Full Disclosure, living and learning.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Full Disclosure, living and learning.
Good morning all. Well, this weekend was a bit of a cluster f**k. Saturday the 26th was day 21 of continuous sobriety for me and as I had shared on this forum, I was hosting a family party. It was a birthday/Memorial Day/anniversary combination celebration. Early in my sobriety I didn’t see how I could get through the day without alcohol, but as it got closer I was feeling strong and excited about the party and confident that I wouldn’t miss the booze.
Well, I slipped. Please, no shaming or flaming. I actually hesitated to admit any of this here because a few weeks ago someone misunderstood a post I made and thought I had started drinking again (I hadn’t) and their response upset me deeply. I was told I had put my kids through enough already, that my attitude was flippant and basically the only hope left for me was prayer. The person apologized for their mistake and I moved on, however after my slip this weekend I couldn’t help but think, well now that I actually DID slip I assume all of what they thought about me applies.
So I considered my options: I could stop posting on SR all together and save myself the embarrassment and potential shaming that would follow, or I could continue posting on SR without admitting anything, and pretend it never happened.
If I went with option #1 and disappeared from SR I would be giving up one of the most powerful tools in my recovery box. And option #2—lying—would mean another nail in my coffin. BOTH choices would land me right back at square one, back to the miserable existence I was living when alcohol ruled my life.
Screw that. I am NOT going back there, I refuse! Which leaves me with choice #3: Honesty and accountability. So here I go, sucking it up, eating crow, swallowing my pride. Yes, I am restarting my sobriety count, however, I am NOT back to where I started in any other way. Those 3 weeks of freedom have taken me to a new level spiritually and though I took a step backwards this weekend I am choosing to turn it into a learning experience that will propel me 2 steps forward on my path to complete freedom from the grips of the pathetic alcohol monster.
I already know what compelled me to drink but I know I must rehash what happened in detail for my own benefit. Complete transparency to myself is a must. Full disclosure:
I had plenty of tools in place for dealing with the party and getting around cravings. I had a cooler full of diet soda and seltzer water, and had set up crafts and activities on my patio. I also bought a 20 pack of real beer for my other guests, which I had planned to do all along. My mistake was to also buy a 12 pack of O’douls non-alcoholic beer for myself, instead of sticking to soda and seltzer.
My poison of choice has always been light beer, and O’douls tastes EXACTLY the same. I mean I’m sure someone with more selective taste buds would disagree but to me there’s no discernable difference. I had one and wanted another, and then another. I was following the same pattern I did when drinking real beer, except of course I wasn’t getting buzzed. But the craving came on like a ton of bricks. My Beast woke up and man she was loud!
“Forget your back up tools” said Beast, “just have one real beer before you eat. It’s a party for Christ’s sake, you’re not gonna go back to your old ways of drinking alone because this is where it’s OK to drink”!
And like a blind sheep or a puppet on a string I did what Beast told me to do: I slunk in the house, poured a bottle of Coors Lite into my empty can of O’douls, then rejoined the party, my family none the wiser. Before eating I did the same twice more.
So when all was said and done I had drank 3 regular beers over a span of maybe 2 hours, which left me with a barely perceptible buzz that dissolved as soon as I ate. I didn’t crave any more beer the rest of the night, even after having an upsetting tiff with my sister.
Reflecting on my actions Sunday I wasn’t sure I could even call the 3 beers a legitimate slip. More accurately—my AV was yelling “That was not a slip, you stopped at 3 just don’t make a habit of it, no need to say its Day 1”! AV was also mumbling about how stopping at 3 beers possibly meant I could drink socially at other big parties, “but only the big ones. As long as you don’t go back to drinking alone…”
Admitting this now it’s so obvious how I was falling straight into the Beast’s trap it’s almost comical, yet at the time it made sense.
On Sunday afternoon I had a few more cans of O’douls, trying to prove to myself that I could drink N/A beer and not be triggered. The feeling was similar to tip-toing through a forest you know is rigged with landmines. But Sunday I managed to escape the forest unscathed and didn’t touch the real beer. I can’t say the same for Monday.
