First AA meeting this evening - nervous
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 46
First AA meeting this evening - nervous
It’s my very first AA meeting this evening - in less than three hours’ time. I live in rural England and my town only has one meeting a week.
I’ve been saying for three, nearly four years now that I’m going to try a meeting but I’ve always backed out. I’ve been as close as having my shoes and coat on but changed my mind at the last minute! I’m so anxious. I’m thinking things like, what if I turn up and nobody is there? What if it’s full of people I know as it’s a small town? What if I have a panic attack? Argh!
I have got to do this now. I’ve wasted nearly four years because I’ve been too nervous to go. Four more years a slave to the bottle
I’m nearly 31 and I don’t want to spend my 30s like I did my 20s - drunk, lonely, no social life or interests. Just living to drink. I don’t like myself. I want know what it’s like to be a rounded person with hobbies and interests and responsibilities, and what it’s like to have self-esteem, because honestly, I have no idea. This is what I want out of sobriety.
So this rambling post is just to publicly commit to going this evening, I guess..
I’ve been saying for three, nearly four years now that I’m going to try a meeting but I’ve always backed out. I’ve been as close as having my shoes and coat on but changed my mind at the last minute! I’m so anxious. I’m thinking things like, what if I turn up and nobody is there? What if it’s full of people I know as it’s a small town? What if I have a panic attack? Argh!
I have got to do this now. I’ve wasted nearly four years because I’ve been too nervous to go. Four more years a slave to the bottle
I’m nearly 31 and I don’t want to spend my 30s like I did my 20s - drunk, lonely, no social life or interests. Just living to drink. I don’t like myself. I want know what it’s like to be a rounded person with hobbies and interests and responsibilities, and what it’s like to have self-esteem, because honestly, I have no idea. This is what I want out of sobriety. So this rambling post is just to publicly commit to going this evening, I guess..
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Hi Polished!
I'm glad you are going to an AA meeting, and I hope it goes well.
Here is a thread about another member's first AA meeting:
'https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/433825-thinking-about-attending-meeting.html
I'm glad you are going to an AA meeting, and I hope it goes well.
Here is a thread about another member's first AA meeting:
'https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/433825-thinking-about-attending-meeting.html
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
I went to an AA meeting a few years ago. Although I don’t think this is the approach for me personally, it was one of the least intimidating groups of people I’ve ever met. Very, very nice. You might as well go check it out, I’m sure you won’t regret it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Hi Polished!!
As you know, my first meeting went amazingly well. I really hope you decide to go despite the fear. I know exactly how you feel. I think I honestly gave myself a mild panic attack and I cried the entire hour I was there, but everyone was so supportive. All you need to do is show up and listen - you don't even have to introduce yourself if you're too nervous. If you see people you know, they're going to be the last to judge you since they too are at the meeting. It might actually be helpful to know that other people in your town struggle with this - it really was helpful for me. There were people of all ages too which surprised me. A lot of young people want to get sober, so you won't be alone in that either.
People were overwhelmingly kind to me - they all know how difficult it is. Taking that first step into the meeting is undoubtedly very scary. It was probably the scariest thing I have ever done, but I knew I was doing it for my wellbeing and quite possibly my life.
YOU CAN DO IT!!! I believe in you. I suffer from really bad social and just like, general anxiety in literally everything I do, so if I could do it, you definitely can. I am so excited to hear how it went. <33
As you know, my first meeting went amazingly well. I really hope you decide to go despite the fear. I know exactly how you feel. I think I honestly gave myself a mild panic attack and I cried the entire hour I was there, but everyone was so supportive. All you need to do is show up and listen - you don't even have to introduce yourself if you're too nervous. If you see people you know, they're going to be the last to judge you since they too are at the meeting. It might actually be helpful to know that other people in your town struggle with this - it really was helpful for me. There were people of all ages too which surprised me. A lot of young people want to get sober, so you won't be alone in that either.
People were overwhelmingly kind to me - they all know how difficult it is. Taking that first step into the meeting is undoubtedly very scary. It was probably the scariest thing I have ever done, but I knew I was doing it for my wellbeing and quite possibly my life.
YOU CAN DO IT!!! I believe in you. I suffer from really bad social and just like, general anxiety in literally everything I do, so if I could do it, you definitely can. I am so excited to hear how it went. <33
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I will also say that if you can manage it, it feels really good to introduce yourself and say "Hi, I'm dpac and I'm an alcoholic."
It seemed to take the power away from the whole thing, like I was finally admitting something I had held onto with everything I had. I dragged it into the light and now it feels like there's no going back. Through it, I gave the power back to myself to make the changes I needed with the support of everyone in that room.
It seemed to take the power away from the whole thing, like I was finally admitting something I had held onto with everything I had. I dragged it into the light and now it feels like there's no going back. Through it, I gave the power back to myself to make the changes I needed with the support of everyone in that room.
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by dpac414 
I will also say that if you can manage it, it feels really good to introduce yourself and say "Hi, I'm dpac and I'm an alcoholic."
It seemed to take the power away from the whole thing, like I was finally admitting something I had held onto with everything I had. I dragged it into the light and now it feels like there's no going back. Through it, I gave the power back to myself to make the changes I needed with the support of everyone in that room.
It seemed to take the power away from the whole thing, like I was finally admitting something I had held onto with everything I had. I dragged it into the light and now it feels like there's no going back. Through it, I gave the power back to myself to make the changes I needed with the support of everyone in that room.
