Torii

Good call, one thing at a time, for sure. Congrats on getting to AA!

Torii

Have I mentioned how much you remind me of me at times on the weekend I can stay in bed on my phone for 4 hours easily.

Congrats on day 3, I find that the first minestrone for me, it's harder than it sounds. I spent years being unable to get to day three.

Credit cards are evil. When I was doing better at being sober I was shocked by how much extra money I had. That will certainly help, when you're in the right place to start a plan for them.

Good luck finding your hobby what sort of stuff did you used to enjoy (other than driving of course)?

Good job with the meeting, keep on keeping on.

Marsalie

I still enjoy driving, and actually do it quite a bit because I'm new in this town and haven't seen much of it really. It's been so long since I had anything in my life that didn't also involve drinking, I can't really say what I used to enjoy. How lame is that?

Didn't care much for this meeting. I know there are lots to choose from though so I'll go back again tomorrow. The theme was anger and dealing with it. At the start, I thought to myself that I'm not really angry with anyone and have never really had anger issues. I'm usually the shameful feeling one, deserving of everyone's anger. But I left the meeting feeling irritable. I wasn't angry before, but now I'm moderately grumpy?

Torii

I am not an AA person, I can't get past step 2, unfortunately, but I have seen how effective the program is. It's worth working, keep trying to see if it's a good fit.

I know what you mean, re hobbies. Though I meant to type "except Drinking" not driving, but I use swipe to type in my phone and didn't catch the typo, oops . I do love a good drive out in the country though, makes me want to keep driving. I can't remember what I used to like to do. Play the computer and drink.

I've been a bit more interested in music lately, plus I'm trying to watch all the Marvel cinematic universe stuff, since I've not seen them before. Maybe it's good to try some new hobbies, stuff that doesn't remind you of drinking? Do you like gardening, or trying to grow some nice pot plants, flowers or herbs or something? Cooking? Could work into your goals for weight loss when you're ready for that one

Hope you've had a good sober day.

August252015

Marsalie....just one thought. Have you worked as a server before? How do you think the environment w a bar and serving people alcohol would be for you- right now? (Not many full service restaurants are dry these days, at least here). I ask bc I have worked in the restaurant world about the last 10 yrs- when drinking and since I got sober. I was completely committed to sobriety and working a strong AA program when I returned to serving about 5 mo in- after I had worked 3-4 mo at a fast food place.

I lead a restaurant industry recovery group and firmly believe we can be sober anywhere- but I also think it takes good consideration if it's right for the individual.

Just my "cautionary flag" jumping out at me.

Marsalie

I have given that some thought August, and I really don't feel bothered by it. I worked for years as both a server and bartender prior to entering my current profession. I don't know that I'll be pushing it so far as to getting a bartending job, but when I'm working as a server, neither the food or drink is really appealing to me. It's just an object to be processed somehow? I think it also helps that drinking at work has so far never been a line I was willing to cross (not that it wouldn't have finally happened someday I'm sure).

My financial mess is almost as heavy on my heart as my alcohol mess and I really want to be spending any time I can give to fixing it, especially since my new job is a pretty large pay cut for now.

Thanks for thinking of me though Any other tricky things I might be missing, I hope you or anyone here will speak up.

Day 4. Feeling marginally better than yesterday, again, and loads better than day 1. Still that mildly confused with silly things..easily distracted. It is an amazing thing to wake up and not immediately launch into misery and self loathing. I haven't felt this rested in ages. Actually, I'm almost spending too much time sleeping and have got to work toward getting a more grown up sleep schedule. I can't be laying around until 10 or later every morning. I've been taking a sleep aid the past 3 nights and tonight I guess I just need to take my lumps and struggle, get up at a normal time, then hopefully be tired the next night.

I also need an intervention for another substance. It has also been very progressive. In fact the first time I tried it, I didn't even like it! Freakin La Croix water!!! I started out not liking them, progressed to 2 or so a day, and yesterday drank about 6!

OH..sorry this is getting long but..I am looking into SMART recovery. I ordered the workbook and have really been reading and watching vids on it. I really like the removal of labels and the straightforward tools. I am going to continue to go to AA meetings for now, just for the company, but I'm really struggling with quite a few things about it. Totally not knocking it, please don't anyone think that, but I think I'd be able to give 100% to smart, or maybe even something else.

At the end of it though..I'm just not going to drink. Period.

Torii

Great point, August, I didn't even register that one. My husband is an ex bartender (what a surprise, that's how we met), but I've never been in the hospitality industry, except tourism.

Marsalie, thanks for your post and the info about smart. I've looked it up quickly (I need to get ready for work or I'll be late) - I don't know what I thought it was, but it seems really interesting, I'm going to look into it.

I might shoot you a pm later, if that's ok, just to check in and say hi

Off to work now.

Marsalie

Please feel free Torii!

Holy bananas I was grouchy and sad this afternoon. Just kind of a hot mess. Every little thing was making me mad.

For one thing, I missed the training that happened today at the place I most wanted to get a part time job at. They'll be putting another one together in a few weeks, but I don't know if I'll be able to get the time off my full time job to do it, so that's probably a wash. Had I not been laying in bed feeling like death Friday, I could have applied and probably gotten it.

Then, I got really hungry. But not just any food would do, I want broccoli cheese soup. And not canned. So I had to go through the grocery store.

Basically, I pushed hungry and grouchy a little too far and I'm damned lucky I didn't also make a stop for something tasty to drink. Instead, I am sitting here reading and typing, having a little time out, and have eaten half a package of Tofifay candy, which weirdly enough has helped. Now I'm going to go make the damned soup and watch netflix.

Kind of a 47 year old tantrum today. But hey, I didn't drink.