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Purplrks3647 06-10-2018 08:08 AM

Hello friends...I'm still not making the best nutrition choices, but I'm at least sober....I will need to eventually get caught up reading posts 'cause I know this thread can be helpful to me. Just wanted to check in and say hi! :wave:

PeacefulWater12 06-10-2018 09:59 AM

Am working my day 4.

Yesterday was full of inner anger, distorted thinking. Indecision. Strong cravings for sugar. Creating theatre plays in my head whereby it would make it ok for me to cave and go buy sugary foods. I did not listen, I could see what lies it was.

Have increased my (gentle, healing) exercise which has helped enormously.

Today I can see myself as the future, long term abstinent, little lady that I want to be.

Keeping food to mostly protein at this stage. Plus lots of fluid.

Glad to be part of this group.

Today is much better. Calm, zero cravings.

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 02:25 PM


Originally Posted by Purplrks3647 (Post 6922424)
Hello friends...I'm still not making the best nutrition choices, but I'm at least sober....I will need to eventually get caught up reading posts 'cause I know this thread can be helpful to me. Just wanted to check in and say hi! :wave:

So happy you are sober and so happy to hear from you. The food will come together in due time for all us. Itís a lot to juggle two addictions at once and we really are doing our best. I am proud of all of us!

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 02:27 PM


Originally Posted by PeacefulWater12 (Post 6922519)
Am working my day 4.

Yesterday was full of inner anger, distorted thinking. Indecision. Strong cravings for sugar. Creating theatre plays in my head whereby it would make it ok for me to cave and go buy sugary foods. I did not listen, I could see what lies it was.

Have increased my (gentle, healing) exercise which has helped enormously.

Today I can see myself as the future, long term abstinent, little lady that I want to be.

Keeping food to mostly protein at this stage. Plus lots of fluid.

Glad to be part of this group.

Today is much better. Calm, zero cravings.

“Theatre Plays...” I LOVE this analogy and I’m going to remind myself of that phrase the next time I fantasize about food. It’s not real- it’s just a show- if anything it’s a preview to a show we already know the ending to. You are truly awesome for making it through all of that and not caving.

Do you mind sharing your gentle exercise? I am happy you have found something that is helping you.

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 02:33 PM

It’s been a crappy day over here. I did great food wise- haven’t deviated or even wanted to binge today. Honestly I haven’t had a chance between the gym, and trip to Target and then a 4 years olds bday party. I did have a slight craving for wine as they were offering it (at 1 in the afternoon) at the party but it passed within minutes Thank God.

My day has been bad because my husband and I are not getting along. The power struggles are endless today and I could tell he was annoyed when I reminded him that I was leaving at 5 for my OA meeting tonight. I have so much guilt about leaving him with the boys once a week - they are a handful and our oldest is having a very hard time with his anger these last two days. It’s hard to watch.

Anyway. I’m hiding in the basement watching Netflix (The Staircase) while the boys get heir tablets for an hour. I just need some space today. My meeting is in 45 minutes and I’m looking forward to it. Last week I came home and ate sugar. Luckily there is no sugar in the house for me to eat and I hope that I won’t want some after the meeting anyway. I’d love to start the week off without a carb hangover.

I’ll check in before bed again.

PeacefulWater12 06-10-2018 02:36 PM


Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife (Post 6922717)
ďTheatre Plays...Ē I LOVE this analogy and Iím going to remind myself of that phrase the next time I fantasize about food. Itís not real- itís just a show- if anything itís a preview to a show we already know the ending to. You are truly awesome for making it through all of that and not caving.

Do you mind sharing your gentle exercise? I am happy you have found something that is helping you.

Thank you, Sun Flower Life, I would be happy to share my gentle exercise.

As a little background, I was addicted to punishing harsh exercise some years ago. Really hammered my poor body and joints, as well as starving at the time. So the whole toxic regime was very self destructive.

My gentle, loving self care regime now is Pilates and Yoga classes at a fabulous mind, body and spirit style holistic gym near my home. Alongside body massages.

So kindness instead of punishment.

We know the ending of each relapse, don't we? Also the food, alcohol, additive behaviour etc is never as good as we tell ourselves it is going to be. As I understand it, it is when we make the decision to indulge that our brains release the feel good. The first bite onwards is all down hill.

I notice these days the worse after effect of a sugar binge is the dreadful thirst.

PeacefulWater12 06-10-2018 02:45 PM


Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife (Post 6922723)
Itís been a crappy day over here. I did great food wise- havenít deviated or even wanted to binge today. Honestly I havenít had a chance between the gym, and trip to Target and then a 4 years olds bday party. I did have a slight craving for wine as they were offering it (at 1 in the afternoon) at the party but it passed within minutes Thank God.

My day has been bad because my husband and I are not getting along. The power struggles are endless today and I could tell he was annoyed when I reminded him that I was leaving at 5 for my OA meeting tonight. I have so much guilt about leaving him with the boys once a week - they are a handful and our oldest is having a very hard time with his anger these last two days. Itís hard to watch.

