new: on day one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 2
new: on day one
Hi, so I'm new here. Looking for some help, people who understand. Here's my situation in a nut shell.
I am a teacher, and slowly, over the years, the evening glass of wine has turned into a bit more than a bottle. I have stopped drinking over the years, once even for little over a year (but I was taking a sleep aid), but I always slide back into it. I have a great job, two wonderful kids, and a wife whom I love very much. But this alcohol--it is so dang hard to stop. It seems to get worse as I get older.
This summer, I told myself, this is it: I have three months to really work on this. However, I spent the whole summer saying, "I'll start tomorrow." Now, I have meetings next week, and classes start two weeks from today.
I need to come clean to someone, and here I am. I have been saying it for so long, guys, I'm not drinking tonight. I have adjusted my evening routine. I'm sure sleep will be a bit of a challenge, but, I'm committing.
One of the challenges I face is that we live in a beach community where people come to vacation. Alcohol is everywhere. I walk out my door and people are on their way to the beach with their drinks. I go to the store and people are stocking their coolers. Lots of bars. I do not go to bars, but they are part of our landscape.
I want to use this site and you guys for some accountability, so I plan on posting how things are going, and possibly even asking for advice or support.
Thanks for reading.
Carl M
I am a teacher, and slowly, over the years, the evening glass of wine has turned into a bit more than a bottle. I have stopped drinking over the years, once even for little over a year (but I was taking a sleep aid), but I always slide back into it. I have a great job, two wonderful kids, and a wife whom I love very much. But this alcohol--it is so dang hard to stop. It seems to get worse as I get older.
This summer, I told myself, this is it: I have three months to really work on this. However, I spent the whole summer saying, "I'll start tomorrow." Now, I have meetings next week, and classes start two weeks from today.
I need to come clean to someone, and here I am. I have been saying it for so long, guys, I'm not drinking tonight. I have adjusted my evening routine. I'm sure sleep will be a bit of a challenge, but, I'm committing.
One of the challenges I face is that we live in a beach community where people come to vacation. Alcohol is everywhere. I walk out my door and people are on their way to the beach with their drinks. I go to the store and people are stocking their coolers. Lots of bars. I do not go to bars, but they are part of our landscape.
I want to use this site and you guys for some accountability, so I plan on posting how things are going, and possibly even asking for advice or support.
Thanks for reading.
Carl M
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
Welcome, Carl! There is a wealth of knowledge and experience on this site, as well as healthy dose of hope 
I certainly understand your situation. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so I'm not surprised to hear that your glass of wine progressed into an entire bottle. I used to only drink on the weekends, never drink alone etc... somehow it became like a runaway train, and I found myself self-medicating my shame for drinking with more drinking. I too went months without a drop, but would always end up finding an excuse, with the exact same result almost every time (blacking out, multiple-day binges).
I encourage you to use this site to assist you in developing a program of recovery. Living in a vacation area has got to be challenging for someone who is trying to remain sober, but remember -- wherever there is alcohol, there are people working toward sobriety with a program. Whatever that looks like for you (AA, SMART Recovery, NAMI, one-on-one therapy, etc), I think the best way in the beginning is to get connected with others in your area who are working a program, if you haven't already. You will be truly astonished at the amount of support people are willing to give out freely and willingly. That's kind of the magical aspect of AA. They say you have to give it away to keep it, and I believe that is absolutely true.
I wish you the best in your journey!
I certainly understand your situation. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so I'm not surprised to hear that your glass of wine progressed into an entire bottle. I used to only drink on the weekends, never drink alone etc... somehow it became like a runaway train, and I found myself self-medicating my shame for drinking with more drinking. I too went months without a drop, but would always end up finding an excuse, with the exact same result almost every time (blacking out, multiple-day binges).
I encourage you to use this site to assist you in developing a program of recovery. Living in a vacation area has got to be challenging for someone who is trying to remain sober, but remember -- wherever there is alcohol, there are people working toward sobriety with a program. Whatever that looks like for you (AA, SMART Recovery, NAMI, one-on-one therapy, etc), I think the best way in the beginning is to get connected with others in your area who are working a program, if you haven't already. You will be truly astonished at the amount of support people are willing to give out freely and willingly. That's kind of the magical aspect of AA. They say you have to give it away to keep it, and I believe that is absolutely true.
I wish you the best in your journey!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Carl,
I'm glad you found us and that you have decided to stop drinking. Do you have a plan in place for stopping and beginning recovery? It's always a good idea to have a plan to help you.
I'm glad you found us and that you have decided to stop drinking. Do you have a plan in place for stopping and beginning recovery? It's always a good idea to have a plan to help you.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by CarlMagnitude 
One of the challenges I face is that we live in a beach community where people come to vacation. Alcohol is everywhere.
The biggest challenge to your recovery lies between your two ears.
Read up on Rational Recovery and Addictive Voice Recognition Techniques (AVRT).
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 42
Welcome Carl,
I always had a plan to stop drinking after the next weekend/holiday. Then I planned to stop after the Super Bowl, summer, New Year's, etc. Here I am 74 days sober and not really missing booze. I am being honest with myself. I joined AA, listened to their suggestions and kept an open mind. I am not a religious person at all, but the program seems to be working. I could never stop by myself in the past 30 years. Good luck and keep us posted.
