bad day
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Good morning everyone. Thank you so much for your posts. I'm feeling bit more hopeful today that I am moving past this. I have to go back to my doctor in an hour. I going to ask for a referral to the alcohol problem service. I figure I going to do anything that keep my focus on my drinking being a problem at the centre of what I'm doing. I'll let you know how it goes
I replased because I stopped drinking then wanted to forgot about being an alcoholic and live my life like that issues was over. But I realise now that the only way for it to really be over is to keep my alcoholism and recovery central to my life.
It's so, so nice to hear from people who are still here, that have stayed here since the last time I was and are still helping me with the same advice. You are all here and all still sober. Do you think there is a connection!!
I replased because I stopped drinking then wanted to forgot about being an alcoholic and live my life like that issues was over. But I realise now that the only way for it to really be over is to keep my alcoholism and recovery central to my life.
It's so, so nice to hear from people who are still here, that have stayed here since the last time I was and are still helping me with the same advice. You are all here and all still sober. Do you think there is a connection!!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
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Originally Posted by Karaweeds 
New here. I have a question. Is kindling a feeling of being off balance? A bit dizzy? Unstable? I have been experiencing this as I am weaning off of wine. It's a horrible feeling. I guess I can always Google it, but I've been reading peoples' blogs on the AWESOME site and getting inspired that it will get better every day Thank you.
Gabe, best of luck to you! You can do this
Gabe, best of luck to you! You can do this
sNow I don't know the answer....I have never understood that word, but I am sure someone who knows will pop back and explain....
sending you huge hugs.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
Good morning everyone. Thank you so much for your posts. I'm feeling bit more hopeful today that I am moving past this. I have to go back to my doctor in an hour. I going to ask for a referral to the alcohol problem service. I figure I going to do anything that keep my focus on my drinking being a problem at the centre of what I'm doing. I'll let you know how it goes
I replased because I stopped drinking then wanted to forgot about being an alcoholic and live my life like that issues was over. But I realise now that the only way for it to really be over is to keep my alcoholism and recovery central to my life.
It's so, so nice to hear from people who are still here, that have stayed here since the last time I was and are still helping me with the same advice. You are all here and all still sober. Do you think there is a connection!!
I replased because I stopped drinking then wanted to forgot about being an alcoholic and live my life like that issues was over. But I realise now that the only way for it to really be over is to keep my alcoholism and recovery central to my life.
It's so, so nice to hear from people who are still here, that have stayed here since the last time I was and are still helping me with the same advice. You are all here and all still sober. Do you think there is a connection!!
And I think such a good and wise thing to do.
And so very proud of you for finding the courage to really have that hard conversation with your husband.
And once again very very happy to see you....I have been praying for you and missing you, and I know many other people have as well.
♥♥♥
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Oh Suz and Leigh, it's lovely to hear from you too and thank you for your continued support. I've checked in for a while but stopped posting, so it's good to be posting again.
My doctor was brilliant, really supportive and is going to put in a referral to two different services his thinks would be good for me.
I'm starting to feel a bit less scared and the anxiety is lessening. It's like waking up from a nightmare but I had 5 months and I know how to live sober. I just need more support to stay sober for life. There is so much more available here now we moved to mainland Scotland. I'm spoiled for choice! I'm not heading out again, it will be the end of me xxx
My doctor was brilliant, really supportive and is going to put in a referral to two different services his thinks would be good for me.
I'm starting to feel a bit less scared and the anxiety is lessening. It's like waking up from a nightmare but I had 5 months and I know how to live sober. I just need more support to stay sober for life. There is so much more available here now we moved to mainland Scotland. I'm spoiled for choice! I'm not heading out again, it will be the end of me xxx
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Originally Posted by joandmelandhan
So glad you made it back Gabe. You sound to be in a very similar situation to me when I last drank on 29 July 2017. Kindling is real for sure. And it's terrifying. That fear will buy you some sober time but you already know it fades. Keep it alive - watch YouTube videos of advanced alcoholism or a favourite of mine Rain in my Heart to keep it alive. Your honesty with your loved ones sounds like just the right thing. Well done for being so brave. Lots of love xxx
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Originally Posted by Gottalife
Hi Gabe. There are times when fear can be your friend, and this may be one of those times. I was so full of fear I was scared of my own shadow, and realising the envitability of the down hill slide into the alcoholic pit was the best motivator for taking drastic action. I knew I needed to. As someone else said, however, fear is not a long term solution - something has to replace it to provide a lasting defence against the fatal first drink.
In my experience people relapse because they have no effective defence against the fatal first drink. They had no defence because they did not take the action required to gain such a defence. They took no action, because they did not think they needed to. They thought they didn't need to because they didn't realise the seriousness of their situation.
