Andante

To be more specific, alcoholic kindling is the process by which severe withdrawal symptoms -- including seizures -- become more likely with each subsequent detox.

Most alcoholics experience a progression over time of the severity of withdrawal symptoms as physical dependence grows -- it's part of what defines alcoholism. However, sometimes that progression can occur abruptly, and what were once manageable symptoms suddenly become quite severe. This is why alcohol withdrawal is so dangerous.

A picture being worth a thousand words, I'll drag out and re-post this graph showing how "kindling" occurs:

venuscat

Hello dear Andante.

Thank you.... ♥

For years here I have heard this term and I have not been able to understand it....now I do....this is truly appreciated....also lovely to meet you. xx

venuscat

Haircut you say darling Gabe
What does it look like....bold and kind of out there?
Love you xx

Gabe1980

It's my awesome, new, sexy recovery hairdo Suze!! Kind of a short blunt bob with a super short fringe. I'm rocking it!

Loved the meeting I went to tonight. My first back to basics step-work meeting. I love the focus and sense of work. I've always liked to study and group discussion like this really appeals to me. They seem to work throught the steps quite quickly though and the idea of it makes me a bit anxious but my mind is open and I'll ask questions as I go.

My biggest feeling is a sense of utter relief not to be alone. Not to have to figure this out anymore and make all these decisions and judgements about what alcohol is, or should be, or can be in my life. I'm just focusing on the programme, all those other questions have nothing to do with me. I love the sense of community too.

I'm really happy to be posting this today. I'm tired and a bit bruised still but I needed this last relapse. The stark contrast between being so happy and well one day to being seriously mentally, physically and spiritually unwell the next has done it for me. Nothing caused that apart from my choice to put poison in my body. I choose to never do that again. Love to you all. Gabe xxx

Gabe1980

Thank you Andante for the post above. It was really helpful for me too xx

venuscat

Gabe.....love.....boy do I hear you girl (ha)....but really.....really....this is what you needed. I know you did. And I am SO happy you are finding your people. xx

Karaweeds

Thanks for the replies, all! And good job to you, Gabe!!!!

Gabe1980

Bit flat today. Just feel exhausted and emotional. Not sure why. Happy enough not to be drinking and not wanting to drink but just really want to sleep and be left alone. Maybe just a crap day.

Sending love to everyone today xx

Dee74

I think thats normal Gabe - down days are part of early recovery - but at least they're bad days not bad weeks, months or years

Hope you feel better tomorrow

D

venuscat

Sending love honey.
And I totally agree with Dee.... ♥♥

Fearlessat50

How are you feeling today, Gabe? Agree with Dee and Venuscat.

Early sobriety is such a rollercoaster ride! This will pass. Hang on through the lows and stay strong. It will keep getting better and the ride will smooth out eventually. I have to say, I’ve had quite a trying week with lots going on and more anxious than I’ve felt in a long time. It took me a long time to realize ups and downs will still happen in life regardless of drinking or not. It’s such a good feeling to look back and get through these times sober.

We can do hard things!

Dee74

hows it today Gabe?

D

Gabe1980

Thank you everyone and thanks for checking in.

You know, I'm OK. I'm totally exhausted after last week and I need a bit of self-care. I think the big thing was realising how much I had slipped in my thinking.

I've been so happy recently and grateful. Full of gratitide for the the people in my life and the opportunities I have. I have a brilliant job, that I love too. That last couple of days drinking and I went back to angry, exhausted and resentful anyone would dare want me to do anything! It's sounds daft but all the work I have been doing around myself has been about relationships and learning to enjoy having people in my life again. I felt that had ruined all that, stopped answering the phone again, just wanting the world to stop, so I could be alone.

I realised last night I'm being pretty hard on myself. Last week was really truamatic and its OK not to bounce back straight away. Its OK not to want to see people for a bit and just rest.

Plus, my husband said my 'angry' is another persons slightly 'peed off', so I'm not that hard to live with.

My Mum said something that helped. She always said I was a person who needed finely tuned to be in harmony (I was ill alot from being wee). My tuning has just got out of wack so I'm re-tuning again.

Thanks everyone and have a lovely day today (or a managable one anyway!) Gabe xx

Happyvale

Hi Gabe:
I must say it was lovely to peruse this thread which takes the reader from despair to hope. You fell and you got back up. I am reminded of that old adage regarding how a person drowns....not by falling in the water - but by staying down. You got out of the water...well done. In reading these posts, I am also reminded of something a counselor once said to me about "how much practice" my brain has in picking up that vice (cigarette or glass of wine". How many times has my brain said "ya do that"...and I have done it. Yikes. A lot.

Addiction...she's a beast.

Gabe1980

Thanks Happyvale. I'm incredibly grateful I've managed to turn it around. It's take two weeks to get back to feeling somewhat normal and I only drank for an evening and a morning. I'm blown away by how much destruction that time drinking has done and what it cost me.

Addiction is a beast, I couldn't agree more!

Gabe1980

I just posted on another thread about how long I had been drinking. It's twenty years. So twenty years of my brain getting a ton of practice , just like HV said. Our brain is programmed Drinking = Good.

It's so hard to undo that but I love that my 'normal' and getting back to normal is fighting to get back to sober, happy and at peace. That is my normal now and isn't that just amazing? I'm not working towards this absract idea drinking will ruin my life so I will have to live with being sober. Sober is living for real, and something precious to protect.

I've learned so much with out really realising it, I think this the long-term maintainence part. Knowing that sober is awesome and protecting it in my life, by doing the work. Excuse me but **** every choosing to put myself though that again. It brought me nothing nothing but misery and isolation.

I feel great today. Love and best wishes to you all xxx

venuscat

Oh love,,,,,,this makes me so HAPPY.

When I got here, at the end of 2012, I felt the same way.....that obviously I had to stop drinking because it was ruining my life, and surely I would find a way to cope with that....I was so confused.....I asked a question and got responses that blew my socks off.

I asked if it was truly possible to be happy without drugs and alcohol?


Now.....6 and a half years later, that is so funny to me....not ha ha, but amusing, you know? How did I really believe that poison was the path to joy? To fulfilment? How completely insane.

Sober is awesome. Yes. Just yes yes yes. And precious. And when you let go of that internal fight, and truly know that this is the right path....the only path you want to take....gosh it's freeing, isn't it?

Now it's a lovely Sunday, despite the awful weather here today.

Love you to pieces dear Gabe. ♥

Happyvale

Ya! That. Sure feels it for me this weekend. Perhaps its just beautifully fresh right now - I'll take it!