Memorial Day, everyone was off from work and school and after watching my son march in the parade with the Boy Scouts it was a lazy kind of afternoon. There were still some O’douls in the cooler outside, as well as some leftover Coors lights. This time, just like on Saturday, the O’douls made Beast loud and rowdy. First I tried to “put out the fire” with more O’douls. I’d finished 5 of them before I realized they were actually more like fuel for the flames.
When all was said and done I had matched my fake beer with real beer: 5 for 5. This time by older son and husband knew, and I didn’t lie about it. I got to see that familiar look of disappointment in their eyes once again, knowing that whatever explanations I gave meant absolutely nothing to them. All I could do was say “I can’t drink non-alcoholic beer anymore, it’s a trigger”.
So there you have it. 3 beers on Saturday, 5 beers on Monday. Nothing horrible happened, I didn’t get wasted, I didn’t say or do anything horrible. There was no physical hangover, but there is an emotional one. Muting out all the AV chatter, I’m left with an image of myself dangling over the edge of a bridge and holding on for dear life. Had I actually gone with option 1 or 2 of leaving SR or pretending it didn’t happen I’m quite sure that would’ve left me with just one hand on the hypothetical bridge.
Instead, I’m choosing to be honest, to use all my strength to get a foothold back onto stable ground and most importantly, learn from this. O’douls will no longer be on my menu. And today is not day 24, it’s day 1. Thanks for reading my babble.
Well, I slipped. Please, no shaming or flaming. I actually hesitated to admit any of this here because a few weeks ago someone misunderstood a post I made and thought I had started drinking again (I hadn’t) and their response upset me deeply. I was told I had put my kids through enough already, that my attitude was flippant and basically the only hope left for me was prayer. The person apologized for their mistake and I moved on, however after my slip this weekend I couldn’t help but think, well now that I actually DID slip I assume all of what they thought about me applies.
So I considered my options: I could stop posting on SR all together and save myself the embarrassment and potential shaming that would follow, or I could continue posting on SR without admitting anything, and pretend it never happened.
If I went with option #1 and disappeared from SR I would be giving up one of the most powerful tools in my recovery box. And option #2—lying—would mean another nail in my coffin. BOTH choices would land me right back at square one, back to the miserable existence I was living when alcohol ruled my life.
Screw that. I am NOT going back there, I refuse! Which leaves me with choice #3: Honesty and accountability. So here I go, sucking it up, eating crow, swallowing my pride. Yes, I am restarting my sobriety count, however, I am NOT back to where I started in any other way. Those 3 weeks of freedom have taken me to a new level spiritually and though I took a step backwards this weekend I am choosing to turn it into a learning experience that will propel me 2 steps forward on my path to complete freedom from the grips of the pathetic alcohol monster.
I already know what compelled me to drink but I know I must rehash what happened in detail for my own benefit. Complete transparency to myself is a must. Full disclosure:
I had plenty of tools in place for dealing with the party and getting around cravings. I had a cooler full of diet soda and seltzer water, and had set up crafts and activities on my patio. I also bought a 20 pack of real beer for my other guests, which I had planned to do all along. My mistake was to also buy a 12 pack of O’douls non-alcoholic beer for myself, instead of sticking to soda and seltzer.
My poison of choice has always been light beer, and O’douls tastes EXACTLY the same. I mean I’m sure someone with more selective taste buds would disagree but to me there’s no discernable difference. I had one and wanted another, and then another. I was following the same pattern I did when drinking real beer, except of course I wasn’t getting buzzed. But the craving came on like a ton of bricks. My Beast woke up and man she was loud!
“Forget your back up tools” said Beast, “just have one real beer before you eat. It’s a party for Christ’s sake, you’re not gonna go back to your old ways of drinking alone because this is where it’s OK to drink”!
And like a blind sheep or a puppet on a string I did what Beast told me to do: I slunk in the house, poured a bottle of Coors Lite into my empty can of O’douls, then rejoined the party, my family none the wiser. Before eating I did the same twice more.
