Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 17
Hi
I've struggled with alcohol for the last decade. I want to make a change, and I'm just not sure where to start. I've tried so many things in the past (tapering, cold turkey, Sinclair method etc.), so I'm not feeling incredibly hopeful or optimistic. My last day without any alcohol was probably over 2 months ago. I only drink beer for the most part, around 5 on weeknights and even more excessive on weekends.
I'm 28 years old, and I feel like I've wasted my 20s. The thought of tonight scares me. I'm just not feeling much hope.
I just need support, tips, advice, and guidance.
Thanks for reading.
I'm 28 years old, and I feel like I've wasted my 20s. The thought of tonight scares me. I'm just not feeling much hope.
I just need support, tips, advice, and guidance.
Thanks for reading.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Jasper and Welcome!
Know for sure that you can live a sober life, as many of us here do.
Find whatever works for you and make a plan for recovery and stick with it. And, I hope that you keep posting and reading here at SR for support.
Know for sure that you can live a sober life, as many of us here do.
Find whatever works for you and make a plan for recovery and stick with it. And, I hope that you keep posting and reading here at SR for support.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello Jasper, and welcome.
You're very wise to realize you may have a problem now.
I drank heavily all through my twenties and never thought I had a problem, even though, I wouldn't go more than a couple days without drinking.
At that age, I thought I was bullet proof. It would take me another fifteen years to really come to the realization that I had a problem.
So good for you for taking action now, while you're still young.
You've got your whole life in front of you. You can do it without drinking. Have you tried AA?
It certainly helped me when I finally was deep into alcoholism in my forties.
See? That's how long it took me to realize I had a problem.
Save yourself some misery. Alcoholism, if unchecked, only gets worse as time goes on.
At the end I was drinking a lot every day. I couldn't stop without help and AA helped. So did coming here.
I haven't had a drink now for almost ten years. And at the end, I was a bad drunk. Drinking at 8am. Whiskey then beer.
Best to you, my friend. You've found a good place for support.
You say you haven't drank in awhile, so you're already off to a good start. And remember, you never have to drink again.
You're very wise to realize you may have a problem now.
I drank heavily all through my twenties and never thought I had a problem, even though, I wouldn't go more than a couple days without drinking.
At that age, I thought I was bullet proof. It would take me another fifteen years to really come to the realization that I had a problem.
So good for you for taking action now, while you're still young.
You've got your whole life in front of you. You can do it without drinking. Have you tried AA?
It certainly helped me when I finally was deep into alcoholism in my forties.
See? That's how long it took me to realize I had a problem.
Save yourself some misery. Alcoholism, if unchecked, only gets worse as time goes on.
At the end I was drinking a lot every day. I couldn't stop without help and AA helped. So did coming here.
I haven't had a drink now for almost ten years. And at the end, I was a bad drunk. Drinking at 8am. Whiskey then beer.
Best to you, my friend. You've found a good place for support.
You say you haven't drank in awhile, so you're already off to a good start. And remember, you never have to drink again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 64
Tonight is just a night. You can get through this night w/o drinking and this night will pass. Think of tomorrow and how happy you will feel for staying the course today. Be good to yourself and give yourself the gift of being sober today. Stick close to SR for support. Tonight is just a night. You can do this!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome, Jasper! This is a great place for encouragement as you get sober.
I drank 30 yrs. - would give anything to get those precious decades back. You're giving yourself a wonderful gift.
I drank 30 yrs. - would give anything to get those precious decades back. You're giving yourself a wonderful gift.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcoem Jasper 
I wasn't very confident either - but not ingesting any more of the poison, no matter what - had worked out great for me.
Support helps - as does a willingness to change your life to reflect your desire to be sober.
I changed a lot of things - how I solved problems, what I did for stress, how I had fun and with whom - but not for the worse
D
I wasn't very confident either - but not ingesting any more of the poison, no matter what - had worked out great for me.
Support helps - as does a willingness to change your life to reflect your desire to be sober.
I changed a lot of things - how I solved problems, what I did for stress, how I had fun and with whom - but not for the worse
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 17
Thanks
I appreciate the responses. I'm trying to make tonight the first of many. This is the time I would ordinarily be drinking, but I'm not right now. I'm definitely experiencing some anxiety. I'm just trying to surf the urges.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 136
I just read your post JasperD...I am 32. And all my 20’s I’ve been an alcoholic...I brought it into my 30’s even though I told my self I wouldn’t...I’ve tried quiting alcohol a few times but it doesn’t work until you decide that that last drink will be your last....I’m 2 weeks sober tomorrow...small amount of time but we as people have to put it together day after day for sobriety....it’s worth it to not be in that bad space that we have all experienced....stay strong!! sobriety is a better life!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,975
Hi Jasper. Believe in yourself. You can do this. You need to commit to never drinking again no matter what. Sobriety is such a better life. Life will always have its ups and downs with or without drinking. But handling problems sober is so much more productive. And being happy sober- you will feel it more intensely and you won’t forget these moments because you are sober.
Just have a plan ready and visualize it in action for events that may create anxiety.
Also, have a long term plan for sobriety. We are never cured of alcoholism. Recovery is a lifetime journey. SR is a great support forum. I come here every day and feel inspired. I did therapy for a while too. I sill do yoga and meditation. Some also do AA or other groups. Find a path that works for you.
Just have a plan ready and visualize it in action for events that may create anxiety.
Also, have a long term plan for sobriety. We are never cured of alcoholism. Recovery is a lifetime journey. SR is a great support forum. I come here every day and feel inspired. I did therapy for a while too. I sill do yoga and meditation. Some also do AA or other groups. Find a path that works for you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 97
You are in great shape Jasper. Your 30's and 40's are amazing decades of your life. You are giving yourself such a gift planning on spending those years sober. I was drunk for both decades and would give anything to be 28 with your wisdom. You are so young and thankfully very smart. Your best decades are ahead of you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 547
Just take it a day at a time, make a promise to yourself that you will not drink today, just for today. It is much easier if you don't look further than one day at a time. If you struggle, ask for help here, before you drink and someone will always help you, that saved my sobriety in the early days.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 17
Thanks. I've never been one to drink early in the day. The urge usually comes hardest between 7:00 and 9:30 pm on weekdays. Right now, I'm okay. It amazes me how awful you can feel waking up after drinking and swearing not to do it again and how your mind slowly morphs throughout the day to make you feel like a completely different person after dinner that tries to rationalize doing it all over again.
We are not always our thoughts, guys. Our brain tells us that our thoughts are facts, but thoughts can also be fantasy/fiction if the brain thinks it'll get what it wants out of the deal (usually a flood of dopamine).
We are not always our thoughts, guys. Our brain tells us that our thoughts are facts, but thoughts can also be fantasy/fiction if the brain thinks it'll get what it wants out of the deal (usually a flood of dopamine).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 17
Right now there's a brainache (not a headache if that makes sense), a sense of dizziness, increased heart rate, and an urge to vomit. Withdrawal or could I be sick? I know this isn't a place for medical advice, just wondering if these are fairly typical symptoms.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 97
JasperD you should go to an urgent care center or an ER if there is one available to you. Who knows what is going on? Could be the beginning of DT's which is nothing to mess around with. Don't drink my friend. All that will solve is having to climb this hill another day. Do it now.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I forgot to mention a tried and true method to strengthen your recovery. It's practicing gratitude every day. It focuses on the positive and can also make you happier.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
It focuses on the positive and can also make you happier.https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
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