Walkedon

My 30yr daughter is on probabtion. I have found out she is using Meth again. I want to turn her in.

Delilah1

I am sure this is a very difficult choice, but I think you are doing the right thing for her.

Dee74

Hi walkedon - welcome

that's a very tough choice but it sounds like you've been here many times before and you're at the end of your tether.

Calling her PO may be the best thing you can do for you both?

D

VigilanceNow

So sorry to hear this. If she is using, she is going to get caught one way or another. Turning her in would be a very difficult and weighty decision, but if you think it could save her life, then do it. Meth is such a dangerous drug, she’ll thank you when she makes it out alive...

DontRemember

For sure a tricky spot to be in. Like vigilance said above, She will get caught if they drug test,but a lot of that depends on the reason she's on probation. When I was on probation for a DUI, I was never tested. Mine was basically just another avenue to squeeze more $$ from me. I had no 'stipulations' except to not have any alcohol related arrests during my probation period.

Lizajane

Do what you need to do to keep her safe. If she slipped and is asking you for help, get her help. If she is using and hiding...she is going to use again and you know the road she is on better than me. She will need a tougher kind of help.

SaturatedSeize

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Discuss with her PO what resources her county has. Some areas have treatment programs and contracts with said programs and they can get her into treatment at no cost to her.

Making her PO aware of what's going on would also be very beneficial as it's really easy to miss that stuff when they only see your daughter briefly every month.

I've been a PO for over three years and I value keeping families involved as they see my client for who they really are. Based on your areas confidentiality laws, your daughters PO might not be able to disclose much, but having that piece of the puzzle will help them supervise her.

Are there possible consequences? Of course, sometimes a period of jail time to clear the head is necessary. I think you would forgive yourself a lot quicker for that then if you didn't do everything you could and something worse happened.

Good luck in this difficult situation.

DontRemember

This..exactly. It's not that you have to so much 'out her',but making the PO aware of her past could be the 'lesser guilt' way, if there is one? but she does need help obviously. I've also known of people to just go into jail/prison with zero intention of ever getting better...like was said..VERY tough situation! I have no clue what I'd do if it were my daughter.

entropy1964

I have a 17 yr old daughter. I can't imagine what you must be going through. And frankly without a whole lot more information about your circumstances I would be remiss to give advice.

I hope you have a trusted partner, maybe her father, with whom you can discuss this with. Or her mother. I was assuming you were the Mom but obviously I don't know that !!

DontRemember

I had to have my 16-17yr(?) old daughter put into a 'facility' over her crap(drugs/behavior) and it was HARD as hell!! She only went for a week,but the once/day phone calls begging to be picked up were heart wrenching,at best(it killed me!),, I feel for the OP. Luckily my daughter,now 22, 'seems' to have it together most of the time..:crossesfingers:

Walkedon

I called the PO. He suggests giving her an ultimatum, either in patient treatment or jail. I have been dealing with her drug issues for 10 years. The last year has been hell. She has been hospitalized for mental health issues 6 times in a year. I have had her arrested for taking my vehicle. She has been arrested for for paraphernalia, public intoxication ,and assault. All that has come of these arrrests are fines. I am at my wits end. She has more energy than I do.

Rar

I feel so bad for you Walkedon. What a difficult position you're in. It sounds like the PO is placing this on your shoulders. What if she doesn't want to do either, then what?

Lizajane

Your PO has a great idea. Is he going to give her the ultimatum? That would be much easier on everyone.

Walkedon

Unfortunately I think its up to me. I know my kid will refuse the rehab. I have to wait for her to fail a drug test. Even then I doubt much will change.
I need to get up the courage to completely stop helping her. But every time she gets delusional ,I am the person that takes her to the mental hospital.
Then the cycle begins again.

Anna

Walkdon, I'm really sorry for your situation with your daughter. It sounds like it's been going on for a long time and it's understandable that you feel stressed at this point. I think that you're right about stopping helping her, as hard as that will be.

tomsteve

walkedon, is there any correlation between the meth use and delusional thing? does it happen when shes using meth?
because meth is pretty good at causing delusional thinking.

Gottalife

That is an incredibly tough situation you are in Walkedon. I have an idea what I might do, but it would only be theoretical having never experienced anything like this myself. I thought perhaps the Friends and Family forums might have more practical experience they could share.

Walkedon

Has it helped an addict if their family walks way..
As a person in recovery what helped you to make that decision

Dee74

I did help me to have to clean up my own mess for sure...but I have to be honest and say not right away, I had some more years of drinking to do in my case.

the point here I think is - It was be AWESOME if we could love someone clean - but sadly it doesn't work like that.

Noone can get some else else clean and sober...it has to be an internal thing.
Your daughter has to want to change.

Detaching with love is as much for your benefit as it is for your addict.

D

Walkedon

The meth certainly makes the worse. Unfortunately the voices don't go away when the meth stops.