I’m living a nightmare...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
We're all here for you Snufkin. Remember that each hour and day and week that you are sober your body is healing. The same is true of your mind. You feel awful now but the further away from alcohol it gets the more your psyche will rebuild itself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Glad you are ok.
I also self harm when I drink. Or did the last couple of times. Also had to go to the ER but I had waited too long for stitches (since nothing was still actively bleeding...I guess after 12 hours they no longer do stitches, or something. Glue however. Who knew? Crazy glue, literally. Well its got a rubberized characteristic so it bends. I guess that scars less). I realized my drinking (like I shouldn't have truly realized this before but denial is very powerful) is just a form of self harm...like a suicide without actually doing it. And I realized how dangerous I am. Not just to myself, but to others. That also should have been obvious way before, but it takes what it takes. I'm a lethal weapon under the influence. Pretty hard to bend that into any kind of 'fun'. I guess that was my bottom....or I sure hope so. Beating myself up doesn't help, but brutal honesty does. I have no right to drink. I had to grow up.
Hang in there. Get help for sure.
I also self harm when I drink. Or did the last couple of times. Also had to go to the ER but I had waited too long for stitches (since nothing was still actively bleeding...I guess after 12 hours they no longer do stitches, or something. Glue however. Who knew? Crazy glue, literally. Well its got a rubberized characteristic so it bends. I guess that scars less). I realized my drinking (like I shouldn't have truly realized this before but denial is very powerful) is just a form of self harm...like a suicide without actually doing it. And I realized how dangerous I am. Not just to myself, but to others. That also should have been obvious way before, but it takes what it takes. I'm a lethal weapon under the influence. Pretty hard to bend that into any kind of 'fun'. I guess that was my bottom....or I sure hope so. Beating myself up doesn't help, but brutal honesty does. I have no right to drink. I had to grow up.
Hang in there. Get help for sure.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 274
Yes will feel better soon, I hope the ER did something to help you that detox. My pharmacist has a topical ointment for reducing scars. It was recommended to me after hip replacement surgeries. I did not buy it because it was quite expensive and very few people will see my scars but there is stuff out there that will lessen the appearance of the scars. We care about you, keep positive and keep healing. Vitamins and magnesium might help, as alcohol depletes those. Ask your doctor. Keep us posted about your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
What's your plan for staying sober, now?
Whatever it was that you allowed to take over your sanity and put a drink to your lips, sort that out. If it takes meds, or The Samaritans, or rehab, or AA, or counseling - make that plan now while this is fresh in your mind. Something needs to change, Snufkin.
New Weekender thread in a few hours, I'll look for you there.
How about joining the 24 Hour commitment thread, too? Plug in somewhere and commit to checking in, okay?
You can have a completely new and better life starting now.
Whatever it was that you allowed to take over your sanity and put a drink to your lips, sort that out. If it takes meds, or The Samaritans, or rehab, or AA, or counseling - make that plan now while this is fresh in your mind. Something needs to change, Snufkin.
New Weekender thread in a few hours, I'll look for you there.
How about joining the 24 Hour commitment thread, too? Plug in somewhere and commit to checking in, okay?
You can have a completely new and better life starting now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
What's your plan for staying sober, now?
Whatever it was that you allowed to take over your sanity and put a drink to your lips, sort that out. If it takes meds, or The Samaritans, or rehab, or AA, or counseling - make that plan now while this is fresh in your mind. Something needs to change, Snufkin.
New Weekender thread in a few hours, I'll look for you there.
How about joining the 24 Hour commitment thread, too? Plug in somewhere and commit to checking in, okay?
You can have a completely new and better life starting now.
Whatever it was that you allowed to take over your sanity and put a drink to your lips, sort that out. If it takes meds, or The Samaritans, or rehab, or AA, or counseling - make that plan now while this is fresh in your mind. Something needs to change, Snufkin.
New Weekender thread in a few hours, I'll look for you there.
How about joining the 24 Hour commitment thread, too? Plug in somewhere and commit to checking in, okay?
