First Day of AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Watford City, North Dakota
Posts: 12
First Day of AA
Yesterday, 8/13/2018, was the first day I stepped into an AA Meeting. I was scared, tears rolled down my face as I neared the building. My anxiety was overwhelming me, my nerves were taking over, I couldn't stop shaking. Goosebumps seemed to become a permanent. When I arrived at sat in my pickup unsure of this choice. Was this a sign of defeat? Is this really what I need? What am I doing?
A few minutes had gone by and it was now 8:03. I sat in my truck frozen long enough to now be running late for this meeting. Since I'm late should I just leave? I knew that wasn't the answer. I finally walked out and into the bluing and seen the stairs that led up to the room. Step by step I walked up the stairs still covered in goosebumps and shaking. I was now sweating from becoming so nervous as I neared the top of what seemed like a mile long staircase. I walked in and to my shock everyone just looked at me with a smile. No one said anything as they were doing the daily routine so I sat next to the lady furthest away from the door. The daily routine had come to an end. They began to ask if this was anyone's first day. I raised my hand and said my name. Since they had a newcomer they decided to treat the meeting as a first step of the 12 steps of alcohol anonymous. They were doing what they could to make me feel comfortable.
This led to the sharing of the first step.
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
Each person went through sharing their stories and explaining how they ended up in the room I was now sitting in.
It then became my turn to share. Before I could even get a full sentence out tears overcame me and I couldn't speak. A tissue was handed to me and pats on my back were shared. They all waited patiently while I took my time to find the courage to speak up. I had never been around complete strangers who felt like a safe haven. How could strangers make me feel so safe, welcomed and not alone in this world?
After a few seconds, deep breaths and a drink of water I shared a quick blimp of why I had walked into that room and why i was admitting defeat. I needed help and needed this sickness to disappear. No wait, let me rephrase that, I NEED help and I NEED this sickness to end.
AA is my first step to recovery and its going to begin this long journey that awaits me.
I didn't know what to expect when I went yesterday, but I have to say I am beyond happy I had the courage to walk in and start. Tonight is ladies night and I actually look forward to it! I'm not afraid now that I have broken the ice and took the leap. I encourage any one reading this that needs help just like myself to take that leap, walk through those doors and open a new chapter in your book. It can and will only go up from here. I know this because I have found my place. My safe haven away from everything and I want each of you to be able to have that feeling of security and safety as well.
A few minutes had gone by and it was now 8:03. I sat in my truck frozen long enough to now be running late for this meeting. Since I'm late should I just leave? I knew that wasn't the answer. I finally walked out and into the bluing and seen the stairs that led up to the room. Step by step I walked up the stairs still covered in goosebumps and shaking. I was now sweating from becoming so nervous as I neared the top of what seemed like a mile long staircase. I walked in and to my shock everyone just looked at me with a smile. No one said anything as they were doing the daily routine so I sat next to the lady furthest away from the door. The daily routine had come to an end. They began to ask if this was anyone's first day. I raised my hand and said my name. Since they had a newcomer they decided to treat the meeting as a first step of the 12 steps of alcohol anonymous. They were doing what they could to make me feel comfortable.
This led to the sharing of the first step.
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
Each person went through sharing their stories and explaining how they ended up in the room I was now sitting in.
It then became my turn to share. Before I could even get a full sentence out tears overcame me and I couldn't speak. A tissue was handed to me and pats on my back were shared. They all waited patiently while I took my time to find the courage to speak up. I had never been around complete strangers who felt like a safe haven. How could strangers make me feel so safe, welcomed and not alone in this world?
After a few seconds, deep breaths and a drink of water I shared a quick blimp of why I had walked into that room and why i was admitting defeat. I needed help and needed this sickness to disappear. No wait, let me rephrase that, I NEED help and I NEED this sickness to end.
AA is my first step to recovery and its going to begin this long journey that awaits me.
I didn't know what to expect when I went yesterday, but I have to say I am beyond happy I had the courage to walk in and start. Tonight is ladies night and I actually look forward to it! I'm not afraid now that I have broken the ice and took the leap. I encourage any one reading this that needs help just like myself to take that leap, walk through those doors and open a new chapter in your book. It can and will only go up from here. I know this because I have found my place. My safe haven away from everything and I want each of you to be able to have that feeling of security and safety as well.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I'm glad you found the strength to walk past your fear and into that room. You will need that strength at others times in this journey. It is reassuring to know you have it in you.
The people I've met at meetings are very kind. They are there to help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 42
Congrats,
AA folks are some of the most accepting people I have ever met. Walking into the room is the first step to changing your life. They know what you feel like and are there for the same reason. Just keep going and keep an open mind. You will learn a lot.
AA folks are some of the most accepting people I have ever met. Walking into the room is the first step to changing your life. They know what you feel like and are there for the same reason. Just keep going and keep an open mind. You will learn a lot.
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