Introductions and hello...
RIP Sweet Suki
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Welcome to SR, bumboid! Glad you found us. There is tons of support here.
You are already ahead of the game if you truly realize you cannot moderate. There is no such thing as "one won't hurt" to an alcoholic.
What plan do you have in place to make sure you won't drink? SR is great for online support, but most people need some face-to-face support, too.
Again, welcome and glad you are here!
You are already ahead of the game if you truly realize you cannot moderate. There is no such thing as "one won't hurt" to an alcoholic.
What plan do you have in place to make sure you won't drink? SR is great for online support, but most people need some face-to-face support, too.
Again, welcome and glad you are here!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
I think your story mimics many people here's. Especially me.
Moderation is not an option for me. Like you, one drink and I'm off to the races.
I lived like that for ten years until I finally gave in and just drank when I wanted, read every day.
That went on for another ten years, and I'll spare you the gory details.
You'll find a lot of support here and your story has helped this drunk not take that first drink today.
Oh, and it's been nine and a half years since my last drink.
Best to you. Sounds like you recognize your problem. It will take action, in whatever form, but coming here is a great start.
I think your story mimics many people here's. Especially me.
Moderation is not an option for me. Like you, one drink and I'm off to the races.
I lived like that for ten years until I finally gave in and just drank when I wanted, read every day.
That went on for another ten years, and I'll spare you the gory details.
You'll find a lot of support here and your story has helped this drunk not take that first drink today.
Oh, and it's been nine and a half years since my last drink.
Best to you. Sounds like you recognize your problem. It will take action, in whatever form, but coming here is a great start.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
That little voice is a bitch. It's been telling me to go buy cigarettes the last two days. Killing me. Darned if I do, darned if I don't. But I won't. Know why?
I think of the last time I smoked and ended up throwing a whole pack away.
See, the same thing helps me (more successfully) with that alcoholic devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear 'It's okay. You can have a drink'
Oh no I can't. So I think back to my drinking days. At the end I had totally lost control.
I was on auto-pilot. Drink for days, stop. Feel better drink again.
Now what helps me immensely is thinking back to those days.
The misery, guilt, shame and anxiety. It really does help.
And coming here and reading posts like yours.
Right now there's a woman in extreme crisis in the Alcoholic forum.
I drank like her. I ended up in a very bad place.
I drank for over thirty years alcoholicly. you sound like you're smart enough to know you may have a problem. Self-realization is a wonderful thing. I had to learn the vey hard way.
I hope you can stop now, even though you have a fairly long break between drunks, believe me it's progressive.
Save yourself a load misery and suffering and do what it takes to stop now.
You can do it.
I think of the last time I smoked and ended up throwing a whole pack away.
See, the same thing helps me (more successfully) with that alcoholic devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear 'It's okay. You can have a drink'
Oh no I can't. So I think back to my drinking days. At the end I had totally lost control.
I was on auto-pilot. Drink for days, stop. Feel better drink again.
Now what helps me immensely is thinking back to those days.
The misery, guilt, shame and anxiety. It really does help.
And coming here and reading posts like yours.
Right now there's a woman in extreme crisis in the Alcoholic forum.
I drank like her. I ended up in a very bad place.
I drank for over thirty years alcoholicly. you sound like you're smart enough to know you may have a problem. Self-realization is a wonderful thing. I had to learn the vey hard way.
I hope you can stop now, even though you have a fairly long break between drunks, believe me it's progressive.
Save yourself a load misery and suffering and do what it takes to stop now.
You can do it.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome to an encouraging place, Bumboid! We're so happy you joined us.
That was the hardest thing for me - to admit there would never be any control. I once didn't drink for 3 yrs. & thought I'd have 'a nice glass of wine' with dinner. Off I went for years of reckless behavior. Worse than ever - absolutely no control. I've proven to myself that I can't touch it - and it feels wonderful to be free. Congratulations on your Day 4.
That was the hardest thing for me - to admit there would never be any control. I once didn't drink for 3 yrs. & thought I'd have 'a nice glass of wine' with dinner. Off I went for years of reckless behavior. Worse than ever - absolutely no control. I've proven to myself that I can't touch it - and it feels wonderful to be free. Congratulations on your Day 4.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, Bumboid
you will see plans, methods or programs recommended here frequently, one reason being that most of us have ended up here because 'me and willpower' hasn't worked out well for us in the past. since that has been your experience also, i' encourage you to consider adding to that method, or checking out different ways.
regardless of that, joining with others here is a great start, and knowing moderating is not a doable option for you is a great thing to know!
you will see plans, methods or programs recommended here frequently, one reason being that most of us have ended up here because 'me and willpower' hasn't worked out well for us in the past. since that has been your experience also, i' encourage you to consider adding to that method, or checking out different ways.
regardless of that, joining with others here is a great start, and knowing moderating is not a doable option for you is a great thing to know!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by Bumboid 
I should also mention, there are other health reasons why I am determined to succeed...
…….
Blood pressure. I've been under treatment for genetic high blood pressure for years. I also take loads of supplements to try to bring it down. It's gone crazy at times, and is generally high. I started bike riding to help. During the 6 weeks off, it went low - probably too low at times! Hmmmm, maybe there's a correlation there? :
…….
Blood pressure. I've been under treatment for genetic high blood pressure for years. I also take loads of supplements to try to bring it down. It's gone crazy at times, and is generally high. I started bike riding to help. During the 6 weeks off, it went low - probably too low at times! Hmmmm, maybe there's a correlation there? :
As in ,....a medication designed to lower your blood pressure may be effective and safe ,....unless, or until you start doing things to lower it naturally over a relatively short period of time,...and never mention it to your Dr. . It's important he knows wth is going on .