So when all was said and done I had drank 3 regular beers over a span of maybe 2 hours, which left me with a barely perceptible buzz that dissolved as soon as I ate. I didn’t crave any more beer the rest of the night, even after having an upsetting tiff with my sister.
Reflecting on my actions Sunday I wasn’t sure I could even call the 3 beers a legitimate slip. More accurately—my AV was yelling “That was not a slip, you stopped at 3 just don’t make a habit of it, no need to say its Day 1”! AV was also mumbling about how stopping at 3 beers possibly meant I could drink socially at other big parties, “but only the big ones. As long as you don’t go back to drinking alone…”
Admitting this now it’s so obvious how I was falling straight into the Beast’s trap it’s almost comical, yet at the time it made sense.
On Sunday afternoon I had a few more cans of O’douls, trying to prove to myself that I could drink N/A beer and not be triggered. The feeling was similar to tip-toing through a forest you know is rigged with landmines. But Sunday I managed to escape the forest unscathed and didn’t touch the real beer. I can’t say the same for Monday.
Memorial Day, everyone was off from work and school and after watching my son march in the parade with the Boy Scouts it was a lazy kind of afternoon. There were still some O’douls in the cooler outside, as well as some leftover Coors lights. This time, just like on Saturday, the O’douls made Beast loud and rowdy. First I tried to “put out the fire” with more O’douls. I’d finished 5 of them before I realized they were actually more like fuel for the flames.
When all was said and done I had matched my fake beer with real beer: 5 for 5. This time by older son and husband knew, and I didn’t lie about it. I got to see that familiar look of disappointment in their eyes once again, knowing that whatever explanations I gave meant absolutely nothing to them. All I could do was say “I can’t drink non-alcoholic beer anymore, it’s a trigger”.
So there you have it. 3 beers on Saturday, 5 beers on Monday. Nothing horrible happened, I didn’t get wasted, I didn’t say or do anything horrible. There was no physical hangover, but there is an emotional one. Muting out all the AV chatter, I’m left with an image of myself dangling over the edge of a bridge and holding on for dear life. Had I actually gone with option 1 or 2 of leaving SR or pretending it didn’t happen I’m quite sure that would’ve left me with just one hand on the hypothetical bridge.
Instead, I’m choosing to be honest, to use all my strength to get a foothold back onto stable ground and most importantly, learn from this. O’douls will no longer be on my menu. And today is not day 24, it’s day 1. Thanks for reading my babble.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery again. 
FYI, if any member upsets you, you can 1) report a post so mods will see it 2) put the member on Ignore.
We often have threads about low-alcohol beer/wine and it seems for many people, it's too close to the drinking alcohol habit. I actually got rid of all my wine glasses when I stopped drinking and I'm glad I don't have to look at them anymore.
FYI, if any member upsets you, you can 1) report a post so mods will see it 2) put the member on Ignore.
We often have threads about low-alcohol beer/wine and it seems for many people, it's too close to the drinking alcohol habit. I actually got rid of all my wine glasses when I stopped drinking and I'm glad I don't have to look at them anymore.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
yeah, I never understood the near beer thing...or even the penchant some in AA have for drinking ginger ale that comes in brown bottles and looks like beer.
I want to get as far away from anything that might be alcohol as possible. I don't even serve alcohol at my house. I don't buy it for others, and I don't drink mocktails.
I want to get as far away from anything that might be alcohol as possible. I don't even serve alcohol at my house. I don't buy it for others, and I don't drink mocktails.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Glad you made it back BND, and you are right it could have been worse. NA beer was a one way ticket to regular beer for me too, I don't touch the stuff anymore.
Other than not drinking NA beer, what else do you think you might be able to add to your recovery plan moving forward? There will be other tests and "triggers" that will pop up over time.
Other than not drinking NA beer, what else do you think you might be able to add to your recovery plan moving forward? There will be other tests and "triggers" that will pop up over time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: North of the UK (one of the cold bits)
Posts: 672
Hi BrandNew
I reckon most of us have been where you are now at one time or another. Main thing is you're back with us I'm sure that the person who upset you didn't mean to but as Anna says, the mods will sort it out if you want to take things further.
