Yup.....I just can't do this
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Originally Posted by decchemist 
The morning after my last drunk my sister sent me a text. Here's the last part word for word. It's still on my phone.
'... If you feel that you have a problem and would like to stop drinking then please contact me and I will help you. I know the hell that is alcohol addiction and would love to help you if you want to stop. Much love always ......'
You can see that she still appreciated that I would have to decide to stop and fortunately I did.
Next I found SR. I go on SR every day for at least a little bit, whether it's just reading or sometimes contributing.
After this I found that there was a SMART meeting in my location. I have been going to that every week since I found it (unless something unavoidable crops up). I've learned a lot there. Not too much about SMART tools to be honest but I really enjoy the company of others there. It is a small group. Anywhere from 6 - 16 each week. Much bigger than that would put me off so it's a good fit for me.
My sister has sent me AA chips every month this year. As I write this message the post just arrived and my one year chip was in an envelope from my sister. I am beaming with pride.
I hope you can make some progress, Gabe. Don't give up - ever.
'... If you feel that you have a problem and would like to stop drinking then please contact me and I will help you. I know the hell that is alcohol addiction and would love to help you if you want to stop. Much love always ......'
You can see that she still appreciated that I would have to decide to stop and fortunately I did.
Next I found SR. I go on SR every day for at least a little bit, whether it's just reading or sometimes contributing.
After this I found that there was a SMART meeting in my location. I have been going to that every week since I found it (unless something unavoidable crops up). I've learned a lot there. Not too much about SMART tools to be honest but I really enjoy the company of others there. It is a small group. Anywhere from 6 - 16 each week. Much bigger than that would put me off so it's a good fit for me.
My sister has sent me AA chips every month this year. As I write this message the post just arrived and my one year chip was in an envelope from my sister. I am beaming with pride.
I hope you can make some progress, Gabe. Don't give up - ever.
Congratulations - that's awesome! I'm really happy for you
Sounds like you found a combination of things that really worked. And you work them. I need to choose new things to try because I'm not mangaging this alone. AVRT really helps but I don't think it's enough.
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Originally Posted by ChloeRose63
Now, you are thinking on the right track! You are "putting your sobriety first" and that means your mental and physical health and well-being is top priority.
You only have one life to live so desire your ideal life and make it happen. Eliminate the things that do not contribute to what you really want and you will find your freedom!
You are "putting your sobriety first" and that means your mental and physical health and well-being is top priority.You only have one life to live so desire your ideal life and make it happen. Eliminate the things that do not contribute to what you really want and you will find your freedom!
And thank you for your continued support too xx
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Yup. You absolutely CAN do this.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Thing is, none of us has a carefree, no problems life. We all struggle with our relationships and our own heads.
All my problems are in the eight inches between my ears. When I realized that everything became manageable.
I know you know this, but one day the chances will run out. People do die every day from alcohol. I've seen it in my life many times. They drink and then one day out of the blue they get a diagnosis or have an accident. No postcard telling them this needs to be the last time.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Thing is, none of us has a carefree, no problems life. We all struggle with our relationships and our own heads.
All my problems are in the eight inches between my ears. When I realized that everything became manageable.
I know you know this, but one day the chances will run out. People do die every day from alcohol. I've seen it in my life many times. They drink and then one day out of the blue they get a diagnosis or have an accident. No postcard telling them this needs to be the last time.
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
Hi Gabe
Lots of good input here.
I think you've pointed out a lot of the reasons you keep turning to drink. Can't cope with life, emotional immaturity (why can't I drink too?), just wanted 'it' (known as life) to just stop....sounds very familiar.
I had to drink to the point where there was no illusion...drinking doesn't work, period. It might relieve a craving, but there is no high, no fun, no oblivion. Sure it takes my mind off current problems because I'm too focused on the challenges I just created from my latest drinking episode. It makes my life really difficult, but at least its only one thing I'm focused on. I'm an alcoholic.
I have to learn to deal with life. Learn to handle my emotions. Lean that I am dangerous and irresponsible when I drink, childish. I had to grow up. And that all started with acceptance that I'm an alcoholic and I cannot drink. And surrender completely to that fact. Stop fighting and trying to prove that I can drink. It was utter insanity.
Lots of good input here.
