sweetichick

I'm on day 2 of withdrawals again and this time has to be my last. Yesterday I could barely stand up and today I'm having trouble walking. I was on 4 bottles a day of wine by the end. I took out a loan from a pawnbroker to buy alcohol. I'm having bad liver pains and arent in a good shape physically. I nearly drank myself to death this time and woke up passed out on the lounge room floor having no idea how I got there. If I'd passed out on the tiles I may have bled to death. I have no idea how to stop this insanity; except no alcohol period. Not two bottles every 3 or 4 days, not when I get a craving, not when I feel like I am going crazy, not ever. I know it will be a long and difficult road ahead but its the only solution except death. I can see this clearly now. I'm ending to go back to AA once I feel a little better. I don't want to be another statistic.

Dee74

Hi sweetichick

I'm soirry you drank but I'm glad you're back.

Things sound pretty rough - maybe it's time for a stronger plan.

AA is a good idea - but don't put it off til you feel better - you'll likely rationalise you don't need it then?

D

sweetichick

Day 2 done and dusted. I had a weak moment of craving when I got some bad news about my mum's health. I managed to get through the moment.

FarToGo

I wish you strength, do whatever you can to stop / get help.
xx

MidnightRider

Good going making it through the craving.
Wins like this make us stronger.
Best to you this evening.

sweetichick

Thanks Midnight and Far to Go, I'm having terrible trouble with my assignment due Tuesday night. It doesn't balance and I have no idea what's wrong. Normally I would throw in the towel for the day and go to the pub so this is a new experience for me; getting through it sober.

Trees39

Gosh. This really pains me to hear 4 bottles a day. I wish and pray that you won't pick up again.
Go day 2.
I'm on day 4 and I want sobriety for you, it will reinforce it for me.

sweetichick

Hey Trees, I'm actually on day 3 now and feeling so much better. I couldn't go back to the pain of drinking again; I don't think I'd make it back. Congratulations on day 2.

Dee74

Hope your mum is ok - and good luck on the assessment.

D

sweetichick

Thanks Dee for the encouragement. Its the start of day 4 now. I got through day 3 by having a really early night. Glad to have made it this far.

Soberwolf

Grats on day 4 x

sweetichick

I'm so depressed. I had to hand in an asessment which was unsatisfactory. Hopefully they give me a second attempt but without feedback, I've got no idea where I went wrong. That's what happens when you drink and try to study at the same time. Bad news!

sweetichick

I still had one more day to go but got up at 3am to work on it and knew I wouldn't be able to figure it out; so I just submitted it. Maybe I will finally get some sleep now.

Dee74

Hi sweetichick

I'm not sure what percentage this is of your final grade but I had some bad assessments too and a bad class here or there but my overall grades were still good..

You can really commit yourself to recovery now and make sure that any other assessment coming you'll give it all you've got

D

sweetichick

At Tafe, I see you are in Aussie, you have to pass each assessment but get 2 attempts. Just thought I'd explain that. I'm so down, never put in what wasnt my best work before even years ago.

Dee74

Thanks sweetichick - no never been to TAFE

In the end, your qualification will be just as good as anyone else's though, right?

D

sweetichick

I didn't realise how hard this would be when I signed up for sobriety. Ive basically taken drinking off the table as an option and didn't realise how much the sleep deprivation, anxiety and depression would really hit me.

Dee74

Try and remember tho - this is the initial transitional period.

It's not how life will be forever - I promise....

no one would stay sober if that was true

My first month after my last drink was hard, but no harder than the drinking life that bought me here...

after a month things started to get a lot better for me

Hang in there

D

sweetichick

thanks Dee, I really needed that encouragement. I can do a month like this. Today I am seeing my shrink, not that he really does much except hand out meds.

sweetichick

My assessment came back with all the mistakes highlighted so it shouln't take too long to fix up. All I want to do is drink atm not used to facing these things sober.