You can have a completely new and better life starting now.
Thank you so much for making sure I’m OK, it is indeed time to revise my plan of action...
It’s day 3 and I’m finally feeling a bit better... I recently started seeing a pdoc and was on antidepressants for a while, but I can’t say I was being honest with my doc about the extent of my alcohol addiction... My next appointment is tomorrow morning (in a few hours actually - I’m too anxious to be able to sleep
), so I’m planning to have an honest conversation about everything that happened and see where we can go from there... I want to be fully committed to AA program. I know I need face-to-face support, but I was never attending meetings regularly, sometimes I just couldn’t be bothered... so that’s gonna change.
I still want to keep posting, reading and checking in on SR everyday - looking forward to the new Weekender thread
Defo need to work with my pdoc on what triggers me to drink. Some of my depressive episodes are so intense, it feels like I lose control and I start to believe I’m so worthless I no longer care what’s gonna happen if I drink.
Loneliness is another big trigger - I worked very hard on isolating myself from everyone, especially family, so it would be nice to reconnect with some people or make new friends...
+ exercise to boost seratonin... instead of sitting on my butt all day and whining.
That’s all I can think of for now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Originally Posted by Gilmer
Hi, Snuf.
Remove yourself from all alcohol.
Hand over your cash and credit cards to your BF when you go out. Go out of your way to not pass by bars and liquor stores.
Don’t go to the supermarket unaccompanied.
If you have to cut ties with drinking friends, so be it.
It’s simple, but not easy—but in order to pull the plug, you really have to pull the plug on everything for awhile.
It can be done: all of us here are living proof.
You can do it. The really torturous phase doesn’t last that long.
Tie yourself to the mast like Ulysses did!
You will come through victorious if you have every tool at the ready.
Use SR 24/7 if necessary; go to AA or another face-to-face meeting and get a sponsor—at least get phone numbers from people in the group. When they say “call,” they’re not just being polite: they truly want to help you the second you need it.
I ‘ll be praying for firm resolve, strength, and clarity for you, Snuf.
You can do it!
Remove yourself from all alcohol.
Hand over your cash and credit cards to your BF when you go out. Go out of your way to not pass by bars and liquor stores.
Don’t go to the supermarket unaccompanied.
If you have to cut ties with drinking friends, so be it.
It’s simple, but not easy—but in order to pull the plug, you really have to pull the plug on everything for awhile.
It can be done: all of us here are living proof.
You can do it. The really torturous phase doesn’t last that long.
Tie yourself to the mast like Ulysses did!
You will come through victorious if you have every tool at the ready.
Use SR 24/7 if necessary; go to AA or another face-to-face meeting and get a sponsor—at least get phone numbers from people in the group. When they say “call,” they’re not just being polite: they truly want to help you the second you need it.
I ‘ll be praying for firm resolve, strength, and clarity for you, Snuf.
You can do it!
Thank you Gilmer! ❤️❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Thinking of you today Snufkin- how are you feeling? You don't ever have to go back to that hell again. Keep that memory alive to remind you of the pain. That helped me so much in the beginning.
You deserve a life of happiness, peace and freedom. Is there some outside support you could find other than your doctor? Any meetings you would like to attend or a program of some sort? The depression worries me- I've been there- it's finally lifted a bit but it took a while. I'm glad you are going to talk to you doctor. I know certain anti depressants can cause really bad episodes if you drink on them- that happened to me many years ago at a kid's birthday party where I decided to get wasted on vodka.
Anyway- please let us know how you are doing...We are here for YOU!
You deserve a life of happiness, peace and freedom. Is there some outside support you could find other than your doctor? Any meetings you would like to attend or a program of some sort? The depression worries me- I've been there- it's finally lifted a bit but it took a while. I'm glad you are going to talk to you doctor. I know certain anti depressants can cause really bad episodes if you drink on them- that happened to me many years ago at a kid's birthday party where I decided to get wasted on vodka.