I must admit, it's much safer for me if I stick to my favourite soft drinks too. (Partner offered me a sip of a new Berry cider at the weekend and I thought, "wow, thanks - that's brave and rather fool-hardy of you" but I wouldn't have dared try it anyway. Although it's starting to get to a stage now where I'd rather not. She says hoping that this continues).
Anyhoo - fair play to you and well done coming back to SR. Hoping to see you around. x
I reckon most of us have been where you are now at one time or another. Main thing is you're back with us
I'm sure that the person who upset you didn't mean to but as Anna says, the mods will sort it out if you want to take things further. I must admit, it's much safer for me if I stick to my favourite soft drinks too. (Partner offered me a sip of a new Berry cider at the weekend and I thought, "wow, thanks - that's brave and rather fool-hardy of you" but I wouldn't have dared try it anyway. Although it's starting to get to a stage now where I'd rather not. She says hoping that this continues).
Anyhoo - fair play to you and well done coming back to SR. Hoping to see you around. x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
it has been my experience that those "I slipped and nothing horrible happened" events have been some of the biggest challenges to my sobriety.
because - when nothing horrible happened, it became 'evidence'. Oh-so-subtly, oh-so-sneakily.... to be trotted out by my AV the next time a situation arose.... "ahh c'mon.... remeber last time it was FINE"....
And with each time, tiptoeing gradually closer to "see? NO PROBLEM" and then eventually back to "Let's just be a moderate drinker. It's totally fine, obviously...."
And then eventually back to binges and blackouts and a worsening of the cycle.
I'm glad you chose to share your relapse and I'm glad you've chosen to look at this as an opportunity to learn and hopefully to reinforce your sobriety.
I hope you'll use the occasion to consciously, purposely reflect on ALL the things you've done when it did "turn out horribly".... and to reflect on the things you might have done with your life and your time instead of drinking.... and to reflect on the person you truly and most deeply want to be.... and to hold that all up in the light of what happened and honestly ask yourself what you want to do next to deepen and improve your sobriety - and your life.
because - when nothing horrible happened, it became 'evidence'. Oh-so-subtly, oh-so-sneakily.... to be trotted out by my AV the next time a situation arose.... "ahh c'mon.... remeber last time it was FINE"....
And with each time, tiptoeing gradually closer to "see? NO PROBLEM" and then eventually back to "Let's just be a moderate drinker. It's totally fine, obviously...."
And then eventually back to binges and blackouts and a worsening of the cycle.
I'm glad you chose to share your relapse and I'm glad you've chosen to look at this as an opportunity to learn and hopefully to reinforce your sobriety.
I hope you'll use the occasion to consciously, purposely reflect on ALL the things you've done when it did "turn out horribly".... and to reflect on the things you might have done with your life and your time instead of drinking.... and to reflect on the person you truly and most deeply want to be.... and to hold that all up in the light of what happened and honestly ask yourself what you want to do next to deepen and improve your sobriety - and your life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Glad you are back. It's easy to step away, it's hard to hold ourselves accountable. Sobriety is the hard rode, at first, and it becomes the easy rode.
We are glad you are here, and what you LEARNED during your 3 weeks is what you take out and apply again. Every time I seriously get sober, it gets easier.
Keep up the good work!
We are glad you are here, and what you LEARNED during your 3 weeks is what you take out and apply again. Every time I seriously get sober, it gets easier.
Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Every time I fell off the wagon, it was demoralizing and embarrassing to admit to as I climbed back on; but I didn't want my tombstone to read "Died of Embarrassment" so back on I climbed. I have no regrets about every single time I had to climb back on, only gratitude; it is where I want to be and is a great ride!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 251
Alwaysss come back to SR. No shame here, ive restarted many times!!
Not going to lie... pouring your real beer into a fake can had my AV VERY happy for a second. Never thought of that before.... My insides lit up like a christmastree. That was pretty sneaky AV!!!!
