Class of August 2018 Part Two
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Welcome baker.
Congratulations Karen! You must feel so good!
Midton, I was just thinking about why I have not had long term success myself. For some reason, I tend to forget I'm an alcoholic and/or think I'm cured. Sometimes I didn't even realized I had a drink in my hand until it was half gone, and by then, oh well I already blew it, I'd just keep drink...the thing is, I love being sober and the last few slips, I didn't even enjoy the drink. This time I will pay more attention. I have starting keeping a journal so I can remember daily why I no longer drink.
Congratulations Karen! You must feel so good!
Midton, I was just thinking about why I have not had long term success myself. For some reason, I tend to forget I'm an alcoholic and/or think I'm cured. Sometimes I didn't even realized I had a drink in my hand until it was half gone, and by then, oh well I already blew it, I'd just keep drink...the thing is, I love being sober and the last few slips, I didn't even enjoy the drink. This time I will pay more attention. I have starting keeping a journal so I can remember daily why I no longer drink.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Aliceiw 
Hi, hugbear. Yes! I experienced exactly what you described. I was never sure whether it was from anxiety and stress or from drinking. Probably a bit of both. I'm closing in on two weeks and haven't felt the throat lump for a few days now. Hopefully it's something that will go away as time passes.
Hey Canguy and Baker123. Welcome!
Hope you enjoy a happy trip JT!
Hey Canguy and Baker123. Welcome!
Hope you enjoy a happy trip JT!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: nj
Posts: 470
I was very nervous tonight while out to dinner with friends. I was worried that someone would insist I have some wine. I wasn’t sure that I could resist. However, when they began filling glasses , I just said “no thanks”. I decided that no one needed the excuse I had rehearsed all day....”no” is good enough. I had a good time and am so glad that I didn’t blow it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,017
Originally Posted by Barbs
Welcome baker.
Congratulations Karen! You must feel so good!
Midton, I was just thinking about why I have not had long term success myself. For some reason, I tend to forget I'm an alcoholic and/or think I'm cured. Sometimes I didn't even realized I had a drink in my hand until it was half gone, and by then, oh well I already blew it, I'd just keep drink...the thing is, I love being sober and the last few slips, I didn't even enjoy the drink. This time I will pay more attention. I have starting keeping a journal so I can remember daily why I no longer drink.
Congratulations Karen! You must feel so good!
Midton, I was just thinking about why I have not had long term success myself. For some reason, I tend to forget I'm an alcoholic and/or think I'm cured. Sometimes I didn't even realized I had a drink in my hand until it was half gone, and by then, oh well I already blew it, I'd just keep drink...the thing is, I love being sober and the last few slips, I didn't even enjoy the drink. This time I will pay more attention. I have starting keeping a journal so I can remember daily why I no longer drink.
I suppose that is why these groups can sometimes continue for a good long time as some of us need them.
I just saw a quote on Reddit: The most intense fight someone will ever have is between the person they are and the person they are capable of becoming.
Well, I suppose it is best for us to worry about right now and tomorrow when it gets here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Asia
Posts: 25
Good morning from Asia everyone,
hugbear, I am so sorry to hear of your discomfit. I can relate to this. I am also starting to reflect on the damage done. Not being able to swallow sounds a bit worrying. Maybe pop into your doctor and let them know what’s happening?
Aliceiw, thanks for the reassuring message that you felt the same thing.
Karen, congratulations on surfing your riptide! Woohoo. That’s so amazing.
Midton, thank you very much for sharing this:
“Generally my path is 1. get through first weekend 2. Pink cloud happiness 3. Zealously anti-alcohol 4. Massive health kick 5. Thoughts of I'm cured 6. Drink again.
This process historically can take from 1 month to 5 months.”
This is incredibly valuable insight and experience to share. It’s a reminder of how vigilant and careful we have to be no matter what stage of the journey. I am so sorry for the frustration you must feel having had stop-start progress at this, but actually I am very inspired by your story. You are showing all of us newbies that it can be done! You’ve done it. You’ve stopped before. And you can stop again. And maybe with this amazing group here, here we can support you to stay stopped for a bit longer.
