MissPerfumado

One of my motivations to get sober was an imminent move back home after spending years abroad. It meant transferring home from a smaller regional office. I figured my career wouldn't survive the more intense professional scrutiny at HQ with my head in the bottle, and sobered up in preparation.

So 6 months sober, I moved countries and into a relatively alien job environment. As I was still finding my sober feet, the move amped up my social anxiety in some professional situations.

Optimally, I would have waited an additional 6 months, to have about a year sober when I made the move. I was much better, psychologically speaking, a year into sobriety.

But I had a good recovery plan going, and relied on that steadily. Never did I feel that my sobriety was threatened, it was more the side effects of being still tender in recovery while making that huge change.

wildflower70

I am thinking of moving to a new city to start a business. It is a much, much smaller, quiet resort town that is known for low key living.
The mentality where I live now is do more, spend more, and make more money. I'm wanting something more peaceful and serene. I have saved up for the move, so I'm good there. In a way, I think I'm looking to reinvent my life and surround myself with those who are like-minded. I want to spend more time in nature, not shopping malls.
I'm not in a rush, so it would probably be 6 more months before the move anyway. I am wondering if other folks decided a big change was healthy in early sobriety or harmful. Obviously my sobriety comes first, and I can wait if that's recommended.

wildflower70

"Be sure you're capable of travelling on rough seas would be my advice "

Thanks Dee,

This is good advice, as with all of the input received here! I think the best decision is to start seriously planning the move, but at a slow pace. I can take my time and not feel rushed, so that those seas aren't so rough (maybe a few small waves).

Sometimes I have mixed feelings about the move, but deep down inside I think it is just fear. I have lost so much in my life from alcohol, including some of my self-esteem, and it's taking some time to convince myself that I am capable of making the life I have always dreamed of....

I will mention, I don't have any support (emotional or mental) for this move. My friends love it here so much, they think it's foolish to leave. And, my immediate family is so money driven, they don't even know what serenity means...

But, heh...I'm a pretty smart cookie. I quit drinking, that's pretty smart!

JackD89

I think for me being sober was the first time I realized I could be comfortable in my own skin and in my own life. While I was drinking all I ever wanted to do was make massive changes in my life because I was so unhappy. Sobriety has taught me to be happy in my current situation and let things come to me.

I now realize change happens at a particular pace and living in this moment is the best thing I can do for my sobriety. The more I think about the "could have beens" or the "could bes" the more I drive myself crazy.

I feel like the advice to not have any big changes in the early days of sobriety, for me anyway, is about learning how to live in the now.

thomas11

Absolutely that was a big part of it. When I was a drunk my ability to think and communicate effectively was poor. But when I sobered up my confidence came back and I could problem solve effortlessly and I am able to communicate and articulate my thoughts. I also have the energy necessary to take on new challenges. When drunk or hungover I think we tend to isolate. I know it did. I wish you the best.

entropy1964

I'll just speak from personal experience. I would only make large decisions if I had to....not simply because I could. Moving for a new job for example. Or selling my home to move to a better home, if that is what made sense. Moving out of a bad living situation....that is often necessary to stay sober. Breaking off unhealthy relationships that threaten my sobriety. I wouldn't actively pursue a new one...that's just me.

I've been one of those people that pulled 'geographicals'...moving because I thought the move itself would somehow reinvent me. Looking to another person to solve my problems....basically as long as my recovery is solidly an inside job and I'm not making large external decisions to 'cure' me, the change is probably ok.