But in all seriousness, youve clearly learnt even more about yourself, your triggers and how to stay sober longterm. Youve got this!
Not going to lie... pouring your real beer into a fake can had my AV VERY happy for a second. Never thought of that before.... My insides lit up like a christmastree. That was pretty sneaky AV!!!!
But in all seriousness, youve clearly learnt even more about yourself, your triggers and how to stay sober longterm. Youve got this!
formerly luvSOBERlife
Join Date: May 2018
Location: East Tennessee USA
Posts: 116
It's obvious you take this slip up seriously even if it was uneventful, BrandNewDay11. You made it back to here to SR even though it meant admitting your relapse. That takes courage and accountability. I was surprised to hear someone on this forum was so harsh towards you before. One of the big things I love about this place is the fact that all of the people I've seen are so non-judgemental. It's a very positive environment and that maximizes everyone's chances of successfully getting sober.
Personally, I have chosen to avoid anything even resembling an alcoholic beverage for as long as I live. I'm just taking that whole world completely out of my life. I'm trying to re-train my brain to be disgusted with alcohol in all of its forms and that's actually working so far. I think as long as we alcoholics feel like we're missing something, or losing something by not drinking, we're going to relapse at some point. It's inevitable with that mindset. I think if we're really being totally honest with ourselves about our terrible relationship with alcohol and all of the pain and damage it causes, we can only conclude that we want nothing to do with it ever again. There is nothing good about booze for us. We aren't missing out on anything but more pain and misery.
Personally, I have chosen to avoid anything even resembling an alcoholic beverage for as long as I live. I'm just taking that whole world completely out of my life. I'm trying to re-train my brain to be disgusted with alcohol in all of its forms and that's actually working so far. I think as long as we alcoholics feel like we're missing something, or losing something by not drinking, we're going to relapse at some point. It's inevitable with that mindset. I think if we're really being totally honest with ourselves about our terrible relationship with alcohol and all of the pain and damage it causes, we can only conclude that we want nothing to do with it ever again. There is nothing good about booze for us. We aren't missing out on anything but more pain and misery.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Get back on the horse and keep riding!
I applaud you for having the courage to post even though you were wary of the potential response.
You did right!
And your thorough and thoughtful report of your every move and thought will probably strike a chord with many who are facing similar challenges.
Reading your post may well provide a cautionary tale that will prevent them from falling into the same trap!
You’ve done not only yourself, but all of us a service in sharing!
I applaud you for having the courage to post even though you were wary of the potential response.
You did right!
And your thorough and thoughtful report of your every move and thought will probably strike a chord with many who are facing similar challenges.
Reading your post may well provide a cautionary tale that will prevent them from falling into the same trap!
You’ve done not only yourself, but all of us a service in sharing!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
“it has been my experience that those "I slipped and nothing horrible happened" events have been some of the biggest challenges to my sobriety.“
BND, first off, what’s done is done, and kudos to you for coming back!
Here’s my contribution to the post mortem:
1) Your recovery is in mortal danger. Please read and reread Freeowl’s quote above. The fact that not much happened is so much more dangerous than if you had had some bad outcome from your drinking this weekend and here’s why: Your beast will use this as evidence that drinking is ok again. “See, you’ve had a few, nothing happened”, “Maybe you can now start drinking in moderation again”, or “you already fell off the wagon, might as well keep on drinking”. Be very alert, double up on your efforts, be journaling, visiting SR, whatever.
2) You have found out that non-alcoholic beer triggers you. I leave it up to you to figure out the appropriate course of action for the next 10 years! ;-)
3) ‘People, places, and things’: I know it’s summer and you love your parties, God bless you for that, but while your recovery is less than triple digits you should avoid all temptations at any cost. Focus on ‘harmless’ entertainment - there is so much good stuff to do, reading, writing, sport, meditation.
So there - happy to help if you have any questions, otherwise keep on trucking!
BND, first off, what’s done is done, and kudos to you for coming back!