My fear came from realising the seriousness of my situation, perhaps seeing reality for the first time. That led to action, which quite quickly led to a change in outlook, and I still recall the moment when I stopped staying sober out of fear, and began staying sober just because I loved this new way of living and what it was doing for me. At that point, three months and ten steps in, drinking became redundant.
In my experience people relapse because they have no effective defence against the fatal first drink. They had no defence because they did not take the action required to gain such a defence. They took no action, because they did not think they needed to. They thought they didn't need to because they didn't realise the seriousness of their situation.
My fear came from realising the seriousness of my situation, perhaps seeing reality for the first time. That led to action, which quite quickly led to a change in outlook, and I still recall the moment when I stopped staying sober out of fear, and began staying sober just because I loved this new way of living and what it was doing for me. At that point, three months and ten steps in, drinking became redundant.
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Hi Kara.....welcome
I know I most definitely felt off balance in my first sober days, for sure.....it is a shock to the system. Try to drink lots of water, and try to eat.....even small amounts.
And maybe you have a doctor you are comfortable talking to?
You are most definitely not alone.
Sending you huge hugs. xx
I know I most definitely felt off balance in my first sober days, for sure.....it is a shock to the system. Try to drink lots of water, and try to eat.....even small amounts.
And maybe you have a doctor you are comfortable talking to?
You are most definitely not alone.
Sending you huge hugs. xx
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Hi and welcome Kara
Dizziness and lightheaded was a part of my withdrawal. Years later I found out my BP (blood pressure) was high - outer space high. Might be worth seeing a Dr in case that's your problem too?
D
Dizziness and lightheaded was a part of my withdrawal. Years later I found out my BP (blood pressure) was high - outer space high. Might be worth seeing a Dr in case that's your problem too?
D
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Hi Kara, yeah dizzyness and feeling like I was falling always happens. Twitching to is a scary one. There are loads of links on here if you look around too.
Feeling so much better today, though still anxious and exhausted but functioning. Back at work, which really helped. Full of the cold now but thats totally OK!!
I'm just grateful, to be alive and to come out of this. I'm grateful this happened. It was that last time I've heard about which just seals the deal.
I AM READY TO LIFE MY LIFE ALCOHOL FREE NO MATTER WHAT. I am so grateful to have the chance to do that and for the last five months (actually several years) which have taught me to do that. So it's meetings, support and strategies, just wee things everyday to keep me focused and connected to my recovery.
What a devastating way to have to reach the final act but what a place to be now. Thank you all for your continued support. Thank you God for your protection and love. Gabe xx
I'm off to bed with a lemsip and some throat sweeties. I couldn't be happier!!
Feeling so much better today, though still anxious and exhausted but functioning. Back at work, which really helped. Full of the cold now but thats totally OK!!
I'm just grateful, to be alive and to come out of this. I'm grateful this happened. It was that last time I've heard about which just seals the deal.
I AM READY TO LIFE MY LIFE ALCOHOL FREE NO MATTER WHAT. I am so grateful to have the chance to do that and for the last five months (actually several years) which have taught me to do that. So it's meetings, support and strategies, just wee things everyday to keep me focused and connected to my recovery.
What a devastating way to have to reach the final act but what a place to be now. Thank you all for your continued support. Thank you God for your protection and love. Gabe xx
I'm off to bed with a lemsip and some throat sweeties. I couldn't be happier!!
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Goodnight love.
I reached the final battered and bruised and bloody as well....and I am very glad now. Because I can't ever go back there.
Hope you feel better tomorrow dear Gabe. ♥
I reached the final battered and bruised and bloody as well....and I am very glad now. Because I can't ever go back there.
Hope you feel better tomorrow dear Gabe.
♥
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Oh and one more thought;
As a newbie 18 months ago I used to get so frustrated at some of the comments from old timers here. Stuff like;
You've got to want to be sober more than you want to drink, it's the first drink that gets you drunk not the last, you need to put as much energy into recovery that you put into drinking....do you have a plan?
But over time I realised these are truths. Hearing them again and again coupled with my own experience of drinking, relapsing and kindling and they begin to become my truths and understanding of where you need to get to, to truly be in recovery. They mean so much.
As a newbie 18 months ago I used to get so frustrated at some of the comments from old timers here. Stuff like;
You've got to want to be sober more than you want to drink, it's the first drink that gets you drunk not the last, you need to put as much energy into recovery that you put into drinking....do you have a plan?
But over time I realised these are truths. Hearing them again and again coupled with my own experience of drinking, relapsing and kindling and they begin to become my truths and understanding of where you need to get to, to truly be in recovery. They mean so much.
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Originally Posted by venuscat
Goodnight love.
I reached the final battered and bruised and bloody as well....and I am very glad now. Because I can't ever go back there.