Barbs, you said:
“I was just thinking about why I have not had long term success myself. For some reason, I tend to forget I'm an alcoholic and/or think I'm cured. “
This is a powerful insight. I guess this is why it is so important, in recovery circles, to openly admit to the alcoholism. When I joined here, 6 days ago (newbie alert), I was;t ready to do that. But I guess failing to make that step, is what makes long-term recovery so difficult. Thank you for sharing your experience and helping those of us new to this journey.
matrac, I loved this:
“when they began filling glasses , I just said “no thanks”. I decided that no one needed the excuse I had rehearsed all day....”no” is good enough.”
That’s inspiring. We build this up so much in our mind, and it turns out we just need to say No. And not drink. Wow. Good n you.
SuzesSobriety, this comment of yours rang true for me:
“it was interesting reading your powerful description of your sober world. I filled my time with work, which I love, and then drank hard as a release from the work. The last few times I did sober I just removed the drinking and didn't change anything else and also worked more. This time I am changing habits, filling in the holes of drinking with other things. At first just changed rooms, changed routines. Now I am trying to consciously find a relaxing not work, not drink thing to do that is about me.”
That’s a super interesting point, and something I need to reflect on to. What kind of relaxing, not-work, not-dink things have you discovered for yourself so far.
Here’s to Day 6.
hugbear, I am so sorry to hear of your discomfit. I can relate to this. I am also starting to reflect on the damage done. Not being able to swallow sounds a bit worrying. Maybe pop into your doctor and let them know what’s happening?
Aliceiw, thanks for the reassuring message that you felt the same thing.
Karen, congratulations on surfing your riptide! Woohoo. That’s so amazing.
Midton, thank you very much for sharing this:
“Generally my path is 1. get through first weekend 2. Pink cloud happiness 3. Zealously anti-alcohol 4. Massive health kick 5. Thoughts of I'm cured 6. Drink again.
This process historically can take from 1 month to 5 months.”
This is incredibly valuable insight and experience to share. It’s a reminder of how vigilant and careful we have to be no matter what stage of the journey. I am so sorry for the frustration you must feel having had stop-start progress at this, but actually I am very inspired by your story. You are showing all of us newbies that it can be done! You’ve done it. You’ve stopped before. And you can stop again. And maybe with this amazing group here, here we can support you to stay stopped for a bit longer.
Barbs, you said:
“I was just thinking about why I have not had long term success myself. For some reason, I tend to forget I'm an alcoholic and/or think I'm cured. “
This is a powerful insight. I guess this is why it is so important, in recovery circles, to openly admit to the alcoholism. When I joined here, 6 days ago (newbie alert), I was;t ready to do that. But I guess failing to make that step, is what makes long-term recovery so difficult. Thank you for sharing your experience and helping those of us new to this journey.
matrac, I loved this:
“when they began filling glasses , I just said “no thanks”. I decided that no one needed the excuse I had rehearsed all day....”no” is good enough.”
That’s inspiring. We build this up so much in our mind, and it turns out we just need to say No. And not drink. Wow. Good n you.
SuzesSobriety, this comment of yours rang true for me:
“it was interesting reading your powerful description of your sober world. I filled my time with work, which I love, and then drank hard as a release from the work. The last few times I did sober I just removed the drinking and didn't change anything else and also worked more. This time I am changing habits, filling in the holes of drinking with other things. At first just changed rooms, changed routines. Now I am trying to consciously find a relaxing not work, not drink thing to do that is about me.”
That’s a super interesting point, and something I need to reflect on to. What kind of relaxing, not-work, not-dink things have you discovered for yourself so far.
Here’s to Day 6.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Asia
Posts: 25
Another little post from me as I am feeling quite reflective this morning on a rare Saturday morning where I am waking up without a hangover.
Slept for at least 9 hours again. Drank 500ml of water immediately upon waking and immediately felt a bit livelier.
I realised this morning that perhaps the most obvious detrimental effect of my drinking is the impact it has on my sleeping. For the last few years, I would regularly be up to 3 or 4am, mainly because of the project of getting through a bottle (or more) of wine. I often don’t get home from work till 9.30pm, so wouldn’t start the wine till 10pm. Thus, the drinking would happen into the night.
I was robbing myself of sleep. I was taking away the time my body and mind need to recover from the stresses of the day and the difficulties of life.