Here’s my contribution to the post mortem:
1) Your recovery is in mortal danger. Please read and reread Freeowl’s quote above. The fact that not much happened is so much more dangerous than if you had had some bad outcome from your drinking this weekend and here’s why: Your beast will use this as evidence that drinking is ok again. “See, you’ve had a few, nothing happened”, “Maybe you can now start drinking in moderation again”, or “you already fell off the wagon, might as well keep on drinking”. Be very alert, double up on your efforts, be journaling, visiting SR, whatever.
2) You have found out that non-alcoholic beer triggers you. I leave it up to you to figure out the appropriate course of action for the next 10 years! ;-)
3) ‘People, places, and things’: I know it’s summer and you love your parties, God bless you for that, but while your recovery is less than triple digits you should avoid all temptations at any cost. Focus on ‘harmless’ entertainment - there is so much good stuff to do, reading, writing, sport, meditation.
So there - happy to help if you have any questions, otherwise keep on trucking!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi BrandNewDay. Option 3 is always the best. Like I've probably told you before my bottom line here is always to post every day without fail and never lie. I'd say that was a pretty easy commitment to make given what I have received from this wonderful place. Care to join me?
Good! (I know your gonna say yes!)
Ooookkkkaaaayyyyy........now that it's all off your chest you've probably got some reality checking to go through. I say this because effectively I am you and you are me. Our drinking patterns and situations are identical BND. Only I used the real beer in the zero alcohol bottle trick about 10 years ago and life got way way worse than that in ways that seriously made me think I was close to dying from this. I think you understand addiction well enough to also know you were playing with fire from the off. The reality check I suggest is this. That addiction inside you is the sneakiest nastiest and most importantly PATIENT opponent. Any tiny little crack of light in your resolve and it'll pounce. Party at 3 weeks sober? It'll have been rubbing it's ugly stinking hands together in delight.
This is what you're up against. You are fighting for your life. Protect your sobriety with everything you've got. I know you can do it (because you are me remember) and I see an intelligent caring great mum who absolutely must grab this with both hands and never let go.
We are the lucky ones BND we have each other.
Good job posting it all with 100% honesty. It's the only way here.
Back on the horse my sweet and this time get the blinkers on and don't look back ❤❤❤
Good! (I know your gonna say yes!)
Ooookkkkaaaayyyyy........now that it's all off your chest you've probably got some reality checking to go through. I say this because effectively I am you and you are me. Our drinking patterns and situations are identical BND. Only I used the real beer in the zero alcohol bottle trick about 10 years ago and life got way way worse than that in ways that seriously made me think I was close to dying from this. I think you understand addiction well enough to also know you were playing with fire from the off. The reality check I suggest is this. That addiction inside you is the sneakiest nastiest and most importantly PATIENT opponent. Any tiny little crack of light in your resolve and it'll pounce. Party at 3 weeks sober? It'll have been rubbing it's ugly stinking hands together in delight.
This is what you're up against. You are fighting for your life. Protect your sobriety with everything you've got. I know you can do it (because you are me remember) and I see an intelligent caring great mum who absolutely must grab this with both hands and never let go.
We are the lucky ones BND we have each other.
Good job posting it all with 100% honesty. It's the only way here.
Back on the horse my sweet and this time get the blinkers on and don't look back ❤❤❤
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
You guys are all SO incredible, and thank you all for your replies and words of wisdom. So many good points were raised, I have a lot more work to do ! But all of it is helping me. With every bit of wisdom and advice you guys share with me I feel more empowered. God how I hate the feeling of being a puppet with alcohol pulling my strings!
I was so embarrassed to post this and afraid of the replies that I waited hours to get the courage to read them. WHEW! Emotionally I’m feeling so fragile and overly sensitive lately. So thank you all for the warm reception while at the same time not mincing words about the danger of what happened this weekend.
I’m going to let all of this great advice soak in my psyche and I will respond more later. Love to all! 💗💗💗
I was so embarrassed to post this and afraid of the replies that I waited hours to get the courage to read them. WHEW! Emotionally I’m feeling so fragile and overly sensitive lately. So thank you all for the warm reception while at the same time not mincing words about the danger of what happened this weekend.
