serenitynowplz

Dee74

I had to pick a day and stop. Not a day next week or next year or after Xmas. It needed to be today - there';s no point trying to plan your recovery when you're still drinking.

Hit the sack, drink some water - log on here first thing when you wake up and start reading, posting and planning how you'll stay sober.

Check out our November support thread too:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-13.html

Your addicted self will argue this is a runaway train and there's no point in even trying to stop it, but we both know that's not true

If I can do this, anyone can serenitynowplz

Jules714

I wasnt able to decipher what I was numbing until I stopped numbing. Then I had to deal with those feings. But that is putting cart before the horse. First I had to stop numbing. Withdrawl safely, detox completely, start gathering sober days one day at a time...perseverance is key. Not easy but totally worth it.
You can do it and you're worth the effort. Alcohol will tell you otherwise...thats the disease talking.
You'll be amazed the farther you are from a drink the less you think about one.
Jules

entropy1964

For me the why is because I'm an addict. I had no coping skills for dealing with everyday life....the big stuff and the small stuff. Didn't matter. I coped with booze. Maybe that worked for a while. And then it stopped. I had to face the fact that it will never, ever work again. And that the consequences of my drinking would continue to get worse.

Each day that I go through sober I teach my brain that I can cope without alcohol....its like undoing the lessons that I taught it about alcohol....that it would work. But it happens day by day. Some days are good, some aren't. But not even the worst day sober is as bad as a day drinking. Ever.

You can do this.

wildflower70

Hi Serenity,

I used to ask myself "why"? I wanted to know why I couldn't be a social drinker, why I would drink 2 bottles of wine instead of 2 glasses, why I needed booze to be intimate, why I let booze take away the things I love, why can't I stop??? I had to let go of the "why" and start thinking of "how." How can I be social without drinking, how can I see wine for what it really is to me -poison, how can I learn to love myself, so I can be in a loving, intimate relationship, how can I earn back the trust of those I hurt, and how can I stop??

It starts with the obvious, no drinking, no matter how bad you want to. And then the real work begins, loving yourself enough to make the changes needed to reclaim your health, happiness, and your life.

Like many have said "If I can do it, so can you." I turned drinking into a 30 year career, one that offered no benefits in the end. Please find a way to see the "How can I" rather than the 'Why do I"?

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

biminiblue

Yeah, the "why" doesn't even matter.

Because I'm an alcoholic, that's why. Nature/nurture/past experiences/trauma/hedonism/genetics, it's all of that. I had to face it all with a clear head and it's much easier to sort through sober.

I've heard it said, if your house is on fire you don't go running through the house trying to figure out how it started. You get out of the house.

Only way out is to put it down and not pick it up again no matter what.

Be done.

Anna

You're not stupid and clearly you do know what's happening to you. You just need to make a plan to deal with it. There is no logic involved with alcoholism.

If weekends are your biggest problem, then sit down and come up with a plan for next weekend that will keep you busy and away from alcohol. Getting outside and being active is always a good start. You can do this!

serenitynowplz

Renvate

The more you drink the worse it gets.

You start to be in a crack between two personalities. One is your real personality in panic mode and the other one is the addicted personality that you have created in constant anger mode, that personality is a con artist who tricks you in any way its can to get you to drink.

When i was in the early stages of my alcoholism my real personality did not see the 2nd growing, i was thinking "eh ill stop when i need to"

one day i woke up and realized i have to live with this guy for the rest of my life..

that's me in a crack atm

Once you stop drinking, the AP and AV (addicted personality) will go into turbo mode and this is where even the most will powered people happen to not last a year because it just seems so hopeless.

The cunning thing about that guy is he will convince your normal personality that its ok to drink even at your most successful and strongest times.

That's my take on it anyway,

D122y

Seren,

70 posts shows you have found something here that is worth coming back to.

I figure better treat myself like an alky and be wrong then not and be wrong.

We are all addicted for life. There is a reason. It is a chemical alteration in our brains. When we drink it causes release of dopamine and endorphins. We feel amazing for a short time. We chase the buzz.

This release of dopamine alters natural release, so we crave. It takes many months for this to return to normal.

When it does return, we still crave for life. We like the buzz. But, it is a fleeting high and the healing takes progressively longer.

Thinks long term brain damage....PAWS and kindling. These are for life.

Drinking is tied to emotions. We must analyze our way out. That analysis feels like suffering. Relapse and the whole thing starts over.

Many never make it out.

We here have education.

Things that help are: Posting and reading on sr, Aa, Volunteer work, Meditation, exercise, fiddling in the garage, etc etc etc.

Sir Richard Burton put it like this...If I was not an alky, I was very close to being one. It is a daily struggle...

Thanks.