Two months!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 86
Two months!
It has been a little over two months since my last drink. I learn so much by everyone's posts every single day. Just when I want to post something that I am feeling or going through but do not know how to put it into words, someone else posts the same exact thing that I am going through. Thank you all so much!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 86
Thank you all! In the mere two months that I have lived in sobriety, I feel alive and am starting to gain some self-worth and respect for myself. If I have a thought of possibly thinking that I could "moderate" drinking, first I go back to my experience with moderation (epic fail) and then I read the experiences here with moderation (keeps it fresh for me). Also I play the tape forward and backwards. It is a revelation to me that I actually have a choice to drink or not drink!!! I gave alcohol (an inanimate obiect) all the power over me --- for non-alcoholics this would sound absurd.
I wake up every day alert, no hangover, minimal feelings of shame, regret, or embarrassment ( these feelings will linger with me for a long time because of all the self-inflicted crap I brought onto myself and family).
Best part of my sobriety? My children are much more forth-coming with me and can rely on me every day to be there for them. I can feel their genuine love and caring towards me instead of disappointment and distrust. I realize only time and my consistent sobriety will gain their full trust. I don't expect anything like this will happen overnight. Also, my fiance who I used to drink a lot with, drank a few times without me since I became sober. He got out of hand each time and it really hit me how absolutely annoying, terrifying and such unnecessary chaos that I had created when I drank for years!!! He came to the realization that NOTHING good comes out of drinking alcohol for us and our family. So now we both don't want to drink. Life is far from perfect, but that is just life, stuffing my feelings with alcohol didn't take away life problems, it paralyzed me from finding reasonable, mature solutions.
Side note: frozen snickers are now my best friends (I have never been a sweets person)!
I wake up every day alert, no hangover, minimal feelings of shame, regret, or embarrassment ( these feelings will linger with me for a long time because of all the self-inflicted crap I brought onto myself and family).
Best part of my sobriety? My children are much more forth-coming with me and can rely on me every day to be there for them. I can feel their genuine love and caring towards me instead of disappointment and distrust. I realize only time and my consistent sobriety will gain their full trust. I don't expect anything like this will happen overnight. Also, my fiance who I used to drink a lot with, drank a few times without me since I became sober. He got out of hand each time and it really hit me how absolutely annoying, terrifying and such unnecessary chaos that I had created when I drank for years!!! He came to the realization that NOTHING good comes out of drinking alcohol for us and our family. So now we both don't want to drink. Life is far from perfect, but that is just life, stuffing my feelings with alcohol didn't take away life problems, it paralyzed me from finding reasonable, mature solutions.
Side note: frozen snickers are now my best friends (I have never been a sweets person)!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Thank you all! In the mere two months that I have lived in sobriety, I feel alive and am starting to gain some self-worth and respect for myself. If I have a thought of possibly thinking that I could "moderate" drinking, first I go back to my experience with moderation (epic fail) and then I read the experiences here with moderation (keeps it fresh for me). Also I play the tape forward and backwards. It is a revelation to me that I actually have a choice to drink or not drink!!! I gave alcohol (an inanimate obiect) all the power over me --- for non-alcoholics this would sound absurd.
I wake up every day alert, no hangover, minimal feelings of shame, regret, or embarrassment ( these feelings will linger with me for a long time because of all the self-inflicted crap I brought onto myself and family).
Best part of my sobriety? My children are much more forth-coming with me and can rely on me every day to be there for them. I can feel their genuine love and caring towards me instead of disappointment and distrust. I realize only time and my consistent sobriety will gain their full trust. I don't expect anything like this will happen overnight. Also, my fiance who I used to drink a lot with, drank a few times without me since I became sober. He got out of hand each time and it really hit me how absolutely annoying, terrifying and such unnecessary chaos that I had created when I drank for years!!! He came to the realization that NOTHING good comes out of drinking alcohol for us and our family. So now we both don't want to drink. Life is far from perfect, but that is just life, stuffing my feelings with alcohol didn't take away life problems, it paralyzed me from finding reasonable, mature solutions.
Side note: frozen snickers are now my best friends (I have never been a sweets person)!
I wake up every day alert, no hangover, minimal feelings of shame, regret, or embarrassment ( these feelings will linger with me for a long time because of all the self-inflicted crap I brought onto myself and family).
Best part of my sobriety? My children are much more forth-coming with me and can rely on me every day to be there for them. I can feel their genuine love and caring towards me instead of disappointment and distrust. I realize only time and my consistent sobriety will gain their full trust. I don't expect anything like this will happen overnight. Also, my fiance who I used to drink a lot with, drank a few times without me since I became sober. He got out of hand each time and it really hit me how absolutely annoying, terrifying and such unnecessary chaos that I had created when I drank for years!!! He came to the realization that NOTHING good comes out of drinking alcohol for us and our family. So now we both don't want to drink. Life is far from perfect, but that is just life, stuffing my feelings with alcohol didn't take away life problems, it paralyzed me from finding reasonable, mature solutions.
Side note: frozen snickers are now my best friends (I have never been a sweets person)!
This made me smile. For all the struggle initially, it's this stuff that makes sobriety so worth it and makes me wonder why I waited so long to give myself this.
Thanks for sharing.
-B
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