a fallen man

I know this is the newcomers thread but I just wanted to drop in and say hey. I also wanted to let folks know that you can stop. I did. I did it entirely through this website and this group here.

I quit on September 8, 2009. I was crushing 16-20 ounces of 90 proof vodka per night so I could fall asleep (pass out). I am NOT bragging about that. Just giving a baseline of where I was. I quit cold turkey and didn’t sleep for 3 days. I learned from reading here that was a very bad idea and should have used my GP for help in weaning. I wish I had but what has already happened already happened. I advise anyone that is at that level of poisoning yourself to follow these people’s advice and use medical help if you can.

All that said I can say I’m living the best years of my life. I’m 59 now. I retired at 55 because I had a very solid retirement. My wife could no longer drive and our kids were gone so she was basically in jail until I got off work. That’s one of the reasons I retired.

Since quitting I’ve been able to take care of her extrovert needs (taking her places) which isn’t easy for me because I can hermit with the best. My mother in law is 89 and I do all her shopping and running her to doctor visits. I do all the work on her house and yard which is ample. I mow and take care of my mom and dad’s place too.

Saving the best for last. We watch our first and only granddaughter every Tuesday and Thursday to help out my son and daughter in law. Everyone says “you just wait until you have grandchildren”. Well, it’s true. Absolutely nothing like them.

There’s no way I could have done all the things I’m doing now if I were still drinking. I can’t imagine watching my granddaughter and slipping off for ‘just a little bite’ of my poison. I sometimes catch myself cringing and thinking about where I was as a person. I wasn’t mean or anything like that but when you’re drunk every non-working hour that’s a sad place to be.

I did not want to go the AA route. I’m not hating on them by any means. Anyone that is helping others are to be applauded in my book. It’s just not what I wanted.

I used this place. Entirely. I was never a very active poster but I was a very active reader. This place was my new drug. I learned so much about alcoholism from here. It helped me go through what so many others had gone through and laid out for me.

I’m in pretty dang good shape for a 59 year old man. I’m 5’11 and did go from 165 lean vodka pounds to 190 not so lean happy man pounds. My brain functions better than it has in a long time. I was in a fairly high pressure job but was always able to do my job even while in my alcoholic daze. But looking back it would have been so much better to be where I am now cognitively.

I want to thank the people that make this place possible. You people are doing a very, very positive thing. You are saving lives and that is not hyperbole. I had an ER doctor tell me at 48 to keep doing what I was doing and I’d be gone in 5-10 years. Well, thankfully I quit what I was doing and am now at 11 years since those words were spoken. All my liver numbers are great. Other than the extra poundage my bloodwork is stellar.

Thank you folks that make this place available.

For all you newcomers. I was you. I promise. I have no reason to make this up. I haven’t even visited here in a couple years. I felt everything you’re going through now. But this September will be 10 years. Of living life. Good life. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns but life isn’t. But it’s hella better life than before.

Your friend,

A Fallen Man.

Evoo

What a beautiful post. Congrats on your wonderful family and your success and sobriety. I have a newborn son (my first) and I've made the decision to never drink again -- every time I hold him I think the same thing.

God bless.

WhoDeyPI

Sounds like The Fallen Man found his way back up. Thanks for the message. I'm truly thankful for this page and all those on it. I was told 6 months ago I'd be gone in 4-5 years, and I'm only 31. Hoping my life changes have changed that path.

least

Good to see you again and hear your happy news!

brighterday1234

a fallen man

Bless you amigo. I apologize that I don’t contribute. But thank you for you and people like you that have been around since I first looked at this place. You’re a saint!

AmbyMarie

SoberCAH

Thanks for sharing this uplifting post, FM.

And congrats on your 11 years.

I'm just a few years older than you and have been sober a good while as well.

You pretty much take the words out of my mouth as to your experiences, although I have followed the AA route.

It's great for others to know that happiness, utility and contentment are attainable once we get sober, albeit not all at once, of course.

Delilah1

Congrats on the many blessings sobriety has brought you, and thanks for such an uplifting post!!

Doris47

I got goosebumps reading this, I'm early days but I have hope and determination. Thank you for posting
22 days
11 hrs
55 mins
And counting 🙏💖

Highercall

Atlast9999

Dee74

Great to hear from you AFM and congrats on all the good things you got going on

D

yinzer

Awesome post! Thanks for sharing and glad life is going so well!

spiderqueen

Incredible, absolutely brilliant! Thank you so much for sharing your story.

I recently went to a memorial for my beloved alcoholic ex, who was also told at 48 that he would be dead in 5 years if he kept up his drinking. He died last September at age 53 of liver failure. I wish he could have read your post before it was too late. But I am certain many others will. Thank you again.

Hevyn

I'm so glad you stopped by to tell us the good news, A Fallen Man. It's wonderful you were able to reclaim your life & get free of it. Congratulations on your upcoming 10 yrs. of sobriety. I know your post will help to encourage many. Thank you!

TheWayBack

Hi, and congrats on quitting the 'poison' when you did and instead enjoying your life.

"I sometimes catch myself cringing and thinking about where I was as a person. I wasn’t mean or anything like that but when you’re drunk every non-working hour that’s a sad place to be."

You're the same age as me and you sounded exactly the way I was when I drank. I'd finish work and sit at my computer desk and drink until I passed out, every single day. And you're right, you wouldn't be doing any of the things you're doing now, if you were still drinking.

I continued doing it until it nearly killed me. Then I stopped. Hopefully, I'll be telling happy stories like you are, 10 years from now of no drinking.

a fallen man

Bless you Evoo. Nobody can ever make US do it. But it sure is nice to think that it will not only positively affect us but it will affect our loved ones positively as well. I honestly cannot imagine snuggling with my little (sharp as heck) little stick of dynamite doll and having her ask me what that smell is on my breath. Because she would! Lol. You know the littles ones have zero filter.

a fallen man

I hope you do too AmbyMarie. You’re in the right place to get it going. When I first quit I had a desk calendar and I put an X through every single day. It’s amazing how fast you hit significant dates. A day. A week. A month. A hundred days. The next thing you know you’re crossing off a year. I can’t remember when I finally quit marking X’s but it was a long time. My thoughts go out to you amiga.

a fallen man

It makes me feel good to hear from someone like you too. My brother who was hitting it as hard as I did ended up quitting a few months after me. He used a rehab place and AA to get clean. So he’s right there with us. He and I discuss how much better it is now in every aspect. He ended up raising a grandson as a son now and he tells me how much of a difference sobriety has made in letting him do that properly. He didn’t quit because of me. We were both just train wrecks at the same time. Imagine that. Alkies in the family tree. Lol.