jeana

Hey, I'm new here too, just registered today. I have an alcoholic husband. We've been married for 10 years and have 4 kids. (8,7,6,and 3) . He has been getting drunk for the past 18 years. (started when he was 16). He likes to drink a lot,its hard on me and the kids as we watch him drink, get high, and spend our money. I'm at a loss as to where to go and what to do. I have no freinds here, my family is all on the east coast. I feel alone. The breaking point for me was when he was swigging from the whiskey bottle at my 3 year olds birthday party. i have started going to counseling, but he says he is going to contiune to drink, that he's immortal and theirs nothing wrong with the drinking and pot smoking. I just feel overwhelmed and want out, but don't know what to do. Any ideas? Thanks

deim23

Hi J and welcome,
Im sure lots will back me on this....
You may want to try looking up Al-Anon meetings in your area, and go to one. Try it out. There are going to be people there who have been where you are or are currently in a situation very similar to your own. Give it a shot. Thats what al-anon is all about.

Stay UP!!
Aaron

Dunitall

Hi Jeana

A big warm welcome to SR. You will find lots of people here who are going or have gone through similar situations.

As a recovering alcoholic, I can say most definitely that none of us is immortal and infact continued drinking has a completely unhelpful impact on what mortality we may have left. Your H has to realise that for himself and do something about it for himself.

Without doubt, you should be thinking about your own wellbeing and those of your kids at the moment. It is so important to take care of yourself.

No doubt your H has changed over his years of drinking and you can now see the worst of it. This booze thing is massively powerful and it is almost impossible to beat it on our own. However with the help of people here and AA, there is always hope for active alcoholics. If he has a desire to stop drinking, he can.

No doubt others will come back to you soon with other help and advice. I just wanted to roll out the welcome mat.

Remember to take care of you.

Rich

jeana

Hey thanks for your replies. I definately feel like I've come to the right place. I want so bad for him to "get better". But I know that I too have to recover as well. I have been through so much with him, and I hate to turn my back, but I know that I have to take of me and the kids. He doesn't want to get help. Hates the thought of never being able to drink again. I have an appointment with a lwyer tommorrow, just to know my rights, I can't keep letting spend all our money, the kids need to eat, need Christmas etc. I checked on alanon. Its on his days off which would mean me leaving the kids with him, I don't feel comfortable, letting him alone with them if he's gonna drink. Thanks for the help.

deim23

jeana,

"I checked on alanon. Its on his days off which would mean me leaving the kids with him, I don't feel comfortable, letting him alone with them if he's gonna drink. Thanks for the help."

find a sitter, bring the younger ones, don't let anything keep you from getting to a meeting. I believe you will find the answers to the questions you have. You may even find that with alanon, and the tools you will pick up there will save your family. I know we cannot make you do anything. Perhaps it has to get worse.

Stay UP!!
(and get to a meeting dammit! )

Aaron