I completely understand what you mean by this. Whilst it’s still in my head it’s kind of up for debate - am I an alcoholic or not? etc. I know I am. But I am excellent at convincing myself otherwise. I suppose that’s what we do as alcoholics. I hope, like you say, that finally going public with it and connecting with other people in real life who are facing the same experience is going to be the step I need. Oh, and I have terrible social/general anxiety too! I massively overthink everything! Thank you to everyone who has commented on this thread. I’ve had a sneaky thought or two about not going but I am! It starts at 7:30pm. I think I’ll get there for about 7:10pm so I don’t have to walk into a room full of people..
AA member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 872
Glad you are going to a meeting tonight Polished.Someone will be outside to welcome you,I am sure of that.
Go with an open mind and don’t judge AA on one meeting.I loved it from the start,but I know lots of people who took a while to settle in.I am sure you will get given phone numbers.
Wishing you well.Let is now how you get on.
Go with an open mind and don’t judge AA on one meeting.I loved it from the start,but I know lots of people who took a while to settle in.I am sure you will get given phone numbers.
Wishing you well.Let is now how you get on.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
I don't know how big your AA meetings are, but for my 5-20 person meetings, the secretary sometimes only shows up 10 or 15 minutes early to make coffee and set up the room. 20 minutes might be before anyone else is there.
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 46
Thanks everyone. It starts in 20 minutes. It’s literally at the end of my road so I’ll leave in a moment. I’m shaking! I just told my mum and almost burst into tears so will see how it does. Mum was pleased. I think that shows my drinking isn’t as secret as I’d thought..!
Anyway, I’ll check back in a couple of hours!
Anyway, I’ll check back in a couple of hours!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 46
Right I’ve been! I actually did it! There were about 12 people there. There was one person around my age but the rest were all much older with many years of sobriety behind them. They made the meeting all about me, sharing their stories. Some of them were really moving. Four ladies gave me their numbers and one said she goes to a meeting in our nearest city which has a different ‘flavour’ - her words. I said I would go along.
I feel pretty overwhelmed! Everyone was so friendly. I think AA could be useful for the social aspect and I do like the idea of the steps. But I do think I need something additional which is focused on the here and now, i.e. dealing with cravings, my changing emotions etc. All the practical, immediate techniques that mean not drinking. Hopefully that makes sense!
So so glad I went!
I feel pretty overwhelmed! Everyone was so friendly. I think AA could be useful for the social aspect and I do like the idea of the steps. But I do think I need something additional which is focused on the here and now, i.e. dealing with cravings, my changing emotions etc. All the practical, immediate techniques that mean not drinking. Hopefully that makes sense!
So so glad I went!
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Proud of you Polished!!! I'm so happy for you.
The social aspect seems really great for me as well; the sense of community of likeminded people who just want to support each other. I think it could be great for you to get out a little, since you said you typically shut yourself in. I would try to go as much as you can whenever there are meetings. I'm lucky in that I can hit up one a day, multiple a day if necessary due to my location.
As for techniques to help you in the now, I might recommend The 30 Day Sobriety Solution? A couple people are using it in the Class of Nov thread and seem to be enjoying it. I also downloaded it as an audio book and have listened to a couple chapters. It seems promising. There are daily activities and exercises that you complete and you can do them within 30, 60, or 90 days. Might be worth checking out!
Once again, so happy for you! I'm glad we both were able to try something new this week that worked out so well. Keep posting and stay with us!
The social aspect seems really great for me as well; the sense of community of likeminded people who just want to support each other. I think it could be great for you to get out a little, since you said you typically shut yourself in. I would try to go as much as you can whenever there are meetings. I'm lucky in that I can hit up one a day, multiple a day if necessary due to my location.
As for techniques to help you in the now, I might recommend The 30 Day Sobriety Solution? A couple people are using it in the Class of Nov thread and seem to be enjoying it. I also downloaded it as an audio book and have listened to a couple chapters. It seems promising. There are daily activities and exercises that you complete and you can do them within 30, 60, or 90 days. Might be worth checking out!
Once again, so happy for you! I'm glad we both were able to try something new this week that worked out so well. Keep posting and stay with us!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by dpac414
Proud of you Polished!!! I'm so happy for you.
The social aspect seems really great for me as well; the sense of community of likeminded people who just want to support each other. I think it could be great for you to get out a little, since you said you typically shut yourself in. I would try to go as much as you can whenever there are meetings. I'm lucky in that I can hit up one a day, multiple a day if necessary due to my location.
As for techniques to help you in the now, I might recommend The 30 Day Sobriety Solution? A couple people are using it in the Class of Nov thread and seem to be enjoying it. I also downloaded it as an audio book and have listened to a couple chapters. It seems promising. There are daily activities and exercises that you complete and you can do them within 30, 60, or 90 days. Might be worth checking out!
Once again, so happy for you! I'm glad we both were able to try something new this week that worked out so well. Keep posting and stay with us!
The social aspect seems really great for me as well; the sense of community of likeminded people who just want to support each other. I think it could be great for you to get out a little, since you said you typically shut yourself in. I would try to go as much as you can whenever there are meetings. I'm lucky in that I can hit up one a day, multiple a day if necessary due to my location.
As for techniques to help you in the now, I might recommend The 30 Day Sobriety Solution? A couple people are using it in the Class of Nov thread and seem to be enjoying it. I also downloaded it as an audio book and have listened to a couple chapters. It seems promising. There are daily activities and exercises that you complete and you can do them within 30, 60, or 90 days. Might be worth checking out!
Once again, so happy for you! I'm glad we both were able to try something new this week that worked out so well. Keep posting and stay with us!
I shall Google the 30 Day Sobriety Solution right now! Thank you! I’m thinking the more tools I have the better.
Well done to you too for going to your first meeting(s). A successful week I’d say!
Thank you to everyone else who has commented here to support me today. It means so much.
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