I always had a plan to stop drinking after the next weekend/holiday. Then I planned to stop after the Super Bowl, summer, New Year's, etc. Here I am 74 days sober and not really missing booze. I am being honest with myself. I joined AA, listened to their suggestions and kept an open mind. I am not a religious person at all, but the program seems to be working. I could never stop by myself in the past 30 years. Good luck and keep us posted.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 2
Thanks for the welcome. I appreciate it. I am focusing on tomorrow--how I want to feel in the morning. And I am anticipating the arrival of my addictive voice (thanks for the AVRT tip). It really is a beast. I need to work on differentiating between this voice and me, my actual voice that knows what I need to do, what I need to avoid.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,975
Glad you have joined. You will find a lot of folks started out the way you did and found their drinking progressed - often to the point of health or other negative consequences. This is such a supportive group! I live in a world renowned wine region and vacation spot, so I get it about alcohol being everywhere. I never thought it was possible, but I’ve learned to enjoy wine tasting without the tasting. I look at it like I’m tasting the beauty now ��.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
Originally Posted by CarlMagnitude
Hi, so I'm new here. Looking for some help, people who understand. Here's my situation in a nut shell.
I am a teacher, and slowly, over the years, the evening glass of wine has turned into a bit more than a bottle. I have stopped drinking over the years, once even for little over a year (but I was taking a sleep aid), but I always slide back into it. I have a great job, two wonderful kids, and a wife whom I love very much. But this alcohol--it is so dang hard to stop. It seems to get worse as I get older.
This summer, I told myself, this is it: I have three months to really work on this. However, I spent the whole summer saying, "I'll start tomorrow." Now, I have meetings next week, and classes start two weeks from today.
I need to come clean to someone, and here I am. I have been saying it for so long, guys, I'm not drinking tonight. I have adjusted my evening routine. I'm sure sleep will be a bit of a challenge, but, I'm committing.
One of the challenges I face is that we live in a beach community where people come to vacation. Alcohol is everywhere. I walk out my door and people are on their way to the beach with their drinks. I go to the store and people are stocking their coolers. Lots of bars. I do not go to bars, but they are part of our landscape.
I want to use this site and you guys for some accountability, so I plan on posting how things are going, and possibly even asking for advice or support.
Thanks for reading.
Carl M
I am a teacher, and slowly, over the years, the evening glass of wine has turned into a bit more than a bottle. I have stopped drinking over the years, once even for little over a year (but I was taking a sleep aid), but I always slide back into it. I have a great job, two wonderful kids, and a wife whom I love very much. But this alcohol--it is so dang hard to stop. It seems to get worse as I get older.
This summer, I told myself, this is it: I have three months to really work on this. However, I spent the whole summer saying, "I'll start tomorrow." Now, I have meetings next week, and classes start two weeks from today.
I need to come clean to someone, and here I am. I have been saying it for so long, guys, I'm not drinking tonight. I have adjusted my evening routine. I'm sure sleep will be a bit of a challenge, but, I'm committing.
One of the challenges I face is that we live in a beach community where people come to vacation. Alcohol is everywhere. I walk out my door and people are on their way to the beach with their drinks. I go to the store and people are stocking their coolers. Lots of bars. I do not go to bars, but they are part of our landscape.
I want to use this site and you guys for some accountability, so I plan on posting how things are going, and possibly even asking for advice or support.
Thanks for reading.
Carl M
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Originally Posted by CarlMagnitude
I need to come clean to someone, and here I am.
Carl M
You aren't alone. What you described is copy paste stuff for a ton of us. Me for sure. Procrastinating the quit... etc..
This line I quoted from your post really caught my eye. The almost immediate relief I felt when I finally came out of denial and started facing it was and is huge for me.
Start by coming clean to yourself. Seriously. Just be honest with yourself. SR is a great vehicle to do that too. If you can find some relief in leaving behind all the nasty effects that's a huge bonus. But just come clean to yourself. Look at the effects it's having/ had in your life. See it for what it is. You aren't a monster. We've all been there. Owning it is courage. We are not defined by our past and there's a lot of good living left to do.
Stick around, lots of resources here to educate yourself. Knowledge is power.
Commit though. Go all in. I promise you won't regret it.
Best to you-
B
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Carl - I'm glad you joined us - you are never alone. Someone's always around, 24/7.
You're very wise to take action now. I started out with just a drink in the evenings, too. Over the years I became dependent on it - ended up drinking every single day. It was always in my system and I wasn't able to function. We never think it'll happen to us. I'm so glad you came here for encouragement. You can do it.
You're very wise to take action now. I started out with just a drink in the evenings, too. Over the years I became dependent on it - ended up drinking every single day. It was always in my system and I wasn't able to function. We never think it'll happen to us. I'm so glad you came here for encouragement. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 431
It must particularly awful to have to teach a classroom of students with a hangover. Also, stopping over a 3 month summer break in a vacation place, would be a tall order.
It sounds like you have a better opportunity to stop now, with the new school year starting.
It sounds like you have a better opportunity to stop now, with the new school year starting.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by CarlMagnitude
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I need to come clean to someone, and here I am. I have been saying it for so long, guys, I'm not drinking tonight. I have adjusted my evening routine. I'm sure sleep will be a bit of a challenge, but, I'm committing.
I want to use this site and you guys for some accountability, so I plan on posting how things are going, and possibly even asking for advice or support.
Carl M
I need to come clean to someone, and here I am. I have been saying it for so long, guys, I'm not drinking tonight. I have adjusted my evening routine. I'm sure sleep will be a bit of a challenge, but, I'm committing.
I want to use this site and you guys for some accountability, so I plan on posting how things are going, and possibly even asking for advice or support.
Carl M
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