120 Days and hanging in there
I am sober 120 days today, that's 4 months, or according to my calendar 17 weeks. I feel stronger, and I'm calmer. One of the reasons I was drinking was so much was due to a combination of both anxiety and depression, when I was drunk I would start out feeling happy, and end up depressed and crying. In between the happiness and crying was anger, which my family bore the brunt of. I don't feel intense joy, but I'll take this calmness over the drunken emotions any day. I am sleeping better, and actually dreaming again, turns out when I passed out, I didn't dream and my sleep was not good. My face looks better, I no longer have dark puffy dark circles under my eyes, my lips are hydrated, and I've lost weight. I put a considerable amount of work into my secret drinking! Between making sure I always had bottles of vodka secretly stashed all over the house, (going to different liquor stores, carrying a big purse to sneak them into the house) to hiding the empties and making sure they were well hidden in the garbage each week, and hiding how ill I was took a great deal of time and creativity. I also estimate I have saved around $400. My whole existence revolved around obtaining, consuming, and hiding cheap vodka. Now, I actually have the energy to clean the house, and spend time with friends and family. I make an effort to thank God many times during the day for my new sober life because I realize it would take so little to send me back to the darkness, and clinging to the hope I have in God has gotten me this far and I'm just so thankful. Thanks for this website, and thanks for reading.