I’ve also been reflecting this morning, that I’m not even sure I know why I have been drinking these past two years. Some people drink to be gregarious or social, to connect with people and to enjoy themselves. But my drinking has become quite secretive. Sure, I’d drink with friends at dinner parties. But as someone wrote here a couple of days ago, I’d often be looking for excuses to leave early so I could go and set myself up in my studio at home, and open a bottle of wine there, in privacy.
Even in Day 6, I’m struggling to know what the point of this was. Wine might have been a pleasurable tool for socialising and conviviality at some point. But really in the last couple of years (probably more if I am honest), I don’t think I could say it contributed positively to me doing anything.
It didn’t help me wind down, because the time I drank was time I should have been spending literally winding down in the form of sleep!
It didn’t help me process stress, because I’d wake up the next day more stressed, because of lack of sleep and a hangover.
It didn’t help me get more work done.
It didn’t help me engage with a new topic or hobby.
It didn’t help me interact with my beloved husband, or his step-son - on the contrary, it took me away from them.
All it really did was get me get into the perfect state to watch Netflix, or a particularly non-demanding film. What a complete waste of cognitive energy.
As Dee said earlier, “My healing came when I looked at my drinking for what it was - it had been decades since it was a simple joy for me.”
I know I am a very long way away from the deep understanding needed to process this. But I think I’m starting to realise what a massive waste of energy, time and potential drinking has been.
Sending all of you good vibes for the weekend.
Slept for at least 9 hours again. Drank 500ml of water immediately upon waking and immediately felt a bit livelier.
I realised this morning that perhaps the most obvious detrimental effect of my drinking is the impact it has on my sleeping. For the last few years, I would regularly be up to 3 or 4am, mainly because of the project of getting through a bottle (or more) of wine. I often don’t get home from work till 9.30pm, so wouldn’t start the wine till 10pm. Thus, the drinking would happen into the night.
I was robbing myself of sleep. I was taking away the time my body and mind need to recover from the stresses of the day and the difficulties of life.
I’ve also been reflecting this morning, that I’m not even sure I know why I have been drinking these past two years. Some people drink to be gregarious or social, to connect with people and to enjoy themselves. But my drinking has become quite secretive. Sure, I’d drink with friends at dinner parties. But as someone wrote here a couple of days ago, I’d often be looking for excuses to leave early so I could go and set myself up in my studio at home, and open a bottle of wine there, in privacy.
Even in Day 6, I’m struggling to know what the point of this was. Wine might have been a pleasurable tool for socialising and conviviality at some point. But really in the last couple of years (probably more if I am honest), I don’t think I could say it contributed positively to me doing anything.
It didn’t help me wind down, because the time I drank was time I should have been spending literally winding down in the form of sleep!
It didn’t help me process stress, because I’d wake up the next day more stressed, because of lack of sleep and a hangover.
It didn’t help me get more work done.
It didn’t help me engage with a new topic or hobby.
It didn’t help me interact with my beloved husband, or his step-son - on the contrary, it took me away from them.
All it really did was get me get into the perfect state to watch Netflix, or a particularly non-demanding film. What a complete waste of cognitive energy.
As Dee said earlier, “My healing came when I looked at my drinking for what it was - it had been decades since it was a simple joy for me.”
I know I am a very long way away from the deep understanding needed to process this. But I think I’m starting to realise what a massive waste of energy, time and potential drinking has been.
Sending all of you good vibes for the weekend.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,290
Seraphyne , well done on 6 days - to me it seems like a loooong way away, because yesterday was only my day 1.
I am also trying to get my head around the reason for my drinking. How did I change from someone who could have a good time with friends, have SOME wine, come home ... to someone who drank before going out with friends, have SOME wine, come home and continue drinking LOADS more???On my own !! Alway on my own.
How did I even THINK it was OK to start drinking in the mornings?
I am so amazed at how alcohol managed to slowly and stealthily take over/consume/steal my own life from me. And how ignorant and stupid I was not to see it happening. I used to be an intelligent person , I used to be someone lots of people turn to for advice and help, used to be super creative and engaged in all sorts of hobbies and activities, used to be someone who could not sit still for 5 mins, could not even watch TV without knitting/crocheting ............ And now ?