I’m going to let all of this great advice soak in my psyche and I will respond more later. Love to all! 💗💗💗
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Mac4711 
“it has been my experience that those "I slipped and nothing horrible happened" events have been some of the biggest challenges to my sobriety.“
BND, first off, what’s done is done, and kudos to you for coming back!
Here’s my contribution to the post mortem:
1) Your recovery is in mortal danger. Please read and reread Freeowl’s quote above. The fact that not much happened is so much more dangerous than if you had had some bad outcome from your drinking this weekend and here’s why: Your beast will use this as evidence that drinking is ok again. “See, you’ve had a few, nothing happened”, “Maybe you can now start drinking in moderation again”, or “you already fell off the wagon, might as well keep on drinking”. Be very alert, double up on your efforts, be journaling, visiting SR, whatever.
2) You have found out that non-alcoholic beer triggers you. I leave it up to you to figure out the appropriate course of action for the next 10 years! ;-)
3) ‘People, places, and things’: I know it’s summer and you love your parties, God bless you for that, but while your recovery is less than triple digits you should avoid all temptations at any cost. Focus on ‘harmless’ entertainment - there is so much good stuff to do, reading, writing, sport, meditation.
So there - happy to help if you have any questions, otherwise keep on trucking!
BND, first off, what’s done is done, and kudos to you for coming back!
Here’s my contribution to the post mortem:
1) Your recovery is in mortal danger. Please read and reread Freeowl’s quote above. The fact that not much happened is so much more dangerous than if you had had some bad outcome from your drinking this weekend and here’s why: Your beast will use this as evidence that drinking is ok again. “See, you’ve had a few, nothing happened”, “Maybe you can now start drinking in moderation again”, or “you already fell off the wagon, might as well keep on drinking”. Be very alert, double up on your efforts, be journaling, visiting SR, whatever.
2) You have found out that non-alcoholic beer triggers you. I leave it up to you to figure out the appropriate course of action for the next 10 years! ;-)
3) ‘People, places, and things’: I know it’s summer and you love your parties, God bless you for that, but while your recovery is less than triple digits you should avoid all temptations at any cost. Focus on ‘harmless’ entertainment - there is so much good stuff to do, reading, writing, sport, meditation.
So there - happy to help if you have any questions, otherwise keep on trucking!
And...you use the word choose in some form further down in your OP - but you still use the word "slip." It worries me mightily when people insist on using a euphemism for I "drank." Because it is always a choice- whether slow or quickly upon you, it does not just happen, like an accidental fall.
Glad you shared - what is the plan for permanent sobriety?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
hI BND I'm sorry you drank, but I'm glad you're back.
As a couple of people have said, the times I drank and 'nothing bad happened' were the most dangerous of times for me.
You'll really need to be self aware to keep on top of any ideas that you might be able to drink now and again.
I think you also have to accept that you need to do more to stay sober(I'm hoping thats not counted as a shame and/or flame)
When I quit I had to make some lifestyle choices, and some of those choices were hard.
If a party is difficult for you then stay away from parties for a while - not forever but just until you grow 'sober muscles'.
Noones saying don't go out ever draw the curtains and sit in the dark - but be respectful of your recovery - nurture it and make decisions that reflect your desire to be sober
maybe its time for a defined recovery action plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
As a couple of people have said, the times I drank and 'nothing bad happened' were the most dangerous of times for me.
You'll really need to be self aware to keep on top of any ideas that you might be able to drink now and again.
I think you also have to accept that you need to do more to stay sober(I'm hoping thats not counted as a shame and/or flame)
When I quit I had to make some lifestyle choices, and some of those choices were hard.
If a party is difficult for you then stay away from parties for a while - not forever but just until you grow 'sober muscles'.
Noones saying don't go out ever draw the curtains and sit in the dark - but be respectful of your recovery - nurture it and make decisions that reflect your desire to be sober
maybe its time for a defined recovery action plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
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