I will take it one hour at a time, thank you. I ate a Quest Bar and am going to get to painting. I will get through 10-11 and check in again. Hoping not to touch the stupid cookies. Maybe I'll put them in the car...

:hug: s

Just remember not to air drum....gosh....Purps cracks me up. :) ♥

Sunshine, I think you need to get rid of those cookies. Put them in the car or better in the garbage. Would say the same thing if it were a bottle of wine...why tempt yourself?

I was kind of thinking that as well. :hug:

Well I ate half of them already. Going to dump the rest down the garbage disposal now- trash can isn't good enough. I was saving them for the kids but they don't need them either. Thanks guys.

Garbage disposals are fantastic....you can hear the glee as they eat all of the junk we don't want....I love that noise. :) ♥

Oh the eggs were just a snack! Our dinner tonight is "Pepsi Max chicken" a slimmimg world dish with a Chinese style. Lots of peppers, onions, mushrooms and roasted butternut squash in it too. Yum Yum!
Wishing you a peaceful day sweetheart ❤❤❤

Sounds great- enjoy it!

Dear all-

Sunflowerlife what a wonderful idea for a thread and to get traffic about this topic as the Eating Disorder side of things tends to be on the slow side!

I have been working on food recovery for 18+ years. During the time of my own recovery work I met, loved and married a problem drinker and it is that relationship that got me to this site.

I have been thinking about this thread for some time and want to contribute my own ESH. For me compulsive eating (and all of the permutation and combinations of it which has been restricting to overeating) has been less about ONE particular food or a type of food and more about eating it because I am trying to numb out and not deal with my reality. My recovery really took off when I started to pay an appropriate amount of attention to food (for a long time it was the only thing I thought about....except exercise too), rather than following a strict or rigid eating plan.

I can binge on sweets but also can binge on traditional protein/fat foods. I can binge because I am H.A.L.T. I could binge because I was happy or sad. For me my eating disorder has been less about food and more about my discomfort of being in my own reality and about not using my voice.

As my recovery has progressed my actual binges might be less about a volume of food and more about feeling out of control.

I am not saying that talk of food is not important, I am saying that if I kept the focus ONLY on food it was not allowing me to truly dig into the reasons I was using food inappropriately. I also have found that if I am focusing on food, and someone else is following a different plan than I spend a lot of time comparing and contrasting and trying to make my "food" plan look like someone elses....when it falls short it is a trigger for me. If I am talking about how I feel around food and challenges around it it was less about a diet plan and more about the human condition.

As of today, I do not struggle with alcohol so this is not necessarily an appropriate piece for me to write but reading some of these posts has felt like when I read posts about people surprised that they can struggle with alcohol because they only drink beer. I can't imagine us having debates about what kind of alcohol is best when it comes to a problem drinker, but it can be easy to fall into this with food.

The most important part of healing for me has been about giving myself a break.....when I did that about food I actually found that it became easier for me to be with me....even if I made a poor choice. Beating up on myself kept me in shame, which in turn made me feel bad and would send me into a spiral in which I would engage with food.

Sharing my discomfort also helped. I have used counseling, 12 step programs, a dietitian, body work (massage), and other modalities to help my disordered patterns. Regardless for me reason for being in my recovery modality they seemed to help all of my "dis-ease."

So please don't take this post as a criticism....it is not. It is meant to ask though in addition to talking about food challenges to ask how you are feeling when you engaged with food? Do you have other stress going on? Are you trying to take on too much (many people are working on sobriety too)? What support do you have in place for your recovery(s)?

Some books that have helped me a lot in this healing:
Anita Johnson's Eating in the Light of the Moon
Anything written by Geneen Roth

Thanks again and as always please take what you like and leave the rest.

Hey LifeRecovery. Great post!

I've heard people say that alcoholism kills you in the order of spirit, mind, and body and you heal in the order of body, mind, and spirit. I wonder if the same can be said of EDs? For me, the talk of macros and minimizing sugar is important because it's the nutritional platform for the other, long-term healing on the level of mind and spirit. Minimizing sugar helps me avoid binging AND helps me avoid alcohol. I don't think I'm disagreeing with you--just adding my two cents, based on my many many ups and downs.

