Pajanickah

Well, didn't sleep at all last night again and today is my first day back at work. Haven't gone without sleep this long in I don't know when and my anxiety is through the roof. Idk how I'm going to do this today.

-Nick

bexxed

You will do it. Check in here and try to be patient. You will sleep, I promise. It can be hard in the beginning. It gets better. Congratulations on day three. Eat, stay hydrated, take it hour by hour. I had to sometimes count the minutes. Stay close by, people here will help you. You’ve got this!

Gerard52

Today just focus on work 100% nothing else, be the best you can at it.

Pajanickah

I'm really gonna stay close to here today. I'm really really anxious. I know after I get through this work day, things will turn around. I'm hoping. Unless I get horrible news at work. The overthinking is exhausting but I just can't help it.

bexxed

If you get horrible news at work, drinking won’t change or help it. And stay close if you physically can. Do you know about HALT? Usually triggers are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. You have at least one, so take care today.

Pajanickah

I'm not going to drink, no matter what, that won't help me work through my problems.

bexxed

Bravo! You’ve got this.

Pajanickah

I understand that if I drink, I will most definitely lose my job and will become chaotic and stuck in that alcohol trap. Nah, I'm good.

Jam13

Nick,
Know that this too shall pass.
Sleep will come. I’m on day 5 and finally slept good last night. Day 3 & 4 were the worst for me mentally and physically.
Treat yourself like you have the flu, pamper yourself. Eat healthy, drink water, rest when you can. Listen to soothing music if you can.
Focus on work and tell yourself you’re going to get through.
You will.
Let us know how you’re doing.
Prayers for you!

Pajanickah

Got through the shift. It was pure hell. I had sweat dripping off of me. Couldn't keep my mind straight. Damn. I'm scheduled 40 hours the next three days, so this should be fun.

John65

Well done for getting through your shift, it should give you some strength and encouragement for the next three days. You'll hopefully be feeling a little bit better as each day passes too. Good luck!

VigilanceNow

Hi Nick, all the posts above are spot on. I can tell you that for me, having experienced many hard relapses, day 3 was for some reason the hardest. I always felt like ugh, it’s day 3 altrady; why don’t I feel better?! Why can’t my body catch up with my mind?? I promised to stop drinking and I mean it this time! we must quiet those thoughts and allow our body to heal at its own pace. Your anxiety will pass as long as you don’t drink.

On another point, try to be as healthy as possible - eat fresh fruits and vegetables any time you can, drink juice and water to stay hydrated and keep electrolytes balanced, get as much exercise as feels reasonable to you, etc. I can’t tell you how much better I feel, both mentally and physically, when I know I’m putting good things in my body. I usually take a b vitamin supplement as well. At night, try hot water with a spoonful of blackstrap molasses, turmeric, and milk; it helps with iron deficiency and can be very relaxing.

Remember that by not drinking, you’re well on your way to feeling better!!

Pajanickah

I'm just really angry at these doctors for not giving me any kind of medication to detox with. I have no idea how I'm getting through any of this. This has to be in the top 2 withdrawals I've ever had. It's crazy.

ScottFromWI

Anger and resentments are very common in early sobriety. If your doctors recommendation was to detox without meds I am guessing they felt you would be safe - which is the reason for meds - not simpy to make it a more comfortable experience. It's an uncomfortable time to be sure - and I've been through it myself many times over, but to be quite honest it's supposed to be that way. We can't expect to abuse our bodies for so long with no repurcussions.

The good news is that detox is always a finite process, and the initial acute withdrawal usually only last a matter of days. So it will absolutely improve over time.

VigilanceNow

I agree with Scott. Detoxing with meds such as Benzos can make it easier, but ultimately are not always the appropriate method. I’ve shared this before but I’ll reiterate it for you - I was once given several Ativan tablets to take home after a particularly epic withdrawal. I’ve never had a pill problem, so I didn’t feel compelled to take them once I felt better. The problem, however, was when my AV came back whispering to me that I need not fear withdrawal if I drank again, since I had these pills as a safety net. I successfully ignored it for a bit, but eventually drank again and predictably had an even worse withdrawal. Took the pill, felt better. In other words, I learned nothing from the experience. (Note that I realized all this years later in retrospect.)

So I urge you to view this as a learning experience and cautionary tale. Never go through withdrawal again. It gets worse each time. Next time could even be the time you don’t fully recover... don’t let it happen!

Pajanickah

I was perscribed benzos for many years and it took me many years to taper off of them for this very reason. Trust me I don't want to take the pills, and I absolutely don't want to drink either. I just know they would help.

Pajanickah

And it doesn't even have to be a benzo.

ScottFromWI

There are a lot of non-drug things you could do to help. I did a LOT of walking early on - got my body moving and mind off of things. Not sure if you drink much coffee or soda either, but cutting back on caffeine and sugar can definitely help with the anxiety side of things.

apollo986

Benzos caused me all sorts of problems. Stay hydrated, eat well and exercise if you feel up to it. One day at time! It's day 108 for me and if I can do it so can you.

Pajanickah

I already walked 14 miles at work haha! I did drink coffee today for the first time in over a week. That may be the issue.