120 Days and hanging in there

Old 09-30-2018, 08:29 PM
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120 Days and hanging in there

I am sober 120 days today, that's 4 months, or according to my calendar 17 weeks. I feel stronger, and I'm calmer. One of the reasons I was drinking was so much was due to a combination of both anxiety and depression, when I was drunk I would start out feeling happy, and end up depressed and crying. In between the happiness and crying was anger, which my family bore the brunt of. I don't feel intense joy, but I'll take this calmness over the drunken emotions any day. I am sleeping better, and actually dreaming again, turns out when I passed out, I didn't dream and my sleep was not good. My face looks better, I no longer have dark puffy dark circles under my eyes, my lips are hydrated, and I've lost weight. I put a considerable amount of work into my secret drinking! Between making sure I always had bottles of vodka secretly stashed all over the house, (going to different liquor stores, carrying a big purse to sneak them into the house) to hiding the empties and making sure they were well hidden in the garbage each week, and hiding how ill I was took a great deal of time and creativity. I also estimate I have saved around $400. My whole existence revolved around obtaining, consuming, and hiding cheap vodka. Now, I actually have the energy to clean the house, and spend time with friends and family. I make an effort to thank God many times during the day for my new sober life because I realize it would take so little to send me back to the darkness, and clinging to the hope I have in God has gotten me this far and I'm just so thankful. Thanks for this website, and thanks for reading.
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Old 09-30-2018, 08:37 PM
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Welcome SMG! Well done on 4 months of sobriety. That is where I am as well.

Great to see all the positives that you are already experiencing. It is such a relief to be rid of that “secret life”.

Please dive into the forums and post often. It is really supportive and a lot of fun, especially once you get to know a few people around here.
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Old 09-30-2018, 08:40 PM
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Congratulations on 120 days

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Old 10-01-2018, 03:18 AM
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Well done.
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Old 10-01-2018, 03:29 AM
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Great Job!

I could have written your post myself SMG! I used to drink to stop feeling down and depressed, and at the beginning of the session I would feel happy and chatty and great, in the middle of the session I too would get angry and lash out at whoever whatever I could...then would come the poor me tears, uncontrolable sobbing feeling like life wasn't worth living till I pass out drunk and the cycle starts again.

It's great to be free of that, you have done an amazing job and keep up the good fight! xx
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Old 10-01-2018, 05:26 AM
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Good for you. That is great to hear! Keep going!
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Old 10-01-2018, 06:07 AM
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Congrats! Wow, this was me too toward the end of my drinking! I am a sober mid age girl too . It’s never too late to sober up!
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