Dandelion12

Hi everyone

I feel despondent

Very high anxiety

I know no one can fix it for me.

Just reaching out

Im alone all the time

Dont get out of bed

Thanks for listening

HTown

well you are not alone here. have you thought of meetups, church, aa or volunteering?

Dandelion12

Im just in a bad way.

Im hoping with time this misery will let up

I dont know what to do anymore

Dandelion12

Im such a loser.

Theres just no saving face anymore

HTown

i sure thought i was a loser too. told my late wife “ i am a loser”. it was because I was drinking so much and ashamed. i am no longer depressed, no longer ashamed and i do not think i am a loser anymore. sometimes i am still lonely since my wife is gone, but i am so much prouder of myself. the only difference is i do not drink anymore.

Dandelion12

Thank you. I just need to feel some hope

Fearlessat50

Hello Dandelion, you are not alone here. We have all felt this way. Alcohol, recovery and isolation can increase these feelings. You are not a loser. There is always hope! Is there someone you can connect with today f2f? There are times I felt so alone, all I could do was connect anonymously online with people going through similar experiences. That is ok too. Can you practice self love and compassion? Get out of your head, go for a walk for some fresh air, download a meditation app, etc? Know that these feelings will pass!

Anna

I think you need to take action.

Get out of bed and do something today.

Look around your community and see if you can volunteer somewhere.

These are things that will help you to move forward.

You don't need to stay stuck where you are.

Dandelion12

I went to the dog park.

I forced myself because I had decided it was over and I was going to come home and drink myself to death.

No more suffering.

I told myself if I felt the same way on the say home I would stop at the convenience store, come home and just get it over with.

There was one other person at the dog park.

A man i knew from AA.

Never got much out of the meetings. They actually kind of scare me with the horror stories and caused me more despair Emotionally I found them upsetting.

He asked me how I was doing and I broke down.

Im very weak and tired right now. But I didnt drink.

aasharon90

Sending support as you continue to take
each new sober step moving forward.

Dandelion12

Thank you Sharon

Wastinglife

I am alone too Dandelion. 10 days sober. Although, I am more bored than lonely. AA meetings help keep the loneliness at bay, but the boredom is what I have to worry about. It helps that I live downtown in a big city with everything a short walk away but even then boredom catches up.

Get up, have a bath, go get a coffee, shopping.
Just keep yourself distracted.

thomas11

You're not a loser, but it does sound like you are having a tough go at it. I hope you are able to find some peace and happiness soon. Reaching out on this forum is a good start. Maybe there is something more you can do? Staying in bed all day must not be very fun.

2muchpain

I'm very sorry to hear you are feeling so down. This might be the same thing as what you are going through, but sometimes I will get to a point where just getting out of bed is hard. What I learned is that the longer I stay in this mood, the harder it is to get out of it. One day in bed seems to build on another. What I do now is allow myself to just do nothing for a day. Just lay around for that day. But after that I know I have to do something to get out of this rut. I will get into this "just do it" attitude and find something to do, even if it's small. Than I build on it. It's not easy but it makes those down times a lot shorter and my mood slowly begins to improve. Hope you are feeling better soon. John

Dandelion12

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your insightful replies and support. I have my tnreads bookmarked so I csn reread your suggestions throughout the day.

I managed to get to the doctor. If anyone knew what the world looked like through my eyes theyd never know how i cope.

Everything was scary and distorted. I wanted as many drinks as I could find to just be unconcious and not suffer through one more minute, but I made it.

I told her what was going on a she prescribed me antidepressants and antianxiety meds.

Im going to take them. I never have in the past but after this last nightmare there is no doubt in my mind that the next stop was a psych ward or death.

I dont ever want to go to this hellish place again so following doctors orders.

She said it would be a few weeks before the antidepressants kick in.

At least I have some hope because the despair Ive been posting about here was all to real. I didnt even recognize myself when i dared to look in the mirror.

Thank you everyone for getting me through to this appointment.

I hope all of get well and receive a new lease on life. No one deserves this

Hevyn

Dandelion - I'm so sorry for the pain you're experiencing, but it's great that you took action & saw your dr. Antidepressants are a huge blessing for several people I know. Hoping this will help lift you out of your despair.

Dandelion12

Thanks very much anything would be better than what Ive been going through.


Thank you for your kind support

Soberwolf

Keep making the next right moves you done amazing not drinking

PhoenixJ

support and prayers
keep posting

Anna

I'm so glad that you went to your doctor and told her how you feel. Taking the medication will hopefully make a positive change in your life.