Clarity51

Thanks. February 25th sounds like a great sober date! I will check it out. I appreciate you all so very much! As you can probably tell, i've been clinging to this site since this morning and will continue to do so all day. It has helped me not feel so alone.

Anna

Katlyne, I believe that we all deserve a good life. Alcoholism makes us believe that we don't deserve anything good in our life and so, we continue to drink. I know I did. Take the leap of faith you need to, and focus on sobriety. You can do this.

Clarity51

Thank you so much, Anna! I beginning to feel that I just might survive today. (Wasn't so sure of that this morning). Therefore, that means there is still hope for me!

Petecrab

bloss

Glad you are here, I found getting online whenever I felt that "feeling" really helped. You and everyone here deserves to be sober, don't give up.
bloss

dafunbra

I'm on here reading a lot even when I'm not posting. And my workout regimen is increasing. Trying to always stay busy and and have my mind occupied. I remember those mornings all too well, and I don't ever want to have another one. Or even worse, coming out of my blackout in a cell. Don't miss that, either.

Midwest1981

Katlyne- I am glad to hear you plan on going to a AA meeting tomorrow. I hope you are feeling better.

Clarity51

Wow! Waking up in a jail cell would be horrible! If I dont stop...one of these days I will get a DUI. Thank you guys, for all of your replies. It has helped me alot! And as to how im doing, I'm alot better than i was. I've drank alot of water and I managed to eat a little bit at lunch. So far, i have stayed busy and tried to focus on doing a good job. I only have 2 hours to go. No matter what else I feel, at least I am glad that I pushed myself to come to work. If I wouldn't have done that I would feel a million times worse and would very possibly be having to find another job. Im looking forward to seeing my child tonight and going to bed sober! (She stayed overnight at her sister's last night).

Clarity51

Thank you Midwest! I have an appointment in the morning and then im going to a noon meeting. Im looking forward to it!

snitch

I'm glad to read you are feeling better.

You have nearly got though the worst day ever. Day one. And you never have to have a day one again.

Stay close

xx

TheWayBack

"I've just tried to moderate my drinking."

I think I used to do that about once a week, or at least several times a month. I was never serious. Occasionally, I'd skip a day or three and once I think I went about a month. I was not serious about it, of course. After a few days or a week, I'd just say to myself 'You done great, now time for a beer to celebrate'.

Also, cannot count the times I've worked after drinking heavily. I sort of had to since I was drinking heavily all of the time. But I managed. Until it got to where I would feel so bad, I'd just skip work, more and more often.

Since like most here, you're probably never going to moderate, the sooner you quit, the better. The consequences will always get worse, never less, until you stop.

Clarity51

Thank you snitch and Theway. I am finally home and am about to lay down and watch tv. I ate some dinner and am drinking more water. I am so tired of doing this to myself. Of putting myself thru this hell. I have not been taking my problem serious enough, thats for sure. I drink like tomorrow will never come and spend alot of money as if I have it to blow...which i most certainly do not. So im going to have to put some effort in this time. I want to thank you all again for you replies and support. It means everything. I hope you all have a good and sober night. Hopefully, i will feel alot better tomorrow.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back Katlyne - to me it's a lot easier not to drink at all than try 'moderating', which usually meant binge drinking for me.

D

snitch

Morning Katlyne,

I hope you a new feeling a bit better today.

Exactly what Dee said!!

Also, good luck with AA. AA saved my life and now it is changing my life!

X x

Clarity51

Hi, Dee and Snitch! Thank you! I am feeling a million times better than yesterday...just a little tired. I wish i could have slept more. I feel like i need a good 10 to 12 hours of sleep to catch up. But i have things to do today. As soon as i get my errands ran, im going to a meeting. I hope everyone has a great day! Oh, btw, someone on here recommended A Star is Born. I watched it last night. I loved it. I cried. A very good movie that really depicts what it's like to live with addiction. May God bless you all!

August252015

And then start taking the steps to live a sober life. If you don't drink today, you will feel better tomorrow and if you decide not to drink tomorrow, you can think of what to do NOW to stop drinking for good. Lots of good ideas, plans and support here.

Hollydoll

I am going through the same experience as you, in regards to drinking twice a week on average. I drank on Saturday and ended up calling my abusive ex- boyfriend again. I feel like **** this week TBH. I'm trying to study ,deal with the emotional abuse of my ex in my head from that night, and hide that I drank and saw my ex- from my mother.


Im doing much better now as i used to drink everyday at one point . im aiming to be sober all throughout march im desperate to reach my goal of four months sober x

PhoenixJ

Prayers sent

Clarity51

Thanks August, Holly and Phoenix! I use my phone on this site and i havent figured out to respond to a specific reply yet. Im really sorry to hear that your struggling too, Holly. But im glad youre sober right now! My appt took longer then I thought it would so I missed the noon time meetings. I got online and couldnt find any meetings at 1:30. (That wouldve given me time to go to a meeting before picking up my daughter from school). I called the hotline to double check and they said the next meetings are at 5:30 pm and I can't go at that time. I guess i will wipe the dust off of my big book and do some reading. I also have the twelve steps and twelve traditions book and I've only opened it once before. I think I will see what kind of information that book has. I know that I'm going to have to do something different this time. Just hoping that I wont want to drink in a few days doesn't work and I've been fooling myself for a long time that it will. Just sweeping it under the rug and pretending its all gonna go away....that I can be a normal drinker anytime I want too. Anyway, blessings to you all! Day 2!

NerfThis

Sadly that's the cycle nearly everyone goes through. Drink heavily, fill with anxiety and despair, reach out for help while filled with desperation. A few days pass, the weekend comes and magically we feel better and that if we drink this time, we've got this. We're now the magical masters of moderation!

Except what actually happens is the weekend benders become worse and worse and we aren't suddenly able to magically moderate. At some point the cycle has to stop. I was trapped in it too, but one day I had to put an end to it. I accepted that I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink.