looking for help and support
heroin addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Centralia, IL
Posts: 15
looking for help and support hi everyone. my name is joy and i'm an 18 yr. old recovering heroin addict. i've been on it for only 5 months, using at least every day if not 2 or 3 times daily. in the past five months, i already see my life falling apart. i dropped out of college, pawned off many of my belongings, lost 2 jobs, and most of all i lost my friends and parent's trust.
i am still living with my parents, so they realized quickly that i had a serious problem. my mother is a nurse, and insisted i be put in detox. so i went to detox about a month ago. after detox i signed myself into a in-patient rehab to make my parents happy... and to make myself get better. the biggest mistake i made was leaving rehab. i couldn't do it. once again i let everyone down and i ended up staying there a grand total of one day.
i was clean for a week and a half... and then i relapsed. i thought what the hell... i'll just use once a week... on the weekends... and that turned into every other day... and then to every day. i was just starting to regain my parents trust again, until 3 days ago. my mom found a syringe in my purse... and now i'm back to where i started. i already put my parents through this once... i don't think they'll ever trust me again
i don't know what to do or where to go... i'm detoxing at home... my mom put me on morphine, xanax, and some anti-depressants. i'm not allowed to leave the house, so i'm going crazy... hopefully this place will help me get through this. i really need the love and support.
sorry for the long intro, if you've made it thus far, thanks for reading.
joy
i am still living with my parents, so they realized quickly that i had a serious problem. my mother is a nurse, and insisted i be put in detox. so i went to detox about a month ago. after detox i signed myself into a in-patient rehab to make my parents happy... and to make myself get better. the biggest mistake i made was leaving rehab. i couldn't do it. once again i let everyone down and i ended up staying there a grand total of one day.
i was clean for a week and a half... and then i relapsed. i thought what the hell... i'll just use once a week... on the weekends... and that turned into every other day... and then to every day. i was just starting to regain my parents trust again, until 3 days ago. my mom found a syringe in my purse... and now i'm back to where i started. i already put my parents through this once... i don't think they'll ever trust me again
i don't know what to do or where to go... i'm detoxing at home... my mom put me on morphine, xanax, and some anti-depressants. i'm not allowed to leave the house, so i'm going crazy... hopefully this place will help me get through this. i really need the love and support.
sorry for the long intro, if you've made it thus far, thanks for reading.
joy
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Welcome joy,
I'm happy for you that you found this place, there are a whole heap of wonderful and supportive people here. Keep posting and share what you are going through. It will help you during the rough times and it will help all of us too cause when one of us gets better, we all get a little bit better with them.
I never tried heroin but only because it was never offered to me. God knows I tried everthing that was offered back in the day. If you post over in the N.A. forum you will get some demon specific help but a drug is a drug is a drug as far as I am concerned. All of them keep us from finding our true selves.
Keep the faith, keep committed to your recovery, and the trust you lost will come back with time. You don't have to do this all by yourself and you don't get bonus points for doing it all by yourself, so don't try to do this all by yourself. Find the people who know what you are up against and let them help you. It does get better and you CAN do this thing.
Jah Bless
I'm happy for you that you found this place, there are a whole heap of wonderful and supportive people here. Keep posting and share what you are going through. It will help you during the rough times and it will help all of us too cause when one of us gets better, we all get a little bit better with them.
I never tried heroin but only because it was never offered to me. God knows I tried everthing that was offered back in the day. If you post over in the N.A. forum you will get some demon specific help but a drug is a drug is a drug as far as I am concerned. All of them keep us from finding our true selves.
Keep the faith, keep committed to your recovery, and the trust you lost will come back with time. You don't have to do this all by yourself and you don't get bonus points for doing it all by yourself, so don't try to do this all by yourself. Find the people who know what you are up against and let them help you. It does get better and you CAN do this thing.
Jah Bless
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Centralia Community Calendar
Call 322-3178 to check Narcotics Anonymous meeting schedule. Lots of help and support at NA!
Love and hugs, Eddie :na2
Call 322-3178 to check Narcotics Anonymous meeting schedule. Lots of help and support at NA!
Love and hugs, Eddie :na2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 425
Hello Joy; My name is Diana and I am a recovering alcoholic/addict. Welcome to SR. You will find wonderfully supportive people here.
Sounds like you have learned a valuable lesson with your relapse. You, like many of us thought you could restrict your using to weekends etc.
We have to accept that this is much bigger than we are, and will take control of us again if given the chance.
Try not to beat yourself up. Once you are clean for a while again, you will earn back your parents trust and regain your own self respect.
Many of us have relapsed after being clean for long periods. The important thing is that we came back.
All the best to you honey
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Love Diana
Sounds like you have learned a valuable lesson with your relapse. You, like many of us thought you could restrict your using to weekends etc.
We have to accept that this is much bigger than we are, and will take control of us again if given the chance.
Try not to beat yourself up. Once you are clean for a while again, you will earn back your parents trust and regain your own self respect.
Many of us have relapsed after being clean for long periods. The important thing is that we came back.