Someone who has become a total hermit
I don't open the door if someone rings the bell, and if they phone from my gate ( and can see my car, I lie ... and say I'm somewhere with someone who picked me up)
I used to love to cook - I am ashamed at how uninspiring my meals for my family has become
My garden - which I used to adore - has not had any attention or love from me for 2 yrs.
My personal appearance .... never mind.
Procrastinating getting things done . I've become an excellent professional procrastinator.
I have become a liar .
My hubbie always said I am a borne caregiver ... recently told me how they (my family) miss the person they knew
Anyhow , maybe some more later .
Baker , how are you holding up?
Mike , 17 !! Fantastic.
Bekind , 15 !! Great great great !
Karen , rooting for you ! Glad you surfed the riptide ! was thinking of you so much . Did you get my good vibes ?
Hugbear - sorry bout your throat ,well done on 6!! maybe try some honey and ginger tea?
Midton - 3 !!! I'm right behind you - keep going!
Aliceiw - 6 !!! Great stuff . Hang in there
Timetotry - 4 !! Well done - thinking of you
Please hold me in your thoughts for my day 2 today ?
I am also trying to get my head around the reason for my drinking. How did I change from someone who could have a good time with friends, have SOME wine, come home ... to someone who drank before going out with friends, have SOME wine, come home and continue drinking LOADS more???On my own !! Alway on my own.
How did I even THINK it was OK to start drinking in the mornings?
I am so amazed at how alcohol managed to slowly and stealthily take over/consume/steal my own life from me. And how ignorant and stupid I was not to see it happening. I used to be an intelligent person , I used to be someone lots of people turn to for advice and help, used to be super creative and engaged in all sorts of hobbies and activities, used to be someone who could not sit still for 5 mins, could not even watch TV without knitting/crocheting ............ And now ?
Someone who has become a total hermit
I don't open the door if someone rings the bell, and if they phone from my gate ( and can see my car, I lie ... and say I'm somewhere with someone who picked me up)
I used to love to cook - I am ashamed at how uninspiring my meals for my family has become
My garden - which I used to adore - has not had any attention or love from me for 2 yrs.
My personal appearance .... never mind.
Procrastinating getting things done . I've become an excellent professional procrastinator.
I have become a liar .
My hubbie always said I am a borne caregiver ... recently told me how they (my family) miss the person they knew
Anyhow , maybe some more later .
Baker , how are you holding up?
Mike , 17 !! Fantastic.
Bekind , 15 !! Great great great !
Karen , rooting for you ! Glad you surfed the riptide ! was thinking of you so much . Did you get my good vibes ?
Hugbear - sorry bout your throat ,well done on 6!! maybe try some honey and ginger tea?
Midton - 3 !!! I'm right behind you - keep going!
Aliceiw - 6 !!! Great stuff . Hang in there
Timetotry - 4 !! Well done - thinking of you
Please hold me in your thoughts for my day 2 today ?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 27
I still have internet connection as we haven’t yet set sail so I thought I would post.
Firstly there have been so many great posts overnight I cannot possibly respond to all by name as I’m only on my iPhone and cannot go back to reference who said what.
I loved this quote that was referenced from Reddit:
“The most intense fight someone will ever have is between the person they are and the person they are capable of becoming.” - my goodness that was so poignant for me.
Last night was so difficult and the complete opposite to the meal we had with friends on Weds night, which I found so easy it was almost joyful.
Last night we had dinner with another couple we know and everyone was drinking. Perhaps because I am on holiday it was harder but I felt so “left out” not drinking and couldn’t wait to get away and go to bed. Anyway I didn’t touch a drop but it was obvious that the man from the other couple felt uneasy as he has only been out with me when we are both drunk and getting silly. I felt awkward and self conscious but I refused to let myself drink just because it would ‘people please’. I so much want a sober life I knew that last night I just had to see the hard yards through.
Anyway I made it.
I just hope the next three days are easier.
Love and Power to All.
We can do this. We really can. We just need to want it badly enough.
JT
I still have internet connection as we haven’t yet set sail so I thought I would post.
Firstly there have been so many great posts overnight I cannot possibly respond to all by name as I’m only on my iPhone and cannot go back to reference who said what.
I loved this quote that was referenced from Reddit:
“The most intense fight someone will ever have is between the person they are and the person they are capable of becoming.” - my goodness that was so poignant for me.
