Auntlinda

I've tried everything: AA, Refuge Recovery, rehab, addiction specialist...nothing seems to work. I can't commit. Life is unbearable and spiraling down into alcoholic abyss.

I probably need medical assistance once again, but having such a hard time putting things in my life aside to take care of this. I don't want to put aside the things I am looking forward to in order to address.

How do I change my mindset? I'm drinking a pint of vodka upward everyday.

Anna

You're right that you must change your mindset. But, only you can do that. You are the one who can make the choice to stop drinking and recover. I hope that you do whatever it takes for that to happen. There is lots of inspiration and support here, so I hope that you keep reading and posting.

Nonsensical

Hi and welcome to SR!

You state this like it is an observation of fact.
It is not.
It is a belief you have.
Beliefs are not facts.
How committed are you to believing it?
Because if you are willing to believe something else - something like I can change in ways that will make my life better - then you can start your journey back from the abyss.

You can do this.

Rooting for ya!

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR AuntLinda. Sorry to hear you are feeling hopeless, but that's what alcohol does do us unforutnately. You absolutely can commit if you choose - and it will be of great benefit to you if you do. Have you considered inpatient rehab to get you started in the right direction?

lessgravity

What are the specific reasons to quit for you? I have found that finally, deeply, understanding all of the reasons to quit and stay quit and accepting those reasons helped me get sober.

But I needed to work them out, see them for what they are worth and see drinking for what it's worth.

What are your reasons why?

ReadyAtLast

You're right in that it's not the method you choose that keeps you sober it's the committing part.

I know I will only stay sober when I want to be sober more than I want to be drunk. I have to be truly committed to do it then choose a method that helps and works for me.

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR. Hope we can help.

What are you looking forward to that is more important than getting sober?

wildflower70

Hello and welcome...

I tried putting off my quit date several times also...

A party coming up I didn't want to miss or go to sober...
A vacation in one month with unlimited booze (all inclusive)...
A trip to see my family, I needed booze to survive it anyway...

I wanted to wait because I thought booze would make all of these things better, somehow more worthwhile, or bearable where family is concerned.

What did putting off my quit date do for these upcoming events?

Ruined them all, each one was ruined because of drinking.
I made a fool of myself at the party.
I almost got stuck in Mexico.
Terrible fighting with my family.

If I would have quit right when I said I needed to, maybe those things could have been enjoyed or avoided.

Hope you choose to quit sooner than later!

thomas11

I always felt that the words "I can't" need to be removed from our vocabulary when trying to quit. Its defeatist in a way. We are capable of much more than we think we are. I am sure you are too.

Radix

Hello Auntlinda,

One thing to consider, if you have the resources available to you, is an inpatient rehab stay. (Not a medical detox, but inpatient addiction treatment.) The thing that makes inpatient clearly different from outpatient treatment or meetings is that you are physically separated from alcohol for the duration of your stay. If you find yourself forever on Day 1 (or as I liked to call it when I was there, Day 0), then going into inpatient rehab can at least give you a few weeks alcohol-free to clear your mind. I realize not everyone has access to this kind of thing, sadly.

Hevyn

Great to have you with us, Auntlinda. You never have to feel alone - we all understand how difficult it is.

I drank 30 yrs. & couldn't imagine my life without it. Being here made all the difference. You can get free.

Auntlinda

I'm so glad I finally posted here. I'm going to commit to more interaction--definitely feels different than lurking! Thank you so much!

@wildflower70–this really hits home...nothing overly "horrible" has happened (although the sum of troubles is pretty bad), but I KNOW something will happen soon. I don't want to go there.

I have tried inpatient and would really prefer not to go back. I know, I know...but the treatment methods seemed so dated to me. It was the same place Eminem went to (ha!) definitely not celebrity style. He relapsed then got sober on his own...gives me some hope

Auntlinda

Also—I'm going to keep re-reading this thread as a reminder. Thank you again everyone for your support and advice!

Hercules

That’s what makes us different to normal moderate or even heavy drinkers... no matter how unbearable it gets we will still find an excuse and say things like I can’t commit.

When I Read an alcoholic say I can’t commit to sobriety what I really hear is that it’s too much hard work to stop drinking!!

Committing is an action that you do every day to keep you sober, like committing to yourself not to take the first drink or get to therapy or eat correctly.

Your drinking a pint of vodka a day ... how long will you last like that or what sort of quality life can you expect? See it’s funny how we can commit easily to killing ourselves but struggle to commit to living healthy.

My commitment to sobriety is strong because I put in actions everyday that help me stay sober, you need to use the same will power you have to drink a pint of vodka a day to help give up alcohol and seek the support you need.

Good luck.

Stayingsassy

You contradict yourself.

"Life is unbearable"

"I don't want to put aside the things I'm looking forward to"

Is your misery a worthy price to pay for the the alcoholic events? If it is, drink. Get through your events first. Don't drive. Make sure you eat.

Is your misery at the point where the price of alcohol admission to your lips is too high? Quit and commit. Be done.

Fence sitting is no way to live. It also will never, ever stick a quit.

don't lie to yourself. You won't have it both ways: the alcohol fuelled events and no misery. The misery is the price alcoholics pay for drinking.

Stayingsassy

This such truth.

What we think drinking will be, vs what the drinking actually is. We must look at the truth.

I waited until my birthday weekend and had the worst weekend of my life.

It's guaranteed to be awful auntlinda, and it only gets worse.

Sobriety is hard because you must commit several times a day, but it is simple, and it gives your your dignity back.

1. Don't drink, ever.
2. Repeat every day.

teatreeoil007

One of my old teachers said more than once, "There is no such thing as 'I can't'". I don't know if he threw that out to get us thinking....or if he truly believed that. I think he liked to believe that....and it was meant as a challenge....perhaps the real message there is that if you want something bad enough you do away with the mindset of "I can't."

Yeah, a lot of it is mindset.

Renvate

swap I CANT commit

with

HOW CAN i commit

Now say that out loud a few times and you will begin to feel your brain working to find new solutions, its what we do as humans we naturally find solutions to problems.