In a dark place - need some help
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I can relate. I have also been arrested multiple times, lost jobs, relationships, and material possessions. I have also tried everything. Rehab, therapy, AA, but still relapse.
I have no problem sobering up, but usually don't make it a month before falling off the wagon. I guess I am so lost in general that I can't seem to find reasons not to drink. I am resigned to my fate and I guess I don't care what happens to me. I am a compulsive liar when drinking and will lie to myself the most.
I won't stop trying though.
I have no problem sobering up, but usually don't make it a month before falling off the wagon. I guess I am so lost in general that I can't seem to find reasons not to drink. I am resigned to my fate and I guess I don't care what happens to me. I am a compulsive liar when drinking and will lie to myself the most.
I won't stop trying though.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan 
I hear in folks tones that they think I haven’t given AA and honest try. I have had at least 10 sponsors, and some of them were great. I have worked the steps. I have been easily to 1,000 meetings over 20 years. I used to get the pink clouds. I don’t even get them anymore. I have lost all faith in AA. We’ve all heard that no one is too dumb for AA, but some of us are too smart. I’m not saying I’m some kind of genius, but it just doesnt stick with me. I still talk to my last sponsor very frequently. He is a special human. Most other sponsors never even ******* called when I stopped going to meetings. Not him. He’s a great man.
Did any of quit with anything but the 12 steps? Did any of you make it with therapy and some other combination of treatment?
Did any of quit with anything but the 12 steps? Did any of you make it with therapy and some other combination of treatment?
Of all the things I have learned, going to one meeting a week, (your average) and having a sponsor, and even claiming to have worked the steps will not keep anyone sober or connected to God if I don't actually practice them as a way of life.
The ones that stay are the ones that try to live a principled, selfless life, clean up their past, and sponsor (for want of a better word) others. I give it away to keep it and in giving it away I am rewarded immensely.
The most common theme among people with time who relapse is they were not sponsoring.
I just notice you don't mention sponsoring or God, but talk rather like a person who might have placed their dependence upon fellow humans and been disappointed when they let you down. Right there is the reason a higher power is so important. I have yet to meet the sponsor who can get anyone sober. The truth is that by sponsoring they get to stay sober themselves. One of the best kept secrets in AA.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Originally Posted by Gottalife
I Guess I was one of the stupid ones who came to AA, a hopeless case, only when I had run out of other options. Once there I gullably followed their suggestions to the best of my understanding and am now approaching 40 years sober.
Of all the things I have learned, going to one meeting a week, (your average) and having a sponsor, and even claiming to have worked the steps will not keep anyone sober or connected to God if I don't actually practice them as a way of life.
The ones that stay are the ones that try to live a principled, selfless life, clean up their past, and sponsor (for want of a better word) others. I give it away to keep it and in giving it away I am rewarded immensely.
The most common theme among people with time who relapse is they were not sponsoring.
I just notice you don't mention sponsoring or God, but talk rather like a person who might have placed their dependence upon fellow humans and been disappointed when they let you down. Right there is the reason a higher power is so important. I have yet to meet the sponsor who can get anyone sober. The truth is that by sponsoring they get to stay sober themselves. One of the best kept secrets in AA.
Of all the things I have learned, going to one meeting a week, (your average) and having a sponsor, and even claiming to have worked the steps will not keep anyone sober or connected to God if I don't actually practice them as a way of life.
The ones that stay are the ones that try to live a principled, selfless life, clean up their past, and sponsor (for want of a better word) others. I give it away to keep it and in giving it away I am rewarded immensely.
The most common theme among people with time who relapse is they were not sponsoring.
I just notice you don't mention sponsoring or God, but talk rather like a person who might have placed their dependence upon fellow humans and been disappointed when they let you down. Right there is the reason a higher power is so important. I have yet to meet the sponsor who can get anyone sober. The truth is that by sponsoring they get to stay sober themselves. One of the best kept secrets in AA.
This is brilliant. Thank you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi BeABetterMan
I hope you come beck to look at this thread cos I think you have a bigger problem than AA or not.
You said yourself you're in a dark place and needed help - but you've only been back to post again in this thread once
In 5 years you've posted here 14 times.
I',m not saying any of this to shame you or anything like that - but I will say that stopping drinking took the most effort I've ever had to put into anything in my life.
My life was all about drinking. I had to change my life to stop drinking.
You can't wing this, you can't half ass it, its not a result you can cram for and you can't kinda sorta commit.
I really believe that if you committed to real lasting change, you'd find that things changed a lot for you.
I'm not pushing any one method - people get sober with AA and without...you can try SMART or Iifering or Rational Recovery or a Christian programme or a Buddhist one...
even just posting here regularly and asking for help is better than nothing and works for many, me included..
If whatever you're doing, you're still drinking on it, it's not enough - you need more man.
I hope you decide to do what it takes to get out of the 'dark place'.
D
I hope you come beck to look at this thread cos I think you have a bigger problem than AA or not.
You said yourself you're in a dark place and needed help - but you've only been back to post again in this thread once
In 5 years you've posted here 14 times.
I',m not saying any of this to shame you or anything like that - but I will say that stopping drinking took the most effort I've ever had to put into anything in my life.
My life was all about drinking. I had to change my life to stop drinking.
You can't wing this, you can't half ass it, its not a result you can cram for and you can't kinda sorta commit.
I really believe that if you committed to real lasting change, you'd find that things changed a lot for you.
I'm not pushing any one method - people get sober with AA and without...you can try SMART or Iifering or Rational Recovery or a Christian programme or a Buddhist one...
even just posting here regularly and asking for help is better than nothing and works for many, me included..
If whatever you're doing, you're still drinking on it, it's not enough - you need more man.
I hope you decide to do what it takes to get out of the 'dark place'.
D
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