Congrats on your progress ,... it's a precious gift you're giving your body !!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,974
Hi Bumboid, welcome to SR! Like you, I thought I could moderate too. I was on/off for a few years always starting with such resolve. As time went on, though, I forgot my last drunk episode and how bad it made me feel, as why I was feeling so good lately (being sober), and I’d think I could have one (or maybe just two), then I’d relapse and every relapse was worse than the last (recommend you research “kindling” if you don’t already know about it). I have now been sober coming up to two years. The difference for me this time is that I never had a daily practice or “program” as some call it, around sobriety. Now I do. What worked for me the first year was individual therapy and coming here to SR. After several months of therapy, I stopped coming to SR. After a year, I stopped the therapy too. I thought I was “cured”. I came close to another relapse a couple months ago out of some life stress. . I came back here. I went back to therapy too. The support of this forum is tremendous. I now realize that his sobriety thing must be a way of life for me, and I need daily reminders of where I’ve been, where I am now and what my focus is. It’s like a religion (I’m not a religious person by the way). It sounds like you are aware there’s an issue and you are educating yourself and coming here. That is great! I encourage you to keep coming here and educating yourself, even after you are feeling strong again. That alcohol voice can sneak up on you when you least expect it, and the fact that alcohol is everywhere and so accessible makes it that much harder.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Hi Bumboid and welcome! Getting into regular bedtime and waking time was crucial to getting a good routine going. I went to bed the same time each night and got up at the same time each morning regardless of how much sleep I had. I also started listening to sleep meditation for the first hour in bed and eventually my body and mind got the message! I sleep much better now and feel rested afterwards. No afternoon naps, at least 30 minutes walking a day and eating at regular times every day. Forcing your body into a routine certainly does make a difference.
Way to go on day 4! Like you earlier this year I got 30 days sober and relapsed on day 30, I was so disappointed but I got back on the horse and are now at 85 days sober today and feel so much better and much healthier. I had to get a really good plan together and stick to it though but it’s so worth it.
Keep up the good fight, you got this! xx
Way to go on day 4! Like you earlier this year I got 30 days sober and relapsed on day 30, I was so disappointed but I got back on the horse and are now at 85 days sober today and feel so much better and much healthier. I had to get a really good plan together and stick to it though but it’s so worth it.
Keep up the good fight, you got this! xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 30
Welcome! I can’t drink in moderation either and that’s why I’m here! I used to have one at night, then it was two every night and when I was drinking a minimum of three a day every day, I knew I needed help. You’re not alone!
Originally Posted by Bumboid
Hi Everyone,
I'm a self-diagnosed alcoholic. I've not been to see a doctor. I know it's killing me, so I've stopped...
I'm on day 4. I did stop for about 6 weeks recently and stupidly thought I was "cured" and that I could moderate. I can't. "One can't hurt," I said to myself on a sunny afternoon in a country pub, turned into 2, turned into 3, then picking up a bottle of wine on the way home. Within a few days, I was back on an average of 2 bottles of wine a day, again.
Looking back, I've got a lot worse over the last 20 years or so, but I reckon I've probably been an addict all those years, from very early on starting drinking.
It's taken me a few weeks to get ready to give it a go again, but I've made the first steps.
At least I know this time... I can't moderate. I can't have one drink. I'm addicted.
Thanks for listening,
B.
I'm a self-diagnosed alcoholic. I've not been to see a doctor. I know it's killing me, so I've stopped...
I'm on day 4. I did stop for about 6 weeks recently and stupidly thought I was "cured" and that I could moderate. I can't. "One can't hurt," I said to myself on a sunny afternoon in a country pub, turned into 2, turned into 3, then picking up a bottle of wine on the way home. Within a few days, I was back on an average of 2 bottles of wine a day, again.
Looking back, I've got a lot worse over the last 20 years or so, but I reckon I've probably been an addict all those years, from very early on starting drinking.
It's taken me a few weeks to get ready to give it a go again, but I've made the first steps.
At least I know this time... I can't moderate. I can't have one drink. I'm addicted.
Thanks for listening,
B.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Well done on day 5!
I can totally relate. I've been in a cycle of being sober for several weeks and then thinking 'I'll just have a couple' and I never can. The desire to moderate is so strong but it is a lie. It's difficult to get to a please of acceptance about that but it sounds like you know going back will just result in the same patterns.
I needed more support than just me. I couldn't sustain it alone, so I go to meetings now and I'm starting to work the steps. There are loads of different options though and information on this site. Learning about AVRT sounds like it would be really helpful for you in shutting that addictive voice up! Best wishes to you B. Let us know how you are getting on. Rach xx
I can totally relate. I've been in a cycle of being sober for several weeks and then thinking 'I'll just have a couple' and I never can. The desire to moderate is so strong but it is a lie. It's difficult to get to a please of acceptance about that but it sounds like you know going back will just result in the same patterns.
I needed more support than just me. I couldn't sustain it alone, so I go to meetings now and I'm starting to work the steps. There are loads of different options though and information on this site. Learning about AVRT sounds like it would be really helpful for you in shutting that addictive voice up! Best wishes to you B. Let us know how you are getting on. Rach xx
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I never realized how much my personality changed when I drank. It had to be pointed out to me - & I still couldn't believe I would act the way I did.
Your children's reaction is an excellent reminder.
Your children's reaction is an excellent reminder.
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