So I almost ran out of paint but I managed to make it all work!
So glad I can rest for twenty minutes before getting my son. I will have to do the windows on Sunday.

https://s33.postimg.cc/sqy6jy7e7/AB2...01946_DE95.jpg

That looks gorgeous! Love the shade of the blue and the contrast with the brick :)

and I think it goes really well with cookies in the garbage disposal and a big pat on the back :)

Hi LifeRecovery- I don't take anything you wrote as a criticism at all and truly value your experience and input.

I felt like this for years actually, that I was binging because of my emotional state and that the food itself wasn't the real issue. Then I heard a mind blowing podcast that changed my mind, a few weeks ago where the connection was made between brain chemistry, alcoholism , sugar and eating disorders. I feel like there are actually 2 schools of thought when it comes to binge eating: One says not to restrict any foods and that we are to learn how to eat anything in a health manner. That once we "fix" our emotional state around food, we will be able to eat all things in moderation.

The other school and the one that resonates with me and which I feel is true for my body is the approach that my body cannot metabolize carbohydrates the way a "normal eater" can just like my body cannot handle the sugar in a glass of wine. This is why for me abstinence from sugar and refined carbs is the only way to keep from binge eating (or binge less often). I have seen it over, and over again. It is the cycle I have been stuck in for years. Because I binged yesterday and there is still a lot of glucose in my system, it is much harder for me to eat normally today even though I'm having a great day emotionally.

Having said that I 100% agree that it's not just about the food. If it was, keto would have cured me. If it was just about the food I wouldn't be going to OA meetings. I totally believe this is physiological, spiritual and emotional problem and I am addressing all 3 aspects of it currently. I am in a spiritual development class and learned Reiki earlier this year. I see a therapist. And I go to OA. But I know in my heart of hearts that I will most likely never be able to sit down with a piece of cake and be satisfied after it just like I can't drink one glass of wine.

I don't binge on healthy foods. I have heard of people doing so but for me it's always been sugar and refined carbs. I remember my old therapists telling me one of her patients would binge on a bag of apples and I couldn't understand it to save my life. The point is that we are all different. While some of us will be able to eat sweets in moderation, for me it doesn't work. Even if I make a low carb dessert with sweeteners that technically do not affect my blood sugar, it can cause a reaction in me where I want to eat compulsively (because of the chemical reactions taking place in my body.)

The addiction specialist I follow (who was on the podcast that blew my mind) is Bitten Jonsson. Here is the website that explains food addiction more if you are interested. Again, I am sure this does not apply to all people who have food issues. But for me I think it is hereditary as my mother also struggles when she eats sugar and flour (although she does not have a drinking problem.)

https://foodaddictioninstitute.org/w...ood-addiction/

From the website:

"Points to remember:\

Food addiction is a chronic disease characterized by a person’s seeking foods the individual is addicted to and for whom use of that food is compulsive, and difficult to control, despite harmful consequences.

Brain changes can occur over time with compulsive eating. This can challenge an addicted person’s self-control and interfere with one’s ability to resist intense urges to eat these foods (sometimes described as cravings.) This is why people who suffer with food addiction can often relapse, even after long periods of successful abstinence.

Relapse is the return to eating these foods after an attempt to stop. Relapse indicates the need for more or different treatment. It may also mean that another food is triggering the relapse.

Certain foods such as sugar can affect the brain's reward circuit by flooding it with the chemical messenger dopamine. This overstimulation of the reward circuit causes the intensely pleasurable "high" that leads people to consume a particular food or particular foods again and again.

Over time, the brain can adjust to excess dopamine, which reduces the high that the person feels compared to the high felt when first eating these foods—an effect known as “tolerance.” This often results in seeking to eat more of these foods, in an attempt to achieve the previous levels of satisfaction.

For a great many people, abstinence is the solution."

Again, thank you so much for your input- I truly value seeing all sides of this!

Here is another article that explains it really well.

https://www.recovery.org/pro/article...rug-addiction/

Sunflower and Professor D-

I actually don't think we are in two minds on this at all or on two opposing sides of it. I agree with very much of what you are writing. I had foods that I could not keep in the house for periods of time and I don't eat the same at all as I did (in part because of the science changes).