I think you've pointed out a lot of the reasons you keep turning to drink. Can't cope with life, emotional immaturity (why can't I drink too?), just wanted 'it' (known as life) to just stop....sounds very familiar.
I had to drink to the point where there was no illusion...drinking doesn't work, period. It might relieve a craving, but there is no high, no fun, no oblivion. Sure it takes my mind off current problems because I'm too focused on the challenges I just created from my latest drinking episode. It makes my life really difficult, but at least its only one thing I'm focused on. I'm an alcoholic.
I have to learn to deal with life. Learn to handle my emotions. Lean that I am dangerous and irresponsible when I drink, childish. I had to grow up. And that all started with acceptance that I'm an alcoholic and I cannot drink. And surrender completely to that fact. Stop fighting and trying to prove that I can drink. It was utter insanity.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
Yup. You absolutely CAN do this.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Thing is, none of us has a carefree, no problems life. We all struggle with our relationships and our own heads.
All my problems are in the eight inches between my ears. When I realized that everything became manageable.
I know you know this, but one day the chances will run out. People do die every day from alcohol. I've seen it in my life many times. Thing is, they drink and then one day out of the blue they get a diagnosis or have an accident. No postcard telling them this needs to be the last time.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Thing is, none of us has a carefree, no problems life. We all struggle with our relationships and our own heads.
All my problems are in the eight inches between my ears. When I realized that everything became manageable.
I know you know this, but one day the chances will run out. People do die every day from alcohol. I've seen it in my life many times. Thing is, they drink and then one day out of the blue they get a diagnosis or have an accident. No postcard telling them this needs to be the last time.
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
I think that it's just avoidance of accepting the fact that this is work.....consitent, commited work. And I'm not doing enough of it.
plus, you found the time to drink, so this:
I work so much that I'm exhausted and have not motivation to do all the things that would properly support my sobriety.
is a pretty bad excuse,eh?
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
It's just childish immaturity and running away. I think I am going to need some help to grow up, as pathetic as that sounds.
36 when i got sober, i was 13 mentally and emotionally.
i found the help in the program of AA.
you can get and stay sober, gabe. it takes wanting and willingness to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol, but you can get and stay sober.
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I think you are right on both counts Tomsteve. I've had a horrible day but I have realised a couple of things. One is the amount of time I sit around thinking instead of doing and the other is that there are many things I've not tried. I've been trying and failing because what I'm doing doesn't work, but I keep expecting it too. Like I keep expecting a different outcome when I drink. I feel like such a slow learner.
And you are right about excuses. I'm really trying to call myself on my BS today. I have a web of lies around drinking and recovery. Most of it's just about not facing up to the truth and what I'm actually going to have to do to stay sober - such a join something and ask for support. Thanks
And you are right about excuses. I'm really trying to call myself on my BS today. I have a web of lies around drinking and recovery. Most of it's just about not facing up to the truth and what I'm actually going to have to do to stay sober - such a join something and ask for support. Thanks
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gabe, tneres nothing wrong with being a slow learner as long as youre learning.
im a slow learner,too. actually, my 1st sponsor- if he was alive to read that- would say,"its your lie,you get to tell it how ya want."
because he knew that wasnt the case- he knew pride and ego were a problem for me. i had to figger it all out on my own.
guess how THAT worked!!!LOLOOLOLOL
humility is awesome. amazing how much weight is lifted off my shoulders when i give in and accept my way doesnt work and maybe i should use someone elses suggestions.
more than once i went back to my first sponsor and said,"thanks,jerkhead, for the suggestion. why'd ya wait to long to suggest it???."
which he would reply with something like," i did before but ego and pride were in the way."
still today new lessons can take time to sink in.
im a slow learner,too. actually, my 1st sponsor- if he was alive to read that- would say,"its your lie,you get to tell it how ya want."
because he knew that wasnt the case- he knew pride and ego were a problem for me. i had to figger it all out on my own.
guess how THAT worked!!!LOLOOLOLOL
humility is awesome. amazing how much weight is lifted off my shoulders when i give in and accept my way doesnt work and maybe i should use someone elses suggestions.
more than once i went back to my first sponsor and said,"thanks,jerkhead, for the suggestion. why'd ya wait to long to suggest it???."
which he would reply with something like," i did before but ego and pride were in the way."
still today new lessons can take time to sink in.
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