sweetichick

I have been on and on about my father giving up smoking. It's $27 a packet for a pack of 20s. He gave me a lecture yesterday about vaping. I spent $76 on a litre of vape fluid. He raved on how it was illegal. I don't really care. I couldn't afford smoke and this was my only viable option. AA helped me bought me a vaporiser. Should I just ignore it. Getting a real resentment.

Dee74

at 51 you can do what you want sweetichick!
Its hard I know... but don't get distracted from continuing your recovery

D

sweetichick

Might I add he is a strict Christian and won't ever bend a rule.

Mummyto2

sweetichick

Thanks Dee and mummy. I left home 30 years ago.i won’t let it build into a resentment. It’s my life not his.

ReadyAtLast

what your father does isn't your business. Instead of getting involved in others drama maybe just focus on your sobriety. how did you get on when you got paid? Are you on about day 10 sober now?

Hawkeye13

Sobriety is number one thing Sweeti--all else in your life needs to be background now.

What positive steps can you take towards rebuilding some joy and peace in your life, and leaving the bottle behind for good?

I'm not talking about things that cost money, but in doing daily activities like exercise, being in nature, long hot baths, cleaning and working on making your home more beautiful, eating healthy food, and so on.

Dandelion12

DETACHMENT.

Im currently reading a great deal and learning aboit healthy detachment from other peoples stuff.

Might be helpful. Also codependency.

People from dysfunctional families have many issues relating in a healthy manner.

These issues and feelings surrounding them can lead you to drink.

entropy1964

So if I'm clear you are saying that your AA group bought you a vape? Wow. That is really nice if I'm reading that correctly. Here the money we donate goes to the entire meeting (rent for the room, coffee for everyone, literature for those in need who want the program, maybe some cookies or something...there is also a can to donate to hospitals in institutions).

Your father's 'opinion' is just his. You are an adult.

I would encourage you to feel gratitude for your AA group for doing something for you that would never happen in the circles I am familiar with. Maybe that would help eliminate the somewhat childish resentment toward your father.

Helianthus

Maybe you can bring this up at your next session with your new therapist at the rehab center, how is that going by the way?

I think it is detrimental to your recovery to concentrate on things like this, as you say it's your life not his so what does it matter what he thinks? Sobriety comes before anything.

I also think it would be beneficial to resurrect your accountability thread (yes, you do have one) and post on it at least once a day instead of disappearing once things are going well again, from past experience that is when things go downhill for you.

Here is a link to it https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ty-thread.html (Sweetichicks Accountability Thread)

You have a real chance here Sweeti, it's time to put in the work.

snitch

Use the sick man prayer in step 4. Pray for patience, love and tolerance. God, save from bring angry. God's WIll not my Will be done


We are completely powerless over other people. But we have power over how we react to them. Praying softens the heart and a soft hear full of compassion has no room for resentment.

Anna

Keep focusing on your recovery, Sweeti.

Stable

Delilah1

That was very nice of your recovery group Sweeti. I would definitely shift my focus to that of gratitude, and to what's in my control.

If someone shares something I don't agree with, I will often respond with "Thank you for sharing that with me.". And I don't engage in further conversation, you may want to try that.

Have you hit double digits yet? I think you should have by now.

AnvilheadII

your father is entitled to his opinions. and isn't that just some new/old drama to distract you? how is your sobriety holding up?

hellrzr

I hope I'm wrong but it sounds like you are allowing this to build up into something that you will use to justify drinking again. It's never our fault ya know, it's always someone else who causes us to drink. ; )

Perhaps you can think of it from his perspective. No matter how old you are you will always be his little girl. He loves you and wants to see you live a good life. Things likes smoking, even vaping, and drinking can shorten that life and make it less good for many reasons. On the other hand like many have already mentioned, you are an adult and make your own decisions.

bexxed

i hope you can keep your eyes on the prize and tune him out, Sweeti. It’s something you’ll read later and be thankful you let pass. xo-b

kinzoku

Where on earth is vaping illegal?

Dee74

Its restricted in Australia - my and sweeti's part anyway - in terms of places where it can be smoked and its illegal to have liquid nicotine as its legally a poison here.

D

kinzoku

That is nuts!

It is ubiquitous here. Sorry haha this is off-topic.