What I was responding to was that some of posts are only talking about one angle of their recovery and for me it was much more than that, and my unwillingness to explore that angle kept me stuck. I had to incorporate mind, body and spirit (and I suspect any true recovery does), and I was more resistant to those than I was to diets. It had to include more than just food, just like all the hard work you wrote above. Heck I even went to college for a food related profession.....I suspect to "fix" myself.

When I first started this journey I had the idea if I ate the perfect meal plan it would all be better.....but just a meal plan was not enough for me.

I did not write this and I should have in my original post. This journey has been hard and at time harrowing, but I am so glad that I started it and have continued with it. It has given me the most valuable gift.....myself. That was worth all the paths I have walked in this life recovery (which is why I have my name). Recovery is possible, and we are all worth it!

I also think that food challenges can start so young....it is one of the original sources of comfort.....of course it can be deeply embedded and can come rushing back as we start to heal other pieces of ourselves.

My intent was not to polarize but to build upon the food path.

Thanks for reading the novel!

To be fair I just realized the title of this thread is Food Addiction. This is an appropriate title, but not necessarily an appropriate response from me about non-food items. Hmmmm let me think about some more. Sorry I should have ruminated on that before posting.

Thanks ProfessorD :)

Please don't apologize- I really do want to talk about things more than just food- this is a really new thread with only a few people talking about their food issues and I know intime it will evolve and we will all open up more and explore other angles of it. I would love to explore all aspects of an eating disorder, truly. Please don't stop contributing to the thread!

I can actually start opening up right now and addressing the non-food issues:

I should have known this day was going to trigger me to binge as it's my last day until September that I will have alone time in this house. My 3 year old had has last day at preschool for the year and so from this moment on he is with me 9+ hours a day, every single day through the summer. I am stressed about it for many reason:

1) I am an empath and need a lot of space to feel secure and balanced
2) I get stressed very easily and 3.5 year olds can cause a lot of stress
3) With summer approaching I will be joining the pool which means even more pressure on myself to look a certain way every day (self induced pressure of course.)
4) Just being alone in an empty house has always been a binge trigger.

So there are definitely known reason as to why I felt the urge (and gave in) to binge today as a "last horrah." I also get high off the sneakiness of having the whole house to myself and eating as much as I want. It's sick but I know I'm not the only compulsive eater who does this.

Anyway, It wasn't worth it, it never is. I can't wait for these urges to be a thing of the past and one day I am certain I will get there..

Thanks for the push LifeRecovery. I truly appreciate it!

Nope this post has gotten more posts in a few days than all put together since I have been here on the Eating Disorder side of things. I actually asked a number of years ago if there were any suggestions for getting more traffic, and am tickled at the traffic here! I don't plan on going anywhere.

I also have a lot to say on the topic, but not all of my statements need to be heard.

With that said thanks for stepping out about today. I don't have kids but I know the pull of isolation as permission to give in to food behavior.

What are some non-food rewards you do for you for your self-care?

Sunflower,
Im sorry you had some trouble. I get the trips to the cabinet- oh too well. I too, am having trouble going more than a couple days- and in today's case- just one day because I ate a hunk of my sons birthday cake today which makes me want to just go all out and eat more, and more. Cant really throw away his birthday cake on his birthday so I covered it and shoved it to the back of the counter.
Concerning recovery (any kind of recovery really) today is all we have. I tend to beat myself up when I dont do things just right. Im trying to change that. Right now, I can do it different from this moment forward and thats my goal for the rest of the day.
See, you did something positive by getting on your bike.Good for you! I think we need to remember victory moments more. At least I do.
Its funny you mention leptin. My endo talked to me about this last visit but I really dont understand it. Thank you for sending a link. Thats really nice of you. Like weve talked about- all the information can be so overwhelming. Nice when someone can share something they think it useful- I like concise information. Also, thanks for the app idea.
With Hashi, people say to go wheat free, but so many alternatives have corn in them. At least thats what I have experienced. I have a slight corn allergy which manifests into headaches, and more.

I hope today has been better- btw, your fireplace area looks great. I really like the color. Im working on that area in my house too tomorrow. Going to prep some tonight. Stay busy.

:thanks