Hope you feel better tomorrow dear Gabe. ♥
I reached the final battered and bruised and bloody as well....and I am very glad now. Because I can't ever go back there.
Hope you feel better tomorrow dear Gabe.
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Off to a meeting this morning. I'm a bit embarrassed to be going back as I was drunk when I was there last weekend. I told them I'd been drinking and everyone said it was ok to stay but it feels really disrespectful. Anyway, more the reason to go! Take it on the chin and participate in a meaningful way.
I'm going from strength to strength now and I feel really determined.
I'd like to say sorry for not contributing to everyone elses posts just now, Im just needing to concentrate on me for a few days then I'm looking forward to being part of supporting everyone else too. Just in case you all thought I was a selfish toad!!
Nervous but hoping to maybe find a sponsor or get some tips about how to do so. It's such a relief to have a large choice of meetings here. Womens meetings and different study groups. In Orkney (tiny island where I was living) there was only three meetings a week, so I feel quite spoiled for choice
I'm just so grateful to be feeling better and that my husband is ok with everything. Have a lovely day today everyone and chin up to those who are still suffering the early days of withdrawals. Love Gabe xx
I'm going from strength to strength now and I feel really determined.
I'd like to say sorry for not contributing to everyone elses posts just now, Im just needing to concentrate on me for a few days then I'm looking forward to being part of supporting everyone else too. Just in case you all thought I was a selfish toad!!
Nervous but hoping to maybe find a sponsor or get some tips about how to do so. It's such a relief to have a large choice of meetings here. Womens meetings and different study groups. In Orkney (tiny island where I was living) there was only three meetings a week, so I feel quite spoiled for choice
I'm just so grateful to be feeling better and that my husband is ok with everything. Have a lovely day today everyone and chin up to those who are still suffering the early days of withdrawals. Love Gabe xx
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Hoping it is a wonderful day for you love.
Bet you do find a sponsor.....or that she finds you.
So glad your husband is supporting you sweety.....this is all really good.
And this is your thread....we are just happy to read and support you. xx
Bet you do find a sponsor.....or that she finds you.
So glad your husband is supporting you sweety.....this is all really good.
And this is your thread....we are just happy to read and support you.
xx
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Hi Kara and welcome - ''Kindling - (in neurology) a process by which a seizure or other brain event is both initiated and its recurrence made more likely.''
I never had a seizure, but did have severe DTs (psychosis - my psychiatrist told me the next day - ''a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.'') while already in the hospital between 48-72 hours into withdrawal. It was a living nightmare. I thought, that's it, I am prone to develop dementia later on or another form of mental illness.
I never had a seizure, but did have severe DTs (psychosis - my psychiatrist told me the next day - ''a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.'') while already in the hospital between 48-72 hours into withdrawal. It was a living nightmare. I thought, that's it, I am prone to develop dementia later on or another form of mental illness.
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venuscat - I had to look it up myself, there are 2 definitions.
1 - easily combustible small sticks or twigs used for starting a fire.
and 2 (stated above) is the one in this case that would be more appropriate.
1 - easily combustible small sticks or twigs used for starting a fire.
and 2 (stated above) is the one in this case that would be more appropriate.
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Good day today. Finally got rid of that crawling feeling the panic. Still anxious and quite weepy. My emotions just feel all over the place. Walked several miles then had lunch with my mum. Spoke to her a bit more about whats going on and showed her where my meetings are. Feels really good to be taking ownership and sharing this stuff.
My Grandad was an alcoholic and mum had a hard time growing up. I always felt I needed to hide it from her as I didn't want to hurt her but I think she wants to support me and is pround I'm doind something about it. She always said she wished they had known how to support him when he was alive.
Excited about meetings too. There is a womens meeting on Tuesday. Met a lovely women yesterday who said its very proactive, I would get a sponsor and work though the steps quickly and with focus. Loads of support. It feels great. I also got to apologise about going drunk last week and felt much better being able to say I was sorry.
Also, got an awesome new haircut to mar k my step forward!! Such a girlie thing to do but it made me feel good. Thanks everyone and best wishes to you all this weekend. Love Gabe xxx
My Grandad was an alcoholic and mum had a hard time growing up. I always felt I needed to hide it from her as I didn't want to hurt her but I think she wants to support me and is pround I'm doind something about it. She always said she wished they had known how to support him when he was alive.
Excited about meetings too. There is a womens meeting on Tuesday. Met a lovely women yesterday who said its very proactive, I would get a sponsor and work though the steps quickly and with focus. Loads of support. It feels great. I also got to apologise about going drunk last week and felt much better being able to say I was sorry.
Also, got an awesome new haircut to mar k my step forward!! Such a girlie thing to do but it made me feel good. Thanks everyone and best wishes to you all this weekend. Love Gabe xxx
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