DontRemember

You'd look "dumb" if you got back with her (been there!)..Chalk it up as a life lesson. She'll still be doing the same $hit next year,just like my last ex is(been a year)..do your thing and don't look back.

OpioPhobe

Being the one getting rejected is a terrible blow to ego regardless of who the other person is. It isn't rational, but that doesn't really help.
However, from what you have said she was the one who wasn't good enough for you. You treated her well and she didn't know how to act right.

I had an experience like that where a girl left me for a drug dealer. She was whining to me a few weeks later about how bad he treated her. I told her she had it coming, and that I didn't have time for her ********. I felt a lot better after that.

Her new relationship doesn't sound like it has a prayer.

fini

sorry hat happened to you, Hokie...exceptthen i think, hm, it didn't just 'happen', of course. you saw red flags and decided not to heed them. that, i think, is where your responsibility owards yourself lies, and where the suggestion for Alanon came from. not regarding if or how or when you get over this, but what in you made you ignore a whole bunch of danger signals and then carry on while being disrespected...that kind of stuff.

Hokieforlife

I appreciate your forwardness, and btw, I love your signature.

Hokieforlife

I appreciate that, thank you. I'm moving on and as was stated earlier, just accepting that I was a rebound and made a bad judgment call on my end. Not going to lie, the thought of her coming back bothers me. I really don't know if it'll happen or not. But if it does, I just want to be strong enough to say no. I'm sure with time, I will be.

Hokieforlife

You are right that I noticed red flags and was foolish to ignore them. However I did confront her about her drinking, after she got her DUI and continued to get drunk with her friends and disrespect me. She got all sassy and accused me of being 'judgmental'.

But regardless, I know where you're coming from. In hindsight, I should never have allowed myself to believe she would change. I should never have allowed things to get to a point where she would be the one to end things. I should have ended them, long before she did. And that is why this is a valuable lesson learned for me.

DontRemember

I've been there,man..a couple times. *** sucks,BUT it's nice without the drama..
yea the sig is from this song/video that came out about a month after my breakup https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBZCC9guNn8

Edit: Crank that **** for the full effect!

Hokieforlife

Out of curiosity, did she ever try coming back? Or alcoholic exes in the past try coming back to you?

I've deleted mine from every social media platform but she definitely still has my number. A lot of my friends tell me to be weary, that even if I was a rebound she had feelings for me and if her new relationship fails she's gonna try to come back when I've moved on. I tell myself she won't but honestly I don't know what to believe.

Jules714

She's very sick in her disease. She doesn't seem to recognize she has a disease. She certainly isn't treating it. This has nothing to do with you in the slightest.
Listen to your intuition maybe in the future...you see the flags. Take your time in these matters.
Kudos for being the man who sends flowers! Dying breed.
I would be beside myself if any of these idiots I go out with sent flowers. Lol.
Time will make this feel better.
Hugs,
Jules

iwilltryagain

Hokieforlife - Hope you are staying sober, which is important. I think you are sensitive person and you fell in love or whatever. She has no clue what she is doing. She was on Tinder, drunk, effeing every other guy and you were just one of them on the way. Today she is with next one and later would be another one. I am glad you realized now than later. Make peace with yourself and your feelings. Don't sweat. Just move on and get over it. You will find somebody worth while. Good Luck!

Primativo

You dodged a bullet. I know it's hard, when you fall for someone. I fell for someone two years ago, who was married but getting divorced, I loved her, we had an intense 6 months together, and then she dropped the bombshell that she wanted to get back with her husband. I was gutted, you could have scraped me off the floor with a shovel. Even two years later I wonder what she is upto, it still hurts a little, although I am definitely over it and have moved on, when I think of the good times, I do still think she was the right girl at the wrong time. I think I'm a big softie really, and I am still looking for the one, the love of my life. One of my regrets is that I was deep in my alcohol addiction back then, and i wasn't the best person I could have been, if I was maybe things could have worked out differently, maybe but probably not no, but I was very dependent on alcohol back then, very dependent. But, I could have handled it better, I took the break up badly, i turned to the bottle even more, it made me angry and explosive, I wasn't thinking clearly, I did some things I shouldn't have. We've all been heartbroken, had rejection, it's a horrible thing to go through. All we can do is accept this is our path in life, it wasn't meant to be.

allishope73

She is borderline personality disorder ... look at google its not allowed to diagnosecon this page so just look

Hokieforlife

I want to thank you all for the kind words of encouragement and reassurance. I really do mean when I say they have helped a bunch. I woke up this morning finally feeling different, not thinking of her as much, and in general just so much better than how I was a month ago. I know it only gets better for me from here. Running away and never looking back!

DontRemember

I just saw this.. It's been a year or more since I left her. She reaches out via txt,contacting my daughter(22) and some close friends of mine about every 5-6mo like clockwork(when drinking). It's kinda comical at this point,but I'm past it all. She reached out last week actually. We were together for so long I kinda feel bad to block her. I also helped raise her son,so I do care about what's going on in his life. I never thought I'd say this,but I feel I can now be 'friendly' towards her,without giving a $hit who/what she's doing...BUT... I'm not going to go outta my way to make that happen. I'm indifferent now as far as she's concerned.