Last night was so difficult and the complete opposite to the meal we had with friends on Weds night, which I found so easy it was almost joyful.
Last night we had dinner with another couple we know and everyone was drinking. Perhaps because I am on holiday it was harder but I felt so “left out” not drinking and couldn’t wait to get away and go to bed. Anyway I didn’t touch a drop but it was obvious that the man from the other couple felt uneasy as he has only been out with me when we are both drunk and getting silly. I felt awkward and self conscious but I refused to let myself drink just because it would ‘people please’. I so much want a sober life I knew that last night I just had to see the hard yards through.
Anyway I made it.
I just hope the next three days are easier.
Love and Power to All.
We can do this. We really can. We just need to want it badly enough.
JT
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning all. Happy sober Saturday. The sun is shining here and my mood has lifted after a difficult week. I had my hair done yesterday which made me feel better.
Thanks darkling. Good see you too.
Hugbear. I've heard that swallowing issues can be a nervous anxiety reaction. Please do see your doctor.
Timetotry cancelling all social events is a great idea. Focus on yourself and your recovery.
Well done on getting through Karen.
Midton maybe switch your phone off even if someone contacts you you are on control. You don't have to go out . Hope you got through.
Barbs your thoughts echo my feelings too which probably explain why I picked up again
Hi Bekindalways. Smoothie sounds great. Congrats on your days
Great posts ayers and seraphyn thank you.
Great to hear from you Tony. Keep up the good fight and have a fabulous cruise.😀
Thanks darkling. Good see you too.
Hugbear. I've heard that swallowing issues can be a nervous anxiety reaction. Please do see your doctor.
Timetotry cancelling all social events is a great idea. Focus on yourself and your recovery.
Well done on getting through Karen.
Midton maybe switch your phone off even if someone contacts you you are on control. You don't have to go out . Hope you got through.
Barbs your thoughts echo my feelings too which probably explain why I picked up again
Hi Bekindalways. Smoothie sounds great. Congrats on your days
Great posts ayers and seraphyn thank you.
Great to hear from you Tony. Keep up the good fight and have a fabulous cruise.😀
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 165
Morning All,
I’m still here. I’ve still not been posting much but also still very much sober. This is my 18th day and 3rd weekend. I’ve been keeping an eye on your posts so we’ll done to all of you for your efforts and welcome to newcomers.
Dave
I’m still here. I’ve still not been posting much but also still very much sober. This is my 18th day and 3rd weekend. I’ve been keeping an eye on your posts so we’ll done to all of you for your efforts and welcome to newcomers.
Dave
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Morning everyone.
David it’s good to see you posting and good job staying the course
JT stay strong and focused you got this
Bekind I love the reddit quote too and I think it’s so true
Hope everyone has a great sober Saturday!
David it’s good to see you posting and good job staying the course
JT stay strong and focused you got this
Bekind I love the reddit quote too and I think it’s so true
Hope everyone has a great sober Saturday!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Good morning everyone.
I'm feeling really good this morning after writing in my journal (very theraputic...who knew
) I'm getting ready to head out and have breakfast with my mom and do some shopping.
Matrac, funny how we seem to make more of it than others do when we are not drinking. Back when I was drinking, I didn't care if anyone else did it not, lol. Well done with "no"!
Jt, great job staying strong. Remember, you got this!
Ayers, great job. Hang in there, you can do this.
Bekind, I love the quote. So true, thank you.
Seraphyne, congrats on day6, great post!
RAL, glad your mood has lifted
Timetotry, God plan, stay close to SR and keep postimg.
David, good to see you're hanging in there. Congrats on 18 days!
I'm feeling really good this morning after writing in my journal (very theraputic...who knew
) I'm getting ready to head out and have breakfast with my mom and do some shopping.Matrac, funny how we seem to make more of it than others do when we are not drinking. Back when I was drinking, I didn't care if anyone else did it not, lol. Well done with "no"!
Jt, great job staying strong. Remember, you got this!
Ayers, great job. Hang in there, you can do this.
Bekind, I love the quote. So true, thank you.
Seraphyne, congrats on day6, great post!
RAL, glad your mood has lifted
Timetotry, God plan, stay close to SR and keep postimg.
David, good to see you're hanging in there. Congrats on 18 days!
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