djlook

I used to have a recurring dream that I was a concert pianist. In my dream, I played every note of every song perfectly and beautifully. People would be standing, applauding, and I was loving every minute of being in the spotlight. All eyes were on me. I'd wake up from the dream so happy and pleased with myself. I would wake up and realize I couldn't play a note on a piano, but the desire was always there. Later in life, at age 40, I bought a piano and started taking lessons. My piano teacher gave me these little lessons and I was to practice exactly what my lesson was each day. I wanted to do it my way so I ignored her. I learned to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on my own and said to hell with the lessons. That's as far as I got. As I look back, I realize I had been that way all my life. Anything that took discipline didn't apply to me. Things came pretty easy to me all my life, and coupled with the impatience of wanting it all right now, and the lack of discipline was a recipe for disaster. That be me. I watched as other people studied and practiced what they had learned, be it piano lessons, art lessons, studying for a test in order to pass it, and I was envious. Actually, I was baffled and felt inadequate because I didn't possess those qualities. When I got sober, finally, and got a sponsor, she had me do little things every day like wash, dry, fold, and put away a load of clothes, one load at a time. She'd call me in the mornings and ask what my plans were for the day and I'd tell her I had so much laundry I didn't know how I'd get it all done. She always called me "Sweetheart." So she'd say, Sweetheart, go sort your clothes, choose what load is a priority, put it in the washer, put in the detergent, and call me when you've done that. I remember thinking, "What, you think I'm stupid or something." And sometimes I'd think she was trying to trick me. Neither of those were true. She just simply loved me. She knew without some guidance and direction that I'd run. I had always been a runner. I didn't want to be where I was, be with who I was with, or be doing what I was doing at that moment. So when the clothes were finished washing, I called her, then she told me to put them in the dryer, let them finish drying, fold them, then put them away. So a few days later she'd ask me how the laundry was coming along and I'd proudly tell her I had washed, dried, folded, and put away two loads of laundry that morning before she called. So who'd ever thought that practicing something so simple as doing a load of laundry would have kept me sober that day. It kept me accountable, that's for sure. To this day, I get really uncomfortable when my laundry is not folded and put away. Thank God this program is about progress and not perfection. The only thing I have to get right today 100 percent is to be willing to do whatever it takes to not pick up a drink.

Dee74

Thanks for sharing that djh

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