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Old 01-14-2019, 01:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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About go out and buy one bottle


No particular reason. Just been arguing with myself all afternoon about it. Want the pain to end.
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Old 01-14-2019, 01:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Please change your mind about that idea. A bottle isn't going to help you.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Please change your mind about that idea. A bottle isn't going to help you.
That's a good point.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Is there anything that I can do to help you, Sweetichick? I know that it's hard to be thinking about what's going through your mind right now.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:07 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I hope you change your mind.

One thing I learned is there is no change without change.

if we keep doing the same things we always did we'll get the same results - the only difference is things get worse.

I know going to an AA meeting instead tonight would have been a lot more effort - but if you can't convince yourself you're worth that extra effort, who else here can convince you?

We can only share our experience and advice. None of us can get you sober.

Its time for you to take the reins back, sweetichick.

I know this is not the life you want - whats stopping you from fighting for the life you want?

D
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I have changed my mind. One might lead to two. Not worth the risk.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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If you want this pain to end then you need to stay sober and not buy a bottle. It will never end if you continue to drink and that I can guarantee you. Ring the Samaritans, cook something, have a bubble bath, just ride the craving out. It will pass, they always pass.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:23 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Is there anything that I can do to help you, Sweetichick? I know that it's hard to be thinking about what's going through your mind right now.
Nothing much going through just that everything seems hopeless. I am worried I am not up to the commitment AA requires. Plus just tired. Got up at 430 am.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:27 AM   #9 (permalink)
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If you want this pain to end then you need to stay sober and not buy a bottle. It will never end if you continue to drink and that I can guarantee you. Ring the Samaritans, cook something, have a bubble bath, just ride the craving out. It will pass, they always pass.
Thanks Mantal. Maybe it's in my head. Just want what I can't have.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:57 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone for stopping me.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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You still here Sweetie? Hang in there, the more you make a choice not to listen to your AV and say NO to it the easier it will get. Practice makes perfect! The AV doesn’t care about you, it doesn’t care that alcohol is killing you. However I know you care and don’t want to end up dead otherwise you wouldn’t be reaching out right now, and we at SR also care so don’t let it tell you what to do, say NO and keep saying NO!!
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:05 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I have to say also that I am really proud of you for posting first, we promised we’d be here for you if you did and please keep doing it whenever you need to and feel the AV is winning. Well done Sweetie! x
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:11 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I am worried I am not up to the commitment AA requires.
you can't live ninety days at once - just take them day by day like everyone else sweetichick

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Old 01-14-2019, 03:11 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Good job posting first like Manta said

It does get better--push through
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"There's almost as many terms and gradations for drinkers like us as there are stars in the sky.

All the study in the world - and all the subjective hierarchies - won't get people sober. . .

Only action can do that."


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Old 01-14-2019, 03:12 AM   #15 (permalink)
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It really is as simple as doing everything possible but not drinking. If that means getting into bed, pulling the covers over your head and closing your eyes, that is what you must do.

I would get intense anxiety, feel like I would be going out of my mind, but all you do when you give in and drink, you are reinforcing your brain that when I get a craving = alcohol and nothing ever changes, you are back to poisoning yourself with drink.

You need to retrain your brain that alcohol is not the solution. Everytime you ride a craving out, the next one gets easier. Sure, sometimes you get a major craving out of nowhere in the future, but they get less and less until they disappear altogether.

Drinking is clearly not working for you, stop living in the here and now and start thinking about the medium to long term. Dependency on alcohol is not going to get you better. It will only lead to more pain and suffering.
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Old 01-14-2019, 04:39 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone for your support. I will reply individually tomorrow.
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Old 01-14-2019, 04:52 AM   #17 (permalink)
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sweetichick- good for you for coming here! As Mantalady said..the more you do it the easier it will get. Just work on getting through one day. Do you have any hobbies? Anything you like to do? I know for me if I exercise it really helps me mentally. Unfortunately I broke my leg two months ago and could not do anything at all for 7 weeks.Finally got the cast off last week and was able to go swimming yesterday. Just plunging into that water and being able to move my legs was so freeing. If there is anything...anything you enjoy doing in life that you can fall back on when the AV voice hits? Thinking of you.......
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Old 01-14-2019, 06:41 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Sweeti, I know now that one of the main reasons I drank was boredom. When I had to stop drinking because of my health, I was left with so much time on my hands I couldn't believe it. So I rekindled an affair I had many many years ago with a great love of my life. Embroidery work and needlepoint. It was and is a lifesaver for me, especially in those early days when the cravings were so intense, I did not know how I would get thru the next minute. I now have some pretty amazing pieces of art in my collection, even ones I designed myself.

When I got my mind off of alcohol, in the beginning, for an hour or two at a time, I knew I had a much better chance to recover. Soon, I was sewing 6 or 7 or 8 hours a day, with barely a craving. And when they did happen, I'd just concentrate on the project I was working on, and the cravings had no chance of winning.

Do you like to do anything with your hands, Sweeti? Drawing, sewing, I was even coloring for a while.

Try to get busy and stay that way. You can do it. You are stronger than you think.

God Bless you, Sweeti.
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Old 01-14-2019, 06:49 AM   #19 (permalink)
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You've made a huge step by posting before you went out to buy alcohol. I have been following your story on SR and am really happy to see that this time you reached out to the forum and changed your decision.
You have a lot of support here and you used it very well today
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Old 01-14-2019, 06:53 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Well done. And thanks for helping keep me sober today . X
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