All the best to you honey
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Love Diana
Learning To Let It Be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 156
Hi Joy,
The fact that your here says a lot. Let go of the relapse but never forget it. The only way to recover is to abstain from all mind changing and mood altering substances coupled with a 12 step (hint... NA) recovery program. Make meetings - 90 in 90 days (if that sounds like a lot make a meeting a day and the 90 will take care of itself), get a sponsor and use that sponsor, get phone numbers and dial them, don't file them, come early, stay late, get a committment, get a home group, and most of all don't pick up - if you don't pick up, you can't use. Just for today, you never have to use again. Welcome! Keep coming back!
'Let it be.'
'One life you go to do what you should.'
The fact that your here says a lot. Let go of the relapse but never forget it. The only way to recover is to abstain from all mind changing and mood altering substances coupled with a 12 step (hint... NA) recovery program. Make meetings - 90 in 90 days (if that sounds like a lot make a meeting a day and the 90 will take care of itself), get a sponsor and use that sponsor, get phone numbers and dial them, don't file them, come early, stay late, get a committment, get a home group, and most of all don't pick up - if you don't pick up, you can't use. Just for today, you never have to use again. Welcome! Keep coming back!
'Let it be.'
'One life you go to do what you should.'
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
Welcome Joy!
I'm glad you found this place. You'll find much love, support, and hope here. I know I did. You don't have to go through this alone, so don't even try.
I'd like to join the others in suggesting you check out NA. I know it can seem like an intimidating idea at first, I know I was scared to death when I walked into my first AA meeting, but what I found was a kind and caring group of people who could understand where I was coming from because they'd all been there themselves.
Hang tough! There is a way out of the mess that you're in, and posting here is a great first step down that path.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
I'm glad you found this place. You'll find much love, support, and hope here. I know I did. You don't have to go through this alone, so don't even try.
I'd like to join the others in suggesting you check out NA. I know it can seem like an intimidating idea at first, I know I was scared to death when I walked into my first AA meeting, but what I found was a kind and caring group of people who could understand where I was coming from because they'd all been there themselves.
Hang tough! There is a way out of the mess that you're in, and posting here is a great first step down that path.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
Hi Joy,
I can relate.
Pawn, sold or gave away everything, can't hold a job, lost my parents trust.
Even the dealers didn't want to deal with me.
My getting high friends didn't hang out anymore
I saw my life fall apart right in front of me.
Even after right after my mother bailed me out of jail
and told me she didn't want nothing to do with me anymore.
I couldn't stop no matter how much I wanted to.
BUt.....
I kept going back to those stupid meetings no matter what.
Even after I relaps
I also got the blue book...NA Basic Text
It a funny book. I laugh a lot when I read it now.
It's the story of my life.
ONLY IN DESPERATIONS. lmao
But there are many answers in it also.
I can relate.
Pawn, sold or gave away everything, can't hold a job, lost my parents trust.
Even the dealers didn't want to deal with me.
My getting high friends didn't hang out anymore
I saw my life fall apart right in front of me.
Even after right after my mother bailed me out of jail
and told me she didn't want nothing to do with me anymore.
I couldn't stop no matter how much I wanted to.
BUt.....
I kept going back to those stupid meetings no matter what.
Even after I relaps
I also got the blue book...NA Basic Text
It a funny book. I laugh a lot when I read it now.
It's the story of my life.
ONLY IN DESPERATIONS. lmao
But there are many answers in it also.
heroin addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Centralia, IL
Posts: 15
thankyou so much for all of your support! wow... it feels so good to have people that actually understand what i'm going through. yes, i am going to start going to NA meetings and therapy and hopefully things will indeed get better. i'm taking one day at a time. thanks again for all of your much needed love.
joy
joy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
Way to go, Joy!
I'm proud of you, girl! It takes a lot of courage to make big changes and do what needs to be done to have a better life. I was pretty freaked out about going to my first meeting, but now I look forward to them.
If you start doing the right things, things WILL get better for you. It won't happen overnight, and it may not happen as fast as you'd like it to, but it WILL happen. I promise.
Hang in there, Joy! You're on the right track!
I'm proud of you, girl! It takes a lot of courage to make big changes and do what needs to be done to have a better life. I was pretty freaked out about going to my first meeting, but now I look forward to them.
If you start doing the right things, things WILL get better for you. It won't happen overnight, and it may not happen as fast as you'd like it to, but it WILL happen. I promise.
Hang in there, Joy! You're on the right track!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Joy-- Welcome to SR. I'm glad you're here because you'll find a lot of support and friendship. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are many, many others who know what you are going through and can help you through it. The first step is to get clean and sober. The next step is to learn how to live life without drugs. That's where NA comes in. So, please, keep reaching out. You cannot do this alone, but together WE CAN.
Hang in there!
jojo
Hang in there!
jojo
HOW
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: trenton nj
Posts: 7
Welcome home your in the right place.Just for today you never ever have to use again a day at a time. Try and get your hands on some NA literature. It's going to be tough but you can do it. Remember ''When the using gets tough the tough get clean''.
Livinclean
Livinclean
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