Anyway- please let us know how you are doing...We are here for YOU!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
Thinking of you today Snufkin- how are you feeling? You don't ever have to go back to that hell again. Keep that memory alive to remind you of the pain. That helped me so much in the beginning.
You deserve a life of happiness, peace and freedom. Is there some outside support you could find other than your doctor? Any meetings you would like to attend or a program of some sort? The depression worries me- I've been there- it's finally lifted a bit but it took a while. I'm glad you are going to talk to you doctor. I know certain anti depressants can cause really bad episodes if you drink on them- that happened to me many years ago at a kid's birthday party where I decided to get wasted on vodka.
Anyway- please let us know how you are doing...We are here for YOU!
You deserve a life of happiness, peace and freedom. Is there some outside support you could find other than your doctor? Any meetings you would like to attend or a program of some sort? The depression worries me- I've been there- it's finally lifted a bit but it took a while. I'm glad you are going to talk to you doctor. I know certain anti depressants can cause really bad episodes if you drink on them- that happened to me many years ago at a kid's birthday party where I decided to get wasted on vodka.
Anyway- please let us know how you are doing...We are here for YOU!
It looks like I won't be able to complete my honours degree thanks to my constant drinking and hangovers. I don't want to wallow in self-pity, but yeah it makes me feel like an utter failure...
Sigh. Tomorrow's another day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Snufkin
Thank you Sunflower. I'm feeling pretty low today, but at least physically I'm better. My doc's appointment didn't go so well, I was very anxious and couldn't make myself talk or even keep eye contact, it was like I lost all ability to communicate, so I was just mumbling something, staring at the floor...
It looks like I won't be able to complete my honours degree thanks to my constant drinking and hangovers. I don't want to wallow in self-pity, but yeah it makes me feel like an utter failure...
Sigh. Tomorrow's another day.
It looks like I won't be able to complete my honours degree thanks to my constant drinking and hangovers. I don't want to wallow in self-pity, but yeah it makes me feel like an utter failure...
Sigh. Tomorrow's another day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Snufkin
but I was never attending meetings regularly, sometimes I just couldn’t be bothered... so that’s gonna change.
all ya have to do is go to meetings and work the program on days youd drink.
and not drink even if your ass is falling off.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
It's okay- that degree isn't going anywhere. You will finish it when the time is right. It's OK to put some things on hold while you take care of the most important thing in the world- your health. Just put all your focus on getting better. It will be worth it, I promise. It will be much easier to do your degree with a clear head, more free time and some sobriety under your belt so you feel more confident and worthy. This addiction takes so much out of us, sometimes it feels like there's nothing left. I hated myself when I was drinking. It's only now that I am actually learning to love the real me. You can get there too. Just take it one day at a time and have faith that you CAN do this...
Originally Posted by tomsteve
pretty crazy how we couldnt be bothered with footwork to recover but we could be bothered to run for a drink any time.
all ya have to do is go to meetings and work the program on days youd drink.
and not drink even if your ass is falling off.
all ya have to do is go to meetings and work the program on days youd drink.
and not drink even if your ass is falling off.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Glad you're feeling a little better physically, Snuff.
Can you take a leave of absence from Uni for health reasons? That way you won't have to reapply, etc.
Hang in there.......you can do this! Don't listen to you AV. Our AVs have an uncanny knack for detecting our weakest link.
Can you take a leave of absence from Uni for health reasons? That way you won't have to reapply, etc.
Hang in there.......you can do this! Don't listen to you AV. Our AVs have an uncanny knack for detecting our weakest link.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Originally Posted by Rar
Glad you're feeling a little better physically, Snuff.
Can you take a leave of absence from Uni for health reasons? That way you won't have to reapply, etc.
Hang in there.......you can do this! Don't listen to you AV. Our AVs have an uncanny knack for detecting our weakest link.
Can you take a leave of absence from Uni for health reasons? That way you won't have to reapply, etc.
Hang in there.......you can do this! Don't listen to you AV. Our AVs have an uncanny knack for detecting our weakest link.
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