Anyway. Iím hiding in the basement watching Netflix (The Staircase) while the boys get heir tablets for an hour. I just need some space today. My meeting is in 45 minutes and Iím looking forward to it. Last week I came home and ate sugar. Luckily there is no sugar in the house for me to eat and I hope that I wonít want some after the meeting anyway. Iíd love to start the week off without a carb hangover.

Iíll check in before bed again.

Sorry to read of your crappy day.

Please don't feel guilty about your OA meeting, as I see it by you attending the meeting, your whole household will benefit.

I attended OA on and off. I also used to come home and eat!

So I opted to attend a mainstream "ordinary" slimming club. Was hugely helpful to me. So is pure healthy eating talk and cooking tips etc. I have been going a couple years and love it.

I had been doing very well with abstinence but slipped lately.

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 02:46 PM


Originally Posted by PeacefulWater12 (Post 6922726)
Thank you, Sun Flower Life, I would be happy to share my gentle exercise.

As a little background, I was addicted to punishing harsh exercise some years ago. Really hammered my poor body and joints, as well as starving at the time. So the whole toxic regime was very self destructive.

My gentle, loving self care regime now is Pilates and Yoga classes at a fabulous mind, body and spirit style holistic gym near my home. Alongside body massages.

So kindness instead of punishment.

We know the ending of each relapse, don't we? Also the food, alcohol, additive behaviour etc is never as good as we tell ourselves it is going to be. As I understand it, it is when we make the decision to indulge that our brains release the feel good. The first bite onwards is all down hill.

I notice these days the worse after effect of a sugar binge is the dreadful thirst.

I agree that the thirst is awful especially in the middle of the night when I reach over and realize my glass is empty of water. Nothing like a 1 am trip to the kitchen for water because my poor body is crying for hydration.

I have noticed lately how non pleasing the binges are. Past the first five minutes there is no pleasure. The food doesn’t taste good. I look back and think it wasn’t even worth it every single time. Maybe this is a good thing and will make it easier to stop engaging in the behavior. Thanks again. I would love to add yoga to my exercise. So soothing for the soul. And massages are a piece of heaven! Wish I could get them regularly. I used to get acupressure at this little place in the mall that offers $1 a minute. It’s been a while but I really think I will go again soon :)

WeaverBird 06-10-2018 02:56 PM

Hey Sun, I've come to visit your thread. I read right through it today and it's great. I wrote a post, and that turned into like a long long story of the impact of food in my life and it was such a shock. I didn't like to post it.

Am going to try to calm things down food wise tomorrow but after seeing the impact it has had for the whole of my life I don't think I'm going to be able to change it using my willpower.
I guess I need support and to change old behaviours and thinking.

I know I run to the fridge the moment a situation threatens my fragile ego.

Love and prayers to all, Weev

PeacefulWater12 06-10-2018 02:59 PM

That is a good way of putting it, that food binges are no longer pleasing.

I used to enjoy them immensely. Truly immensely. I don't now. They are just boring hard work. The whole thing of walking down to the shop to buy in the binge food, eating it compulsively is just tedious now.

All pleasure long gone. Same as it got with alcohol for me. Just work. No reward.

A little massage treat would be lovely for you.

For me, the yoga, pilates, massages still cost less than I would have wasted on food binges.

Liebe 06-10-2018 04:20 PM


Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife (Post 6922723)
Itís been a crappy day over here. I did great food wise- havenít deviated or even wanted to binge today. Honestly I havenít had a chance between the gym, and trip to Target and then a 4 years olds bday party. I did have a slight craving for wine as they were offering it (at 1 in the afternoon) at the party but it passed within minutes Thank God.

My day has been bad because my husband and I are not getting along. The power struggles are endless today and I could tell he was annoyed when I reminded him that I was leaving at 5 for my OA meeting tonight. I have so much guilt about leaving him with the boys once a week - they are a handful and our oldest is having a very hard time with his anger these last two days. Itís hard to watch.

Anyway. Iím hiding in the basement watching Netflix (The Staircase) while the boys get heir tablets for an hour. I just need some space today. My meeting is in 45 minutes and Iím looking forward to it. Last week I came home and ate sugar. Luckily there is no sugar in the house for me to eat and I hope that I wonít want some after the meeting anyway. Iíd love to start the week off without a carb hangover.

Iíll check in before bed again.

I know what its like not getting along with a husband. Can really throw my mood into a tailspin.
Good for you for sticking with your food goals- and avoiding temptation at the kids party.
Be good to yourself today- nothing wrong with self care ( resting, going to your meeting).
Lets all try to make it a good week!

venuscat 06-10-2018 04:37 PM

Here to support my girl and all of you....seriously crappy day for me too.
Food is not the issue right now, but I am struggling....thinking of you. ♥♥

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 05:59 PM


Originally Posted by Liebe (Post 6922826)
I know what its like not getting along with a husband. Can really throw my mood into a tailspin.
Good for you for sticking with your food goals- and avoiding temptation at the kids party.
Be good to yourself today- nothing wrong with self care ( resting, going to your meeting).
Lets all try to make it a good week!

