic, grateful to be hear and just want to listen, thanks. in that way you HAVE communicated a bit out of your comfort zone without forcing some 20 minute rambl-ogue.

you're doing great, really.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Tetrax, as August and Anvil said It is not a bad thing to not speak. I do believe that noticing potential issues is great. If you fear isolating try other things that will challenge you to be more outgoing.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Do you have a sponsor yet?
Nope. Still just feel like I'm trying to find my way a bit, get the 30 days and then feel more a part of it or something. Also there are different people at different meetings and I lose track. Plus of course I find it hard to communicate...

I am however getting an outpatient thing sorted; I should be able to get a second appointment soon (first assessment I was drunk on my last bender; I have since apologised).
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Nope. Still just feel like I'm trying to find my way a bit, get the 30 days and then feel more a part of it or something. Also there are different people at different meetings and I lose track. Plus of course I find it hard to communicate...

I am however getting an outpatient thing sorted; I should be able to get a second appointment soon (first assessment I was drunk on my last bender; I have since apologised).
I remember you talking about this, Tetrax.
I am early in my sobriety and just dealing with stuff myself. I'm really proud of you for going back for another assessment. I have trouble confronting my past drunken behavior. I know it's tough.

I support you, my friend.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I think it's a skill like anything else Tetrax - it'll come back to you

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Old 05-17-2019, 11:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey Tetrax- sharing is important but so is not talking.
I think that is such wisdom. I know that I have had sober moments where I feel like I don't know what to say or do and what happened to that life of the party woman? It was a good and perpetually gregarious very light drinker friend who said to me..."sometimes you just listen and that's okay."
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Old 05-18-2019, 09:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I think a lot of us struggle with social anxiety, I know I do. Alcohol made the doubting voices in my head quiet. Just keep going, trying little missions if you feel down. If you don't much just congratulate yourself on GOING.

I'm so glad to hear you are being active in your recovery Tetrax.
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