It’s awful isn’t it? I want so badly to get to the point where I can just not react to him. Why is that so hard? Having said that, I used to be the same way with my oldest son and I am proud to say I totally helped him change his behavior around this evening. The serenity prayer actually saved me.

Before I began the tedious hour with him leading up to bedtime I did the serenity prayer in my closet. I said the following:

1) what can’t i change? I can’t change the way he is feeling right now or his actions
2) what courage do I need and what can I change? I can change my reactions to him
3) Do I know the difference? Yes.

He was totally out of sorts - almost out of control with his actions and words and he’s been in this mood all weekend. Well I don’t know how but he totally turned his mood around within five minutes of being around me. I often think he is reacting to the anger he gets from his dad who can’t tolerate him when he’s in these moods. They get into power struggles a lot as well.

Anyway just wanted to share that. I am going to use the prayer more often. It really helps!

Have a great week too Liebe!

ProfessorD 06-10-2018 06:04 PM

Sun, maybe it's in the air! My husband and I had little dumb fights all day. I HATE IT.

I need to catch up on reading everyone's posts, but for now I'll just mention that it's interesting to see the connection on this thread between feelings of anger and overeating. I think I need to admit I have some anger I don't process in healthy ways too. Also the codependency and people-pleasing. A lot of my anger is actually just feeling hurt and sensitive. I never want anyone to dislike or disprove of me. And when they do, I suddenly feel angry and annoyed, like haven't I done enough for you? What makes you think you are so great?

More later :)

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 06:07 PM

The meeting was great and a girl came up to me afterwards and asked me questions and gave me her number. I really connected with her which felt nice. I am going to check out a couple of different meetings around town before finding a sponsor. They pass a donation basket around each time- I don’t remember them doing this in AA for some reason plus all of the reading material has a price tag on it. I remember getting a free Big Book in AA 11 years ago. Weird. I guess times have changed. I have a book from the library now but sure I’ll end up buying my own.

Anyway- I am grateful to be free from compulsive overeating today. Thanks for the support and love everyone and I wish us all a peaceful and productive week.

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 06:09 PM


Originally Posted by ProfessorD (Post 6922921)
Sun, maybe it's in the air! My husband and I had little dumb fights all day. I HATE IT.

I need to catch up on reading everyone's posts, but for now I'll just mention that it's interesting to see the connection on this thread between feelings of anger and overeating. I think I need to admit I have some anger I don't process in healthy ways too. Also the codependency and people-pleasing. A lot of my anger is actually just feeling hurt and sensitive. I never want anyone to dislike or disprove of me. And when they do, I suddenly feel angry and annoyed, like haven't I done enough for you? What makes you think you are so great?

More later :)

I can relate to all of what you said! Sorry about the dumb fights. Itís just not fun or helpful in any way. I hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us!

Sunflowerlife 06-10-2018 06:10 PM


Originally Posted by venuscat (Post 6922842)
Here to support my girl and all of you....seriously crappy day for me too.
Food is not the issue right now, but I am struggling....thinking of you. ♥♥

Thinking of you too. I hope more than anything that Monday is a fresh start for you Suze. A day of peace inside and out. Hugs and love...

PeacefulWater12 06-10-2018 10:17 PM

Checking in as my day 5 starts. Feeling calm and energetic.

topspin 06-10-2018 10:34 PM

This thread is helpin' Sunny !

It's hard not to know of Dee's suggestions of *plans * here on SR ,..
..and earlier today it occurred to me I should have one for tonight .

I work a late shift by myself at an ocean resort in S.C and the activities director brings a tray to the front office here of whatever Krispe Kreme , and various pastries that don't get eaten at our weekly welcome coffee every Sunday morning .

For years ,..it was never a problem ( because I'd drawn a *no moderation* policy in my mind in those days ) Until one fateful night ,... I thought one or two won't hurt . Four or five later ,...nothin' bad happened ?

Talk about lettin' the Jeannie out the bottle !? I think the 14 I took home didn't see high noon the next day ?

Everything kinda' went downhill from there . And that's gotta be better than a year ago .

I'm done !

Gotta get back to keepin' it simple ,... my life's wa.aaay to complicated anyway . :)


Oh ,...about Dee's *plan* talk ,..... this evening ,.... instead of letting those sugary golden fried critters stare me down all night I took that tray ( like I used to do every single week ) around our two pools and offer them to the parents of the kids having the time of their life in the water .

Thanks Dee . :)

.. and thank you Sunny ,..for this thread !

PeacefulWater12 06-10-2018 11:07 PM

Hi Topspin

Thanks for sharing, I had to learnt to plan too. Has helped me a lot. The old drinking, overeating me loved chaos as I could always sneak some vodka or sugar in there. Now I plan I am more open and transparent and it helps stop me sneak sugary foods.

When I used to do sneaky things, I used to think it clever! I don't now. My addicted brain told me lies about sneaking made me cleverer than other people. That honest people were stupid. That to "get away" with sneaky behaviours was kind of exciting